Sunday, December 31, 2006


Happy New Year from ours to yours.
Here's to a great year and happiness and love in 2007.
But no more being pregnant for me! Woot!!!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

For the Rest of Us

Because the airing of grievances is very important.

Get your Pole today!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Happy Holidays

So here's the thing.

During the 9 months of my pregnancy I was miserable. I was nauseous 24 hours a day, tired all the time and extremely uncomfortable. With all that I became a crabby, crabby human being.

I also was very scared.

I was convinced something was wrong with me, with the baby, something horrible and awful was going to happen to me during labor.

I worried day in and day out, about what was wrong with me or the baby, worrying about what would happen. So sure that doom was lurking around the maternity ward corner.

So when Makenna was born, and she was immediately swept away to be shaken and stirred, cleaned up and processed, I cried.

I cried because she was absolutely perfect.

I cried because I immediately stopped feeling sick.

I cried because I knew my days of throwing up after brushing my teeth were over.

I cried because I would be able to sleep on my stomach again!

I cried because I was so grateful.

I cried because I learned again what I knew all along--that worrying is just as effective as chewing bubble gum to solve algebra.

I cried because I am so incredibly blessed in my life.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Pie Misunderstanding

LP tends to use old euphemisms and phrases that you would normally hear coming from an 85-year-old man who spent his life working on a farm. I call these his curmudgeon-isms. The girls and I are all used to it, and it is not unlikely you will hear my 6-year-old say, "Well, six in one hand, half dozen in the other." LP prides himself on these, and sometimes even attempts to make new ones up, causing us all to groan because they are usually pretty pathetic. This is a man who still calls the freezer an 'icebox' and exclaims, "What in tarnation?"

Every now and then, he hears someone yapping and will tell them, "Shut your piehole." Now, he never says this in anger, just usually when Dubya is on TV or when Rug is trying to plead her case when she is up on charges given by her sister that she swung the cat around by her front legs.

The other day, LP, Rug and Al were driving in the car (I'm assuming I was still in the hospital). Apparently the road got very bumpy.

Rug says, "Oh Daddy, this road is so bumpy it's making my piehole feel funny!"

He turned around and said, "What? Why would it make your piehole feel funny?"

She replied, "Well, isn't your piehole your privates?"

LP was silent for a second. "Uh, no it's your MOUTH. Where you would put pi...I am NOT having this conversation with you!"

So all this time Rug thought her piehole was something altogether different. Great, where on earth did she learn that?? The last thing I need is my 1st grader referring to her special purpose as PIE. I've got to pay closer attention to what is going on around here!

I am very interested as to what her idea of shutting her piehole meant.

No wait. I'm really not.

*(the picture is of my neighbor's yard after the ice storm)

Monday, December 11, 2006

Haven't left yet

But we are recovering from last week's ice storm that put us out of power...and of course we're trying to get used to being on 'baby time'!! Things are great, wonderful, awesome. She is such a great baby and I am so blessed.

Will write more soon, hope everyone is well.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Keep on Truckin

Thanks for all the well wishes. Makenna decided to grace us with her first sleepless night last night, so LP and I are recovering. He has taken several weeks off of work so he and I will be able to conquer the sleeplessness together, thank goodness. Plus, well hell I'm used to not sleeping so it's all old hat to me. And now that I'm able to sleep on my belly, that just makes life all that much better.

We got rid of both the older girls last night and LP took me out for sushi. Yum, of course it was absolutely delicious. I got the caterpillar roll (eel, avocado, cucumber) and the dragon roll (oh, more eel, cucumber and avocado!). Then I came home and ate about 5 of those Ferrera Rocher with great gusto and we rented "The Break Up" that we both enjoyed.

Life is good!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope all of your holidays are bright this week. We certainly have a blessing in our lives to be thankful for.

Makenna Say Qua

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Saturday would be alright

Happy Feet was cute, but sort of hodge podge. I recommend waiting for the DVD. It was looooong.

We went to a trivia night with some friends last night, I thought I was going into labor but to no avail. I ended up re-visiting the spinach and artichoke dip they served. Yes, it was very disgusting. I highly recommend not doing that to anyone in their 40th week of pregnancy.

So Monday morning I'll be at the hospital, bright and early, to be chemically induced. Just like the other two. No chance of me going into labor and having Zack Morris deliver my baby in an elevator, which, in reality, is how I always envisioned my birth to play out.

Doesn't everyone?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Stick to the Status Quo

Membranes: Sufficiently stripped. (didn't hurt too bad!)

Cramping: None.

Attempts at 'other' labor inducing activities: Several.

Attempts working: None.


Going to go see "Happy Feet" tonight with the girls. Maybe that'll do the trick.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


once again Blogger is making my posts disappear. Odd.

Final Countdown!!

Still here...go to the doctor on Thursday though. She said she would 'strip my membranes' to help out...I never had this done before but I'm willing to try. I've heard it hurts like a mother but, I'd like to BE a mother soon so I may just have to do it. I'm quite aware that LABOR itself hurts so we can just assume I'll be in pain sometime during the next week.

I'm gonna go get me a pedicure today.

In the meantime enjoy the Sushi Challenge. I love the fact that the Sushi Chef's name is George.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

whoa horsie!!

I can't even begin to tell you the chaos that was last week. I remember saying on Halloween to one of my friends, "Well, at least I can say tomorrow is a new day." Unfortunately the day after wasn't much better.

I'm not kidding! Let me give a snippet of the events that occurred last week. My youngest fell on her head while wearing a hair clip and had it lodged inside her melon, my eldest ran into a wall and bruised her leg and couldn't walk, the mom of the fam we usually go trick-or-treating with had a meltdown and said her husband was leaving her and just started crying right then and there...WHILE we were trick-or-treating...I've somehow caught the flu bug and haven't been able to breathe properly all week.

Remember, that was a snippet. There was a whole bundle of other schmidt that went down.

Oh, and I had not once, not twice but three times had some one tell me they wanted to sit by me so 'they can look skinny'.

I had a bit of a breakdown myself yesterday and cried for a half an hour. LP didn't know what to do with me. I couldn't stop, no matter how I tried. (Did I mention I NEVER CRY???) I completely freaked my kids out. They are sufficiently scarred now.

And TKW, you should be happy to know that since I no longer can wear any of my shoes due to puffiness, I am still wearing flip flops, well beyond November 1st. In your honor, my dear.

But there is hope for a better week this week. We went and bought Makenna a dresser today and have finally put up her crib, so she is ready to join our fam. So all is on the up and up. Yesterday while at Target I saw a Cabbage Patch doll named "Makenna Piper". I figured it was a sign to let my husband have his way, so I think we may change her middle name from Elizabeth to Piper. I can live with that. And no, I didn't buy the doll, I guess I should.

Even though the girls totally got screwed on the Halloween bit this year (hello, they did not get ONE Reese's cup OR a Butterfinger. WTF!) they looked great and were able to at least enjoy dressing up. I promised them next year we would have the Halloween of all Halloweens and they would be the envy of all their friends.
Or at least dammit, I'll buy them the mongo Sam's club bag of Reese's cups.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Happy Halloween! I guess I should be scared, considering I live in the most "dangerous city" in America!! Ha! That is terribly misleading, but I'm not surprised. Of course this information comes days after our big Win, which is also not surprising either, because seriously, getting respect for St. Louis is like getting Paris Hilton to put some clothes on.

