Friday, June 30, 2006

SPF Friday--Shaun style

Hi everyone! Time for SPF, which was quite a challenge for me this week. Kristine is visiting her momma so her bohunk in waiting Shaun has the ideas for SPF:

1. Something with a story behind it.
2. Random and Odd photo that your readers must caption!
3. (keeping with the wedding theme) Something borrowed.

So though I am having major anxiety today (pains in my body that should not be) I am just going to try to use some pictures from my old stash:

1. Something with a story behind it.

I absolutely do not have story telling abilities, and don't most pictures have stories behind them anyway? This pic was taken in 2003 on the Lake of the Ozarks. We had gone there with my parents for a few days. No sooner than 10 minutes after this picture was taken, a tremendous thunderstorm overtook us and we nearly sank. We all sat curled in a ball on the floor while LP tried to navigate us back to shore. It was very scary, and AL just sat saying the "Our Father" over and over again. We have since called my parents the Griswolds, because growing up on vacations our family always ended up having some sort of mishap, and apparently the two of them have carried that on with them in spirit.

2. Random and Odd photo--readers caption!

3. Something borrowed:

I just love me some Jerri Blank. So here's a picture I borrowed from the internet, in honor of her movie coming out this week. Unfortunately for me in the Midwest it does not open around here (and in only ONE theater!) until the 14th, but you bitches in NY and LA can already see it!

Okay, so that's my lame ass attempt at SPF this week, at least I played!

Did YOU play???!?!?!?!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

A meme about me, myself and I: (borrowed from Shellibells who stole it from Smoochdog)

I know ~ better.
I fought ~ with low self esteem for way too long.
I am angered ~ by people who judge too quickly. And most of the time my in-laws.
I love ~ with everything that i am!
I need ~ time for myself.
I take ~ too few trips to visit my parents.
I hear ~ my kids playing DDR in the basement.
I drink ~ lots and lots of water.
I hate ~ to use the word hate.
I use ~ my email too often for communication.
I want ~ people to appreciate me.
I decided ~ a long time ago not to put up with people's meanness.
I like ~ peanut butter, duh!
I am ~ more than what most people see me as.
I feel ~ anxious about being pregnant
I left ~ college not knowing what I was going to do next.
I do ~ think
I hope ~ I always have a great relationship with my kids.
I dream ~ of always learning new things.
I drive ~ my kids everywhere.
I listen ~ to music all the time.
I type ~ realllly really fast.
I think ~ most people just want to be accepted.
I wish ~ I knew more about art.
I compensate ~ my children with things I never had growing up.
I regret ~ being so shy.
I care ~ if people like me
I should ~ not be so critical of myself.
I am not always ~ comfortable around strangers
I said ~ things that I should not have.
I wonder ~ what my dad would be like if his dad had lived.
I changed ~ my outlook to be more positive.
I cry ~ very little. It takes a lot.
I am ~ a mother, a friend, a daughter, a thinker, a dreamer and a blogger!!
I am not ~ who you think I am.
I lose ~ my patience with stupidity.
I leave ~ you with my favorite poem in the world:

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

Invictus, Wiliam Ernest Henley

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

And the winner is.....

It looks as though we are bringing yet ANOTHER female into this brood of ours. And I could not be happier. ELATED would be my feelings on the subject. I would not know what to do with a boy.

However, why do I get the feeling that people will act disappointed when I tell them? Like somehow we have let them down by not producing a man to carry on the family name?


When I told ONE of my in-laws already (I'm sure I'll get the same from the other side) the first thing they said was, "BUT WHERE IS MY GRANDSON?"

Well apparently he was lost and someone decided we should be an all pink household. Geebus! What the hell is wrong with people?? And then they make fun of my husband for not being able to make 'one with a stinger'?? WTF!!

Anyhoodilee doodilee.

Ultrasound machines have reallllllly improved since last time I had one, and I could see everything. I slept much better last night. All of her fingers and toes, and her heart and stomach, and even a few times her precious little face. Unbelievable. Last time I had an ultrasound it vaguely looked like a vertebrate. I have pictures, and I will try to scan them if I can. It was just so cool. I bow to the person who invented that machine, and even to the sonographer who snapped her gum the entire time.

The girls were there too, and got to see everything. They were so excited to have a sister, and could not believe they could see her spine.