We had an incredibly lonnnnng weekend, but it's over so the twitch in my eye is gone now. We did make the time to go downtown to the Parade to watch our boys and celebrate! The atmosphere was amazing, I'm so glad my kids got to experience it:
And we have figured out that Al was born a month after the Bulls won the NBA championship, Rug was born days before the Rams won the Super Bowl, and now Makenna gave us the World Series. But don't think for a second I'll be trying for a Blues Stanley Cup. Not gonna happen.
Today will be spent with lots of partying and lots of makeup. Rug is the Corpse Bride and Al is Medusa--tying snakes into a wig ain't the easiest thing to do but we did it! Have a great Halloween hope it brings lots of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups your way! Which, btw, is yet another cursed thing about being pregnant...I have not been able to eat ANY peanut butter, it totally causes me to have heartburn. Ugh it's almost over! I'm counting the days, and my post-partum meal will consist of a rainbow roll of sushi, a beer, and a Reese's Peanut Butter cup. Now that sounds delicious, right?

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Friday, October 27, 2006

Sleepy time

I fell asleep. Again. The top of the 7th inning. NO fair. Tonight though, I am so staying up. It's supposed to rain all day today, who knows. Apparently the rain helps remove any 'smudge' from the pitcher's hands HA! I love that they're calling David Eckstein a 'little Smurf'. That just makes it all the sweeter! And I do happen to have a Smurf in a red suit, I'll have to dig that one out. Because, it's important, you know.


(this is my vintage 1982 Wold Series jersey that does not fit over my belly anymore. Oh who am I kidding. It doesn't fit over my BOOBS either. My point here is, I was the EXACT same age of Al the last time the Cardinals won the World Series. Coincidence?)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

of course you want more!

Because I have nothing better to do than give you a link to enjoy more of my favorite 80s toys.

Happy Birthday to the SMURFS!!!!!!!

In other news, Kenny Rogers (the pitcher, not the Gambler, although at this point they might be one in the same) may or may not have had pine tar on his hand pitching to the Cardinals. Okay, so what? He was STILL able to kick their asses, even after he supposedly washed his hands. No excuses tonight okay? You're in Cardinal town tonight, so there better be an ass whuppin. We all bleed RED you know.

And LP, for future reference, when I say I'm not cleaning up after dinner, it does not mean, " leave it and I will clean it up in the morning." 'Kay?

I will have to tell you about my weekend some time. Me, preggers as ever, staying out until 3 a.m. at the bars. What a sight. I almost got denied at one bar, the bouncer apparently thought I was a moron going out to preggo-drink the night away. Hey, I'm uncomfortable, but I'm not THAT uncomfortable. Trust me, as soon as this baby is out I'm having a beer. Just not yet!

Friday, October 20, 2006

not another word

I wasn't even going to mention the whole Cards thing this year.

First of all, I did not make it to ONE SINGLE game this year. In our new stadium. Not a one. Do you have any IDEA how many years it has been that that's occurred? I could not tell you. At least 15 years. I make it to at least One game. But nope, not this year. Why? Because of that stupid flippin new stadium. Oh sure LP went. Not me. So that's frustrating.

Secondly, I stopped watching the Cards in July. They were just sucking so badly, and Pujols was the only one worth watching. Then in September he just started sucking. So why bother? At least the pitching was OK, but still. Not worth my time.

Then the jerkwads got to the playoffs. Wha? How the hell did that happen? Okay, but they won't make it to the next round.

Oh wait. They did.

So on Wednesday night, I knew they were just going to blow it, and I fell asleep. So glad I did. They blew it. Like I thought they would.

Last night, I tentatively put the game on recall while I watched Law & Order. I figured if I watched it with full force, then they would surely lose and I would end up going into labor. But Law & Order is only an hour, so of course I put the game on afterwards.

And promptly fell asleep. Damn Phenergan!! (No wait...I love you Phenergan, it was just a joke. You stop me from puking and make me sleepy sleep. I SO love you.)

I awoke to the sound of "HOLY CRAP JANA YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!" which scared the holey moley outta me, having already achieved REM sleep and dreaming about mermaids.

Apparently LP thought, "I'll just watch Molina bat and go to bed" and sure enough, my little Yadi scored a 2-run homer. Holy crap indeed.

(note: I'm always rooting for the underdog, my favorite players are almost always non-superstars...hell Craig Paquette and Bruce Sutter were two of my old favorites, so Yadier has been a fave of mine, he's just so cute--which usually has something to do with why I pick them as my favorites.)

So now I'm wide awake and it's the ninth inning. No pressure, none at all. Wainwright is pitching, and ohmigod in a flash the bases are effing LOADED.

Yes, I'm most definitely going to go into labor. You're killing me here.

And then, he pitches that awesome ball and the Mets stadium sounds like the sound proof room they put contestants from the Newlywed Game in. Absolutely silent.

I stayed up to watch some of the post-game interviews, and I know that my Cardinals will never attain the popularity and beloved-ness as other teams like the (gak) Yankees or the Red Sox, but damn I do love them.

They're going to the World Series!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 19, 2006


What more can I say than....ugh. Someone asked me yesterday if I was carrying twins. Apparently they did not receive the etiquette book on how to speak to a pregnant lady. I'm sure he is recovering nicely.

I had my baby shower and it was lovely. My friends luv me, they even made homemade guacamole. Got a lotta pink. I'm not much of a light pink girl myself, but I've loosened up a little bit. My MIL told me I'd be taking all that back though, since this is a BOY. (she is still hoping I guess...whatever!) What I did not have for my other kids that completely kicks a$$...holders for everything! The stroller we got even has a wipes holder! Woot!

So we have all the gear and basics for when bambina arrives. Diapers and wipes, that's all ya need. No, her bedroom is not ready yet, but we're gonna work on that this weekend. If anyone has a need for several Polly Pockets, please let me know now because otherwise several Pollys will be facing their imminent doom. Plus a few Bratz dolls, who probably have cases of chlamydia anyway and who will not be missed.

I'm in the home stretch now, and I will not let this heartburn beat me! Looking forward to sharing sweet pics. I go see the doctor tomorrow, and will update more next week.

Take care all!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Haves and have nots

Take the time today to appreciate all you have.

Miniature Earth.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Not Making me Laugh. At all.

I just came back from The Kept Woman's site. On it she has a link to an interview with Shirley Phelps Roper. This woman is completely insane, and to think there are others who believe the same, makes me hurt inside.

Listen to the interview.

I'd say that she needs to get laid, but crap she has 11 children. W.T.F.????

Making Me Laugh

I had a doctor's appointment this morning, and I sat directly across from a young, very preggers girl who was clearly uncomfortable. Just as I was about to ask her if she was okay, they called her to the window. Here was the conversation between said girl and receptionist/MA:

Girl: I've been feeling bad today, and having some contractions so I was wondering if I could see the doctor quickly.

MA: Are the contractions frequent? How far apart?

Girl: Um, like five minutes.

MA: And how far along are you?

Girl: 38 and a half weeks.

*stunned silence of all in the waiting room*

MA: Um, bye. You need to go to the hospital right now!

Girl: But I feel okay now.

MA: Did you drive here?

Girl: Yes. I can drive myself to the hospital I guess.


We were all laughing after we left. Apparently this girl did not know she was in labor! Which, of course, will never happen to me. Both the girls had to be induced, and I'm sure Makenna will be just as stubborn. I can remember sitting in the hospital room, with NO CABLE, bored out of my skull and starving. Now I've learned at least they have cable now at the hospital, but I still need something to pass the time.

So do you have any ideas on what we could do while we're waiting and NOT in active labor? Since our iPod broke (I've been in denial about it, it's a post for another day) LP bought an iPod phone so we have at least some music we could download. So if anyone has good labor/delivery music that might help the process, let me know. I plan on making a playlist with your suggestions. Of course "Here Comes My girl" will be on it. But remember, NO ELVIS!!!!!!

Monday, October 02, 2006


Seven weeks to go. That's all I keep thinking. Egad.

is the crib up?


Do I have a car seat?


I figure the kid can get thrown into the trunk and can sleep on the couch. What, because it's a baby it has to be treated differently than my other kids? Please. If she can't grab a Gogurt from the fridge at 4 in the morning by 3 months old than she's going to be in trouble.

Okay so maybe I'm a little grouchy from spending 6 hours in the ER this weekend from little missy. That's all. Who does she think she is laying on MY blood vessels and preventing MY blood from circulating? My body is NOT an all-inclusive resort. Sure meals are provided, but that does not mean you are allowed to mistreat the staff. Those blood vessels are working FOR you dearie. Pay them some respect.

Fortunately all ultrasounds revealed no blood clots so she is not grounded immediately when she gets out, but I'd say a time out is in order.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006


3 years ago on my birthday we went to NYC. Then we had a big party with friends, went out drinking and I got a kickass SLR camera for a present.

This year, not so much.

I get to take my kid to soccer practice. I got a body pillow and a crock pot as gifts.

Saddest thing is, I was REALLY EXCITED to get the pillow and crock pot.

Whew getting old puts the F-U in FUN.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Old pictures

I found a disk with some old pictures on it, circa maybe 2001-2002. This was around the time I was at my full Stay at Home Momness. These were some of my favorite times.

Nice wifebeater there LP.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Ahoy maties, red flag ahead

Did everyone enjoy Talk Like A Pirate Day yesterday? Good. I love to spend my afternoon discussing latitude and longitude with my 4th grader while incorporating treasure, gold and walking the plank into my conversation. Lovely.

A few days ago, Dooce was talking about deal breakers on dates. While all were very entertaining, I admitted to myself that I must have had pretty low standards. When I met LP, I broke so many of my dealbreakers it's not even funny (hello, he watched wrestling. WRESTLING.) But i've also been married for 9 years and 7 months so I must have done something right. And even though I didn't date a whole heck of a lot, I can recall not thinking it that big of a deal if a guy was 10 minutes late. You just never know how long that inning is going to take, ya know?

So I give you my top 5 deal breakers of dating, if I was in fact single and even knew what I was talking about, which I so totally don't:

P.S. (please refer to this post on my dating experiences, they are few but note worthy)

5. Any type of drug usage, especially when you discuss it with me on the first date. That was fun when we were in high school, but seriously? A guy who snorts a line when he's got a mortgage just is NOT husband material. Bleh.
4. Not that this ever happened to me, but someone who would answer his cell phone during the middle of a date conversation would infuriate me. Um, that is so showing my age, but when I was dating, cell phones were still the ones in the bag in your car. But it's still rude, I don't care how socially acceptable cell phones are nowdays.
3. Bad breath.
2. Sycophants. Oh my gosh it is okay for you to have an opinion. Just because we're on a date does not mean I would get offended if you disagreed with me. Guys who say, "I'm not really into haiku writing," and I respond, "Oh, i love to haiku!!" and then they say, "Yeah, haiku is pretty fun." No, that will not fly with me. Grow some. Have an opinion please. (side note though--haiku probably isn't something you discuss on a date, but haiku rocks!)

and my #1 dealbreaker if I was dating and needed to have a deal broken:

1. Someone who tells you they 'love you' or have a 'connection' with you too soon.
I am not someone who has ever worn their emotions on their sleeve. I believe in order to be truly connected to a person, you really need to spend a good amount of time with said person. I do have an uncannily good judge of character, but that does not mean you know me after one date. Don't tell me you love me or that we were meant to be. Because it usually isn't true. I've had guys say this when I thought, "This guy is crazy!" and then I've been schnookered into believing it by another guy who was boinking someone else at the same time.

It took LP and I 3 months of 'getting to know you' time before we realized one night we were in love. It wasn't love at first sight. We went to Wal-Mart to buy a fan and sat outside eating potato chips together, and in one cosmic moment we both knew. That's how it's supposed to happen, folks.

And LP has NEVER written me a haiku.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Reason #4,608,000 why you kick ass:

When I asked you where you want go to out to dinner for your birthday, you replied,

"Nowhere. All I want to do is order in some Chinese food and hang out with you and the girls."

Happy Birthday to my own personal hairy monkey.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


AL: "Mom, remember when I asked for help with my reading homework and you gave me the answer?"

Me: "Yes."

Al: "Well, it was wrong. It was 'bait', not 'freight.'"

Me: "Oh?"

AL: "But I don't feel bad for you. Hunter's mom got it wrong too."

Me: "Gee, thanks."

Al: "I meant, don't FEEL bad. Cuz you got it wrong."

Me: "Right."

LP: (laughing) "Yes, she won't feel bad about getting YOUR homework wrong!"

Rug: "Oh, yeah that's is just CLASSIC."

Me, LP, Al: ?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Libra sun

Fall is my favorite season. I love the smells, the tastes, the overall feel of it. My birthday is in fall, pumpkin carving, chili cook offs and hayrides are just my idea of perfect activities. I have a candle someone bought me a few years ago called 'Spiced Cider" that just sums it all up. LP said he read somewhere that smell is the strongest memory one can have. I believe it. Fall is an olfactory heaven for me.

I am feeling pretty good these days, considering that is. I'm still not jumping or doing somersaults, but I am able to do a little more. I actually took a walk the other day with the family, that was nice. We spent this past weekend cleaning up the house, which sounds totally boring but it brought me great satisfaction. Instead of agreeing to eight million get-togethers, we stayed at home as a family and spent some QUA-lity time together. Fantastic. The crib isn't up yet and we still don't have a car seat, but we're at least somewhat on our way to baby-dom.

I've been looking all over for that perfect 'coming home' outfit for Makenna. I can't seem to find one. I still have the outfits Al and Rug wore home from the hospital, and they ain't much. Poor Al ended up in a onesie because the outfits I brought were just too big. Rug wore one of those gowns, which was perfect. I want something nicer for Makenna, and it hasn't caught my eye yet.

And readers, the last two paragraphs are the reason why I have not updated my blog. Pregnancy has made me a bore. I never wanted this blog to be a pregnancy blog, because, unless you're pregnant, it's not that interesting. And unfortunately from this pregnancy there isn't much i can be nostalgic about. So I've decided to leave you with some pictures. Of some of the blogs I read, I notice that when they don't have a lot to say, they just take pictures. I'd do this if I had a kickass camera and any abilities whatsoever, but I don't. Maybe I'll persue it more once the baby is born, but not now.
So I'm leaving you with my Smurf collection. Remember when I said some day I'd take a picture of them but they are at my mom's? Well, we were there and I took some pictures. I also have this cool vintage McDonald's that I played with constantly as a child and still have all the parts to. Now my kids play with them and they love it when I talk in 'smurf'. I even added my Playmobil people AND am AtroSnick (McDonald's Smurf from the 80s). Enjoy!!!

And have a smurfy day.

Friday, August 25, 2006

SPF: Worst Morning Ever.

Kristine wants us to utilize the things that annoy us and create them into SPF art. Well, let me tell ya sumthin. This morning has caused me to cry on two separate occasions, and it is only 11:00 a.m. I have only had 3 hours of sleep (yes, I had a soda yesterday with caffeine, I know, my own fault. But there could have been soemthing better on at 2 a.m. ya know? Help a sister out.) and upon waking up discovered my land phones do not work therefore I cannot dial into work and earn money today and make my livin'. I dropped the kids off only minutes before the bell, only to have to drive 40 minutes away to drop my van off for repair (it stopped working...yeah just like my iPOD. Only the van is still under warranty, which is the only thing I have going for me today....ahhh tangent) and have some JERK cut me off in traffic and almost cause me to wreck, while my cell phone battery goes dead and I realize I left my debit card at home AND I am almost out of gas, and then halfway home I then realize I left the GARAGE DOOR OPENER in my van at the mechanic and have no way of getting into my house.

*Deep breath*

So I call LP and I have to go downtown St. Louis to get his opener, and using a 'short cut' I get lost in Brooklyn (Jbo--remember East St. Louis is the ghetto? Yeah, Brooklyn is the ghetto's ghetto) and I completely lose it, only minutes later does the highway sign lead me back onto salvation and over the bridge. Ohmigosh.

I hadn't eaten BREAKFAST yet people. I am 7 months pregnant. AND i had to pee.

Needless to say, SPF isn't going to be imaginative today. It's going to be old pictures. But I WANT to play. I NEED to play. Having missed out on the last two weeks (which were awesome themes) I am GOING TO PLAY.

So here we go. I know you in no way needed those last paragraphs in your day, but it makes me feel a hell of a lot better to get it off my chest. My 7 month pregnant, large lactating chest. OK.

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME and will someone please give me the go ahead to have a beer even though I am pregnant? Please?:

1. No, it's not my kids. It's my in-laws. This was taken at their house, so I thought it was the least incriminating picture I had. It's funny too, because when we first got married, they were the 'nice' in-laws. I had NO inkling of the terror that would ensue in years to come. I believe they are the reason Xanax was invented in the first place.

2. My Space:

You have seen this picture before, it is my den. I LUV my den and it is here where I am forced to watch "Phil of the Future" and "That's So Raven". (okay, I admit it...I totally think Phil is cute) It is so cozy and as soon as I am done with this I am going to sack my preggo patoot right there.

3. Things that annoy me part 2:

I miss running 5ks. I miss lifting weights. I miss waking up at the butt crack of dawn to go running. I miss my stomach muscles. I miss feeling OK when I wake up. I miss sushi. I miss having a beer. A glass of wine. A shot of something. I miss seeing my feet. I miss my cute, non-swollen feet. I really miss sushi. I miss being able to brush my teeth without gagging. (I don't miss my period) I miss being able to sneeze without peeing in my pants. I miss bending down and picking up something I dropped without it being a major occasion. Okay I think that's enough for now. *Disclaimer for those who have never been pregnant: This is my third. The other two were not like this. Not even remotely. I was singing and painting rooms two days before delivery with the other two. This one not so much. But damn I miss sushi.

Umm, kay, hope I didn't just give my cloud to y'all. I'm not usually this negative. Been a long mornin! Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

School is back, so is the quiet

Today the girls got up very, very early for their first day of school. This will never happen again until the last day of school.

I can't believe they are this old. I just can't.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Summer Reading

Life is crazy. I just can't keep up. I probably won't be blogging much, but I will try to comment still on everyone else's blogs.

Last night I finished "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt. My mother gave it to me, and when I told LP's aunt I was reading it she said, " depressing." I usually don't take other people's reviews of books too seriously, and I am glad I didn't with this book. It was compelling to say the least.

My grandfather grew up poor with an alcoholic father, so there were many similarities between the two. At one point I knew my grandpa was shipped off to live on a farm with a distant relative when my great-grandmother was sent off to the sanatorium. If it weren't for the military, who knew where he would have ended up.

Right before he died, I was over at his house and discovered that he had all his pictures stuffed into shoeboxes of different sizes. I remember spending many nights going through pictures, trying to figure out who the faces were. My grandpa would laugh and say, "I can barely see them, and your grandma can't remember them!" The pictures were so interesting to me, and the stories he told about some of the faces were mesmerizing.

That's what Angela's Ashes brought back to me. It is pretty depressing, because he lived such a squallor life until he came to America. But I guess in essence it is also a success story, as he went on to be a teacher and author. It also reminded me of all the stories older people have to share, but few listen to.

After finishing the book, I went straight to my favorite innernet and Googled "Duplex Planet."

When I was in high school, my brother, who, as crazy as he is, always introduced me to the coolest stuff...Robert Crumb cartoons, Bob Dobbs, Toad the Wet Sprocket...he gave me a book of Duplex Planet for my birthday. I was completely enthralled.

"Duplex Planet" is an ongoing project by David Greenberger. He more or less listens to elderly people and gets their viewpoints on many different subjects. It is humorous, but it's also to show how much we take for granted those viewpoints and disregard such an integral demographic of our society.

It will make you laugh, and also make you miss those days with your grandparents, when they talked about walking to school uphill both ways in 10 feet of snow.

Now the next question is...what book do I read next???

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

MySpace for Dummies

A few years ago, a good college friend of mine invited me join a website to 'stay connected'. I did, just because I rarely talked to her and it was a good way to stay in touch.

Yes, it was Myspace.

Fast forward to now, and that place is like a dance club that stays open later than the other bars and is where everyone goes when they haven't scored yet at the bars they have spent the last 5 hours getting tanked. It's where inhibitions go to die. (if you're familiar with the St. Louis area, Myspace is the "Oz" of the internet. 'Nuf said.) It is a whorehouse. A meat market. Thank Gilligan's Island my daughters are not old enough for it yet. I started blogging here because of it, because a guy messaged me asking me to be 'his' soccer Mom. WTF?

A few weekends ago, LP and I went out with another couple and had a discussion about MySpace. My girl friend was talking about one of her friends who has gotten so caught up in MySpace, you walk in on her and can find 8-10 instant message conversatons going on at one time, all with guys she met on MySpace. Oh and yeah, she is (was) married. MySpace destroyed their marriage.

LP was aghast! He had heard of MySpace but has actually never been on the site. I thought for sure he was kidding, because MySpace is in essence free (albeit soft) porn for all to view. And I know LP. ESPN ain't all he lookies up on the internet.

So yesterday, my sister-in-law emails me with a link to a MySpace page of a guy I knew and unfortunately, I FORMERLY DATED. He was, well, he was dirty. Remember when I said my ex-boyfriend has my name tattooed on his chest? Well this clever ex has a Tasmanian Devil playing HOCKEY on his arm. Oh classy. Yes, I know you are jealous.

LP came home last night and I had to show him the page. Which was a mistake, because I more or less popped his MySpace cherry and he went looking for anyone he could possibly find (just to make fun of, I'm guessing). He discovered, as I did, that most MySpacers are really the people you never want to run into after high school. It is a very small population of 'normal' ones out there.

Later on, I asked LP what he thought of his MySpace experience. He responded, "Well, it doesn't seem too different from blogging, really."

WHAT!!!!!!!!! Shut yo mouth with that talk. I might just go make you get a tattoo of my face on your chest for that one!

Friday, August 04, 2006


There is just too much going on for me to blog. Unfortunately I'm not one of those blogs that people wait with bated breath for a post, so it causes me sometimes to be a slacker. Plus I'm a "Mommyblogger" I guess, and I would really love to steer clear of all THAT broo-ha ha.

I've got enough in my real life to deal with! :)

LP threw his back out again and has been on Vicodin again, but we still had to have the girls' room painted by this weekend, so he's in there doing it. My house is a complete tornado of a mess, and I would really like to hire one of those professional organizers. It's killing me.

In the meantime though, I have been thoroughly enjoying EtiquetteHell. There have been some 'issues' with the baby shower some friends want to throw me, and I try to live as drama-free as I can, and from this website I see that I have it much better than off than some! Although I could write in about how my MIL gave me their rocking chair as a 'handed down' gift for my baby shower with Al, only after about 10 months she asked for it BACK, telling me it was never mine to 'keep'...and then selling it at a yard sale a few years later. That's gold right there. I wasn't sure what to put in her baby book as to what gift we received from them...'rocking chair that was on loan'???? Loony!

School starts in 2 weeks, and I would like to say things are getting slower but they've just started to pick up. It's Soccer Season. For us Soccer Moms that means focusing on the sidelines because, according to some, it's all we have in our sad, pathetic lives and we have to cling onto it and pretend we are happy even though we *really* aren't. Heh, it's too bad I truly am happy. I guess I'll have to live with it. :)

Hope everyone has a drama free, hate-free weekend!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Follow up

Well my doctor's appt was yesterday and I was in and out of there in 15 minutes. Hm, interesting. She also asked several questions about the 'pain' I was having and that she would continue monitoring it. The followup ultrasound determined the mass they found was a contraction and that I had no ovarian cysts.

So I am still with this mystery pain, which is terribly inconsistent, but I don't think I will be changing doctors yet as I have enough to deal with at this point. With LP's insurance, changing doctors is also like moving to Mars in difficulty.

In the meantime I did take the girls to see Kelly Clarkson in concert. Boy that girl can sing. We all had a blast, and hell yeah I paid for Premier parking and 'accidentally' got placed in the VIP parking! Took me 10 minutes to zip outta there after the concert! Woot!

So in the meantime I will leave with a top 5 list, of which I have not done in awhile:

Top 5 Songs I am enjoying at the Moment:

5. "Crazy" Gnarles Barkley
4. "Ain't No Other Man" Christina Aguilera
3. "Gone" Kelly Clarkson
2. "Is It Any Wonder?" Keane
1. All the fun re-mixes of 80 songs on iTunes. Good times!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

crazy road

Weathering the Storm

whoa storm
Originally uploaded by Vajana.

Past weekend events, hmm.

On Friday, my kids were at the local water park and LP took the day off. On our way to Lowe's for paint for their rooms, we noticed the sky was a bit dark. Almost black as night. Okay, it was green. LP looked at me and said, "Uh, should our daughters really be near a large pool of water during an electrical storm?" We high-tailed it towards the water park.

On the news later that evening, they listed places tornadoes hit.

Yeah, they included the road we were driving on.

It was totally freaky, and we are so monumentously lucky. We had two power lines fall in front of our car, along with several trees/branches near us, beside us, behind us, but fortunately not on top of us.

We made it to the water park where my idols the Brownie leaders had all 50 or so girl scouts rounded in a room singing "Herman the Worm". I think they should incude that song in all disaster manuals.

When we got home, there was only minor damage to our house, a few limbs and branches but nothing substantial. We did not have power though, and everything in our freezer and fridge were lost. Big deal!

We spent the weekend at my parents, which was nice but also made me realize a weekend is about the perfect length of stay with my parents. By Sunday I was ready to get back home!

Of course in hindsight I really wished we would have taken a different road, but I guess it makes for a good story. And LP can once again tell people he saved me from the wrath of Mother Nature (just like the Ozark boat trip!) Oh he is my Hero.

Now to get on the roof and try to find some hail damage so we can get a new roof! I'm thinking we're SOL but it's worth a shot!

Thursday, July 20, 2006


I had my followup ultrasound yesterday, and the sonographer not only found nothing else wrong with me, she could not find the supposed 'mass' that was found by the first sonographer. I should get my official results in a few days, but I'm even further perplexed by it all.

I did get to see little wee one again, she's growing like crazy and she took more pics. We are 99.9% sure her name is going to be Makenna. No we have not agreed on the middle name yet.

So here she is in all her little sweetness:

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


If I could sum up the past few days, that would be it. I have been stewing about all my inadequacies lately, going back to the time I said such and such to so and so in 1989 and I cannot seem to stop. This black cloud has had been culminating for some time now, and I can't shake off the rain. But I am a fully functioning black cloud, so no worries.

I did go see the Strangers with Candy movie on Friday with LP, and afterwards went to have some Bubble Tea with an old friend and her new flame. That was the highlight of my week. The movie was side-splitting hilarious, and it wasn't just me cuz the whole theater was erupting in laughter. We saw it at the Tivoli which is this really cool movie theater that someone refurbished and it has a great atmosphere. I almost pretended I was a single gal on a date but my protruding belly didn't let my daydream go too far!

We also purchased bunk beds for the girls this weekend, as well as a Pack-n-Play for the wee one. I should have my head examined for even SUGGESTING that Al and Rug share a bedroom. But that's just how it will be. I should go ahead and buy the duct tape now for the line down the middle of the room.

I'm on my second week of my Wilton Cake Decorating Class. How soccer mom is THAT? What's even worse is how completely excited I am about it. I've always wanted to be a pastry chef, and if I have to decorate Scooby Doo cakes to make me one step closer to that, by golly I will.

Al was in the newspaper this past week for swimming so well, I am so proud of her. They are both off at a summer camp this week, having a great time apparently. The weather has been in the 100s but they're in the woods, nice and cool.

Obviously I have nothing to say today, but I thought an update would be nice. For posterity.

Friday, July 14, 2006

SPF-- Your Piggies

Kristine asks and she shall receive. Stuff Portrait Day is pretty simple this week, just pictures of our toesies.

Thank goodness for stored pictures. I have yet ANOTHER picture from our Florida trip last year, aren't you so glad I took a gazillion pictures so I would have SPF material for the next year and a half!?!

Anyway, the pink piggies LOVE going to the market (well shopping anyway, she's a sassy one). The piggies at the top LOVE to eat roast beef and the crazy bejeweled piggies prefer not to eat roast beef. LP was off somewhere, so we'll just assume his piggies go wee wee wee all the way home.

Did you play?

Thursday, July 13, 2006


They postponed my ultrasound until next Wednesday. Wonderful.

I tried to stop taking the Phenergan for a day again with very, very bad results.

My very best friend called yesterday and told me she had a miscarriage at 12 weeks.

our iPod, the garage door opener, our ceiling fan and my cell phone all quit working yesterday. Together. As a team.

But life is still great. It all just allows me to count my unbelievable blessings.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


Thanks for all the comments about my doctor dilemma. My followup ultrasound is tomorrow, and once I find out anything from that, I will most likely make an appointment with a different doctor. Thanks for everyone's support, it really helped me to feel better.


For those of you who thought bartering was out of style, check this guy out:

Red Paperclip!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Cutting through red tape

I'd like to say my doctor appointments have been going along swimmingly, but that just is not even close to the truth. Although I'm certainly not having as many 'double talk' moments as Susie has, I've definitely had my share. It's getting very exhausting.

My old OB-Gyn retired about a year ago, so before I decided to go and get all knocked up, I went to this new office, early February of this year. I told them THEN and THERE of this lower abdominal pain I'd been having, and the PA-C insisted it was ovarian cysts. Okay.

I've seen two other 'professionals' in this office since then. The doctor (or, CC, completely clueless) and the midwife (she's okay, but let's just call her Man Hands). I have not seen the PA-C ever since, and she was the only one I really even felt comfortable with.

I saw the doctor (or CC) in late April and I mentioned the pain again to HER and she suggested it was irritable bowel syndrome. Right.

When I had my ultrasound and got to see the piggies of little Missy, they also found an irregular spot. They called to tell me this last Thursday. The Medical Assistant assigned to the task of calling me said it could be 'nothing' or 'something' but they want a 6 week checkup to make sure. I then reminded her of the lower abdomen pain, and that it had been hurting a lot that day. Her words were, "Oh! If you are having pain then you should probably see the doctor sooner." She set up a 'sooner' appointment for this past Friday. Okay. And please note she said see the DOCTOR. That will come into play later on. I hang up the phone.

And thus begins the freaking out.

I called LP and he suggested I call my insurance's 'helpline' for reassurance. I did. I got an 'advocate' who offered to call the office and explain the results to me. Big. Mistake.

Mind you, this woman had my best interests at heart, she did, but completely went about it the WRONG way. And I really got no good results out of it, other than being labeled "DIFFICULT" on my medical record I am sure. This woman conferenced me in with the medical assistant (poor girl) and more or less started a shouting match with her. She insisted I see the doctor THAT DAY (which would have been good) but the MA was having none of it. She finally got CC (my doctor) on the line. CC assured me and crazy lady that the 'mass' was probably benign and was not that concerned about it. I told her of the pain, and she said,(after I hear her obviously going through my chart) "You've had that for awhile, and we said it could be irritable bowel syndrome. I will give you a prescription for a stool softener."

Okay, y'all know I'm lactose intolerant right? So stool softener? Not such a great idea.

Then she said perhaps I had a urinary tract infection. I said, "For 6 months you think I've had a UTI? Plus, uh, I was JUST THERE and everything was CLEAN."

"Well, the best I can do is you can come in and give me a urine sample and we can test it today."

Read: "I will not see you today but you can waste YOUR TIME by coming in and repeating the same test you had done two days ago if you think that will shut this crazy lady up."

After we hung up with the office, the advocate woman suggested I find another doctor. Thanks.

So this past Friday I go to my doctor's office. I wait IN THE ROOM for over and hour and fifteen minutes. Just as I'm about to walk out, Man hands walks in. Yep, no doctor. She says, "We are here to discuss your ultrasound?" I looked at her blankly. "Well, I was having pain like I have been before and they said to come in sooner..."

"Oh, I have on your chart that we are just discussing the results of your ultrasound."

"But see, this pain, it's been intermittently getting worse."

"Are you having the pain right now?"


"Well, I can't very well evaluate it if you are not having the pain right now."

"But I was having the pain last week when the office called and suggested I come in earlier because I WAS HAVING THE PAIN."

"Well, let's go over the ultrasound results."

"So you're telling me the pain has nothing to do with the mass they found? The first person I came in here said it was ovarian cysts. Is that not true now?"


"Okay, then what could be causing this?"

"Well let's talk about the ultrasound results. You can just take Tylenol for the pain."

Oh my gosh I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I told her I wanted to know what the problem was, not to just take Tylenol and cover the pain. I insisted on a followup and she finally ordered another ultrasound. Then she proceeded to tell me she hoped I didn't think she was brushing off my pain, that was not her intention.


I've already started the search for a new doctor.


On a much lighter note, a friend of mine related this story to me the other day:

They were driving home from somewhere and a discussion came up about my pregnancy. Her 11-year-old daughter, a recent graduate of the Catholic school's sex education class which most likely scared them witless into avoiding sex like the Plague, was commenting on what a nice surprise it was, and how there had been several other nice 'surprises' lately. (a few of our older friends have had babies recently...more 'whoops' than planned!)

My friend replied, "Yes, there have been a lot of surpises lately."

Daughter: "Yeah, but mom what did they..."

F: "Yes?"

D: "I mean, it's nice but how did the surprise..."

F: "They had SEX, dear."

D: "OH MY GOSH I am going to get SICK. Are you serious? GROSS! EW! YUCK!!!!!!!!!"

I am not going to be able to look that child in the eyes for a long time.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Stuff Portrait Day Wedding Edition

Today is a very Stuff Portrait Day because tomorrow, Kristine and Shaun, the cute couple who sponsor this every week, are going to the chapel and gettin' hitched. Good news for them and us, bad news for single people everywhere as two more wonderful people will be off the market.

In honor of their wedding, this week's SPF is wedding themed:

1. Your Love (show us some love)
2. Take us on a Honeymoon! (bring us somewhere with your pictures)
3. Something Blue (No sad faces before my wedding!)

And in honor of the fact that I'm just plain LAZY and didn't take any pics, I'm just going to use ones that are already on my computer! SO there.

1. Your Love(s)

Welllllll naturally.

And even though he's been on The List recently, I still love me some LP.

2. Take us on a honeymoon!

I took this on our honey moon when we were in Hawaii and snuggling and...HA no I did not. Please. This was one of those pictures already pre-loaded on my computer. Perty tho huh. Let's pretend.

3. Something Blue. And I chose to use a pic that I've already used before but it's quite blue:

Have a great weekend everyone! I have yet another doctor's appointment today and hopefully they can figure out what is really wrong this time..wish me lots of luck. And oh yeah.....


Wednesday, July 05, 2006


Make me laugh!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Summer nights

Emotions running wild in the last few days:

* I cried at King Kong. It was a riduculously LONG and over-CGI'd movie, but at the end, when King Kong has those sad eyes, I could not contain myself. Damn humans screwing everything up.

* My poor Becks, crying on the sidelines after being subbed in the game against Portugal. And how am I supposed to feel when little hottie Christiano makes the winning goal? Oh my. I also saw David consoling his other players who were crying as well. Who said Brits were all stoic?

* My insurance 'advocate' getting into a HUGE argument with the poor unknowing Medical Assistant at my doctor's office. Now THAT they could have shown on pay per view. Whoa.

* And me again, crying watching VH1 Storytellers. That's a post for another day.

* Do you all realize how rare it is for me to cry more than once in a week? I didn't even cry at my ultrasound, or when either of my children were born. I am not a crier. It does not happen. Hell I almost cried watching fireworks last night. It's getting ridiculous.

On a good Mommy note, Al won 3 '2nd' places and 1 first place in her swim meet last night. Her butterfly rocks! I am so proud of her. And Rug has finally started swimming without use of flotation devices, so I'm feeling hap-hap-happy.

Have a great and safe 4th of July. I am the pyro in the family, so I spent lots of $$ on fountains and goodies such as that, no squealers or whistles though. They freak me out. I love the color.

Friday, June 30, 2006

SPF Friday--Shaun style

Hi everyone! Time for SPF, which was quite a challenge for me this week. Kristine is visiting her momma so her bohunk in waiting Shaun has the ideas for SPF:

1. Something with a story behind it.
2. Random and Odd photo that your readers must caption!
3. (keeping with the wedding theme) Something borrowed.

So though I am having major anxiety today (pains in my body that should not be) I am just going to try to use some pictures from my old stash:

1. Something with a story behind it.

I absolutely do not have story telling abilities, and don't most pictures have stories behind them anyway? This pic was taken in 2003 on the Lake of the Ozarks. We had gone there with my parents for a few days. No sooner than 10 minutes after this picture was taken, a tremendous thunderstorm overtook us and we nearly sank. We all sat curled in a ball on the floor while LP tried to navigate us back to shore. It was very scary, and AL just sat saying the "Our Father" over and over again. We have since called my parents the Griswolds, because growing up on vacations our family always ended up having some sort of mishap, and apparently the two of them have carried that on with them in spirit.

2. Random and Odd photo--readers caption!

3. Something borrowed:

I just love me some Jerri Blank. So here's a picture I borrowed from the internet, in honor of her movie coming out this week. Unfortunately for me in the Midwest it does not open around here (and in only ONE theater!) until the 14th, but you bitches in NY and LA can already see it!

Okay, so that's my lame ass attempt at SPF this week, at least I played!

Did YOU play???!?!?!?!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

A meme about me, myself and I: (borrowed from Shellibells who stole it from Smoochdog)

I know ~ better.
I fought ~ with low self esteem for way too long.
I am angered ~ by people who judge too quickly. And most of the time my in-laws.
I love ~ with everything that i am!
I need ~ time for myself.
I take ~ too few trips to visit my parents.
I hear ~ my kids playing DDR in the basement.
I drink ~ lots and lots of water.
I hate ~ to use the word hate.
I use ~ my email too often for communication.
I want ~ people to appreciate me.
I decided ~ a long time ago not to put up with people's meanness.
I like ~ peanut butter, duh!
I am ~ more than what most people see me as.
I feel ~ anxious about being pregnant
I left ~ college not knowing what I was going to do next.
I do ~ think
I hope ~ I always have a great relationship with my kids.
I dream ~ of always learning new things.
I drive ~ my kids everywhere.
I listen ~ to music all the time.
I type ~ realllly really fast.
I think ~ most people just want to be accepted.
I wish ~ I knew more about art.
I compensate ~ my children with things I never had growing up.
I regret ~ being so shy.
I care ~ if people like me
I should ~ not be so critical of myself.
I am not always ~ comfortable around strangers
I said ~ things that I should not have.
I wonder ~ what my dad would be like if his dad had lived.
I changed ~ my outlook to be more positive.
I cry ~ very little. It takes a lot.
I am ~ a mother, a friend, a daughter, a thinker, a dreamer and a blogger!!
I am not ~ who you think I am.
I lose ~ my patience with stupidity.
I leave ~ you with my favorite poem in the world:

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

Invictus, Wiliam Ernest Henley

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

And the winner is.....

It looks as though we are bringing yet ANOTHER female into this brood of ours. And I could not be happier. ELATED would be my feelings on the subject. I would not know what to do with a boy.

However, why do I get the feeling that people will act disappointed when I tell them? Like somehow we have let them down by not producing a man to carry on the family name?


When I told ONE of my in-laws already (I'm sure I'll get the same from the other side) the first thing they said was, "BUT WHERE IS MY GRANDSON?"

Well apparently he was lost and someone decided we should be an all pink household. Geebus! What the hell is wrong with people?? And then they make fun of my husband for not being able to make 'one with a stinger'?? WTF!!

Anyhoodilee doodilee.

Ultrasound machines have reallllllly improved since last time I had one, and I could see everything. I slept much better last night. All of her fingers and toes, and her heart and stomach, and even a few times her precious little face. Unbelievable. Last time I had an ultrasound it vaguely looked like a vertebrate. I have pictures, and I will try to scan them if I can. It was just so cool. I bow to the person who invented that machine, and even to the sonographer who snapped her gum the entire time.

The girls were there too, and got to see everything. They were so excited to have a sister, and could not believe they could see her spine.

So now the next fight begins. We secured a boy name. What will this baby be named??!?!? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! But I have to warn you, I am firmly against the names Oprah, Apple, or Scout. Just ain't gonna happen. Or Snowball.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Well last night Kristine's bridal shower was a BLAST. I met some new people (for even MORE blogs to read!) and had a great time. Unfortunately my preggo body could no longer hold up and I had to go to sleep...well at least that is what I TOLD them anyway! Hee hee...LP was waiting, and I have such a *pure* impression no one knew any different. BWAHAHAHAHA.

But anyway, it was great being able to talk about porn, sex, snowballing and strip bingo with the likes of those women. It was a grand time.

Today I have my FIRST ULTRASOUND at 2:00 p.m. today! Wish me lots of luck!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Birthday partay

Now that I have a little more time and a little more energy I can talk about Al's 9th birthday. On Friday we took her to Six Flags for the day, and she rode the Ninja for the first time. It was a great time, although I shall never recommend being preggers and going there.

On Saturday we had 11 (yes I'm a total nutjob) of her friends over for a "High School Musical" sleepover. My original idea for her birthday was to do a scavenger hunt, but apparently none of the malls around here ALLOW them, so I had to nix that idea. I thought of doing a neighborhood one, but we live in an older neighborhood and I certainly would not want to interrupt anyone's daily viewing of "Matlock" to go find a colored toothpick.

My sister-in-law made these really cool iPod cakes, made from brownies:

We played two games similar to 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey' but instead it was Put the Word Bubble on Sharpay's face. I then put different colored lipsticks on all of them and had them Kiss the Troy poster. Oh yeah, lots of prepubescent fun. We also played High School Musical trivia, and the last game of the evening was Find the Gum...I placed a piece of bubble gum on a plate and covered it completely with whipped cream, with no hands they had to find the gum and first one to blow a bubble won. The kids had a blast. We ended the evening with of course, a showing of the movie itself, and I had to go upstairs because I could not bear hearing 12 girls sing "We're sooooooarrring....flllllyyyyinnnnngg...." for longer than a minute.

Al had a blast, and I should have known better. I have no comments yet on the whole family birthday debacle, but just believe that I am SPENT.

But it is so worth it! FOR THIS:

and p.s. yes those are SBC balloons, shhhhhh!!!!!!!


Oh and one more thing, I will be attending the Virtual Bridal Shower of Kristine and Shaun tonight, hope to see you there! It should be a great time!

*oh and one more thing. Hello...guess WHO made the winning goal for England???!? Ohhh yeah.*

(and I know, LP even said he sounds like a leprechaun. Whatev.)


I knew this past week would be a doozy, but I did not think I'd be gone so long. This week looks to be much calmer. I should have blogged, I really should have. I am neglecting it. Soon the blogger police will come and revoke my blogging license I just know it.

It was my oldest one's 9th birthday this past week, so I've been consumed by that. I had 11 other 9 year old girls in my house by CHOICE Saturday night for her birthday sleepover, and as wonderful as it went, I am worn out. Yesterday we had the grandparents/family over for her birthday, and a slight incident involving yelling and stomping off (NOT the children) topped off quite a weekend.

I need a little while for all of it to sink in!!

Monday, June 19, 2006

yet another!

Add to the list of my favorite things:

Celebrity Dance Offs!!!!!!!

Father FIgure

When I was 4, my dad got into the inflatable jumpy-thingee with me.

When I was six, he held me down while they had to put stitches in my foot.

When I was 10, he taught me all there was to know about Lewis and Clark and then some!

When I was 12, he helped me build the Grand Prize winning science project.

When I was 14, he tried all he could to help me understand algebra (nice try, Dad, but it still hasn't stuck).

When I was 16 he played referee between me and my mom.

When I was 20, he walked with me and put his arm around me while I cried over a boy.

When I was 23, he walked me down the aisle.

When I was 24 I made him a Grandpa.

He is not perfect....the most romantic gift he ever gave my mother was a quilt rack, and he spent more of his time on his teaching job than he did us a lot of the times...but I knew grewing up that I would be lucky if I could find a man half of what he was to be the father of my kids.

My dad is techno-afraid to a fault. He still cannot figure out the call waiting on the telephone. So I know there will never be a day when he will even read my blog.

But with all the things that have happened this past week, and how tired he looked yesterday at our Father's Day BBQ, I hope he knows that I love him more than Lewis probably got tired of hearing Clark snore.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

Thursday, June 15, 2006


i'm lost.

today the greatest thing that happened was being on my deck and watching my daughter catch fireflies.

after she caught at least 9 or 10, she showed them to me, then let them go.

One by one.

And with each one flying away, she named them and said goodbye.

"Goodbye Alexis."

"Goodbye Ryan."

"Goodbye Sarah."

She and her sister are the lights that keep me burning.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

disappearing act

Blogger is so weird
My words always disappear
best just to haiku!

Futbal has been very very good to me

The World Cup is very....


*hoo my*

Friday, June 09, 2006

SPF: This week Kristine is taking us on a photographer's journey...well, since I'm still learning (I've got books from the library and everything!) I've chosen to use old pictures already on my computer today. It's lame I know but at least I played!

1. Wide open spaces
2. Brightness
3. Darkness

1. Wide open space: Not that wide but definitely open. This was taken last year at the beginning of the Susan Komen Race for the Cure from atop my husband's car garage (he doesn't own it of course, it's where he parks every day!) I think it's breathtaking all the people supporting the cause.

2. Brightness: This was the toughest one, since I didn't want to be cheezy and give you YET another picture of my here is a picture that LP took with my other camera, I just like this picture for some reason.

3: Darkness: Here's LP at night at Disney World being attacked by a Lego dinosaur.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Just rattling on here.

Last night I woke up in a cold sweat after having a bad dream. After waking up though, I was more confused than ever because I realized the guy in my dream was the coach from the movie "Heaven Can Wait". Two problems with that: 1. I've never seen "Heaven Can Wait". 2. The only knowledge I have of the movie is from Mad magazine. So where did he come from? Well, at any rate, he was trying to steal our Christmas decorations, for reasons unknown.

Al started swim team again yesterday. She loved it last year, but she's way out of shape. Her first meet is in two weeks. She is a pro at the backstroke. Her mother can barely doggy paddle.

Got the septic tank pumped yesterday. $160 worth of shit! Good times, good times.

I also got my haircut yesterday, and told my hairdresser (*is this the proper term? Beautician? Hair stylist? What is it these days so I don't sound like my grandmother?*) I'm making an appointment with her every month of my pregnancy. It just feels SO good getting my hair done.

IS there such a thing as pre-partum depression? I do not ever recall feeling this crappy with my other pregnancies. I can't seem to feel good lately. Maybe I need to change those hair appointments to weekly. And I'm still going to sleep every night at 7 p.m. That is not right.

See it's pretty obvious I have little to say today. Go to Kristine's site and follow the story about the stolen Sidekick. It's pretty funny.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Laws of Marriage

There are some things that go along with marriage that you cannot deny. Because you've met this wonderful person, you have to take along with him/her ALL that they are. Including the good, things you learn that make you love them even more, but also the bad, or at most, slightly annoying. Snoring, for one, is something you will agree to take on because you love that person. Some people have obsessions to deal with, whether it is golfing, or fishing, or some sort of activity (LP is pretty good about this, his only 'activity' is working out, which has a lovely side effect of him being hunkalicious, so I *sigh* just put up with it.) Or it could be that he has to be paid a lot of attention to at the airport because of a past incident in his childhood (I'm speaking hypothetically....of course). You live with these things, because said activities and baggage are what make up the person you fell in love with.

But when you marry your spouse, there is one thing you take a huge gamble with.

Your future in-laws.

You could win the jackpot, and have great in-laws who don't intrude or do 'drop bys' or who offer to take you shopping and out to lunch and get along great with your own parents.

OR you could have in-laws who are snoopy and judge every move you make and complain about you and will have nothing to do with your parents and who are just smug, smug, smug.

Oh and spiteful. And bitter. And who give you a hard time EVERY stinkin' holiday.

I'm just sayin.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

call me Addict

I tried to go ONE DAY without my Phenergan, my lover, my throwing-up subsider, and look what happened. I threw up ALL day today. I will never foresake you again, my dear.

I thought that with the return of my nausea, I thought I'd post this list again, just in case some husbands think the floodgates are open as soon as your wife starts to feeling better. Just because I feel a little better does not mean you'll be getting dinner tonight. Whatever. Go order Chinese. And while you're up, get me something to drink.

The Top 16 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."
"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"
"I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
"Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"
"Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
"Got milk?"
"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

TopFive's Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...
"You don't have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass."

Friday, June 02, 2006

spf-sumthing sumthing

Well I fell asleep last night at 7 p.m. so I woke up bright and early...only to find my camera batteries died. BUT I was able to recover and find some new batteries and complete today's project, brought to us, as always, but the almost married Kristine.

Today's assignment:

1. Something sparkly
2. Something dull
3. Something colorful

Something sparkly: An easy one, what with a house with two girls in it!

Something dull: But will soon have the perfect picture hanging here, thanks to Al:

3. Something colorful: Al's dress, not even remotely a Pucci:

Did you play?