So now the next fight begins. We secured a boy name. What will this baby be named??!?!? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! But I have to warn you, I am firmly against the names Oprah, Apple, or Scout. Just ain't gonna happen. Or Snowball.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Well last night Kristine's bridal shower was a BLAST. I met some new people (for even MORE blogs to read!) and had a great time. Unfortunately my preggo body could no longer hold up and I had to go to sleep...well at least that is what I TOLD them anyway! Hee hee...LP was waiting, and I have such a *pure* impression no one knew any different. BWAHAHAHAHA.

But anyway, it was great being able to talk about porn, sex, snowballing and strip bingo with the likes of those women. It was a grand time.

Today I have my FIRST ULTRASOUND at 2:00 p.m. today! Wish me lots of luck!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Birthday partay

Now that I have a little more time and a little more energy I can talk about Al's 9th birthday. On Friday we took her to Six Flags for the day, and she rode the Ninja for the first time. It was a great time, although I shall never recommend being preggers and going there.

On Saturday we had 11 (yes I'm a total nutjob) of her friends over for a "High School Musical" sleepover. My original idea for her birthday was to do a scavenger hunt, but apparently none of the malls around here ALLOW them, so I had to nix that idea. I thought of doing a neighborhood one, but we live in an older neighborhood and I certainly would not want to interrupt anyone's daily viewing of "Matlock" to go find a colored toothpick.

My sister-in-law made these really cool iPod cakes, made from brownies:

We played two games similar to 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey' but instead it was Put the Word Bubble on Sharpay's face. I then put different colored lipsticks on all of them and had them Kiss the Troy poster. Oh yeah, lots of prepubescent fun. We also played High School Musical trivia, and the last game of the evening was Find the Gum...I placed a piece of bubble gum on a plate and covered it completely with whipped cream, with no hands they had to find the gum and first one to blow a bubble won. The kids had a blast. We ended the evening with of course, a showing of the movie itself, and I had to go upstairs because I could not bear hearing 12 girls sing "We're sooooooarrring....flllllyyyyinnnnngg...." for longer than a minute.

Al had a blast, and I should have known better. I have no comments yet on the whole family birthday debacle, but just believe that I am SPENT.

But it is so worth it! FOR THIS:

and p.s. yes those are SBC balloons, shhhhhh!!!!!!!


Oh and one more thing, I will be attending the Virtual Bridal Shower of Kristine and Shaun tonight, hope to see you there! It should be a great time!

*oh and one more thing. Hello...guess WHO made the winning goal for England???!? Ohhh yeah.*

(and I know, LP even said he sounds like a leprechaun. Whatev.)


I knew this past week would be a doozy, but I did not think I'd be gone so long. This week looks to be much calmer. I should have blogged, I really should have. I am neglecting it. Soon the blogger police will come and revoke my blogging license I just know it.

It was my oldest one's 9th birthday this past week, so I've been consumed by that. I had 11 other 9 year old girls in my house by CHOICE Saturday night for her birthday sleepover, and as wonderful as it went, I am worn out. Yesterday we had the grandparents/family over for her birthday, and a slight incident involving yelling and stomping off (NOT the children) topped off quite a weekend.

I need a little while for all of it to sink in!!

Monday, June 19, 2006

yet another!

Add to the list of my favorite things:

Celebrity Dance Offs!!!!!!!

Father FIgure

When I was 4, my dad got into the inflatable jumpy-thingee with me.

When I was six, he held me down while they had to put stitches in my foot.

When I was 10, he taught me all there was to know about Lewis and Clark and then some!

When I was 12, he helped me build the Grand Prize winning science project.

When I was 14, he tried all he could to help me understand algebra (nice try, Dad, but it still hasn't stuck).

When I was 16 he played referee between me and my mom.

When I was 20, he walked with me and put his arm around me while I cried over a boy.

When I was 23, he walked me down the aisle.

When I was 24 I made him a Grandpa.

He is not perfect....the most romantic gift he ever gave my mother was a quilt rack, and he spent more of his time on his teaching job than he did us a lot of the times...but I knew grewing up that I would be lucky if I could find a man half of what he was to be the father of my kids.

My dad is techno-afraid to a fault. He still cannot figure out the call waiting on the telephone. So I know there will never be a day when he will even read my blog.

But with all the things that have happened this past week, and how tired he looked yesterday at our Father's Day BBQ, I hope he knows that I love him more than Lewis probably got tired of hearing Clark snore.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

Thursday, June 15, 2006


i'm lost.

today the greatest thing that happened was being on my deck and watching my daughter catch fireflies.

after she caught at least 9 or 10, she showed them to me, then let them go.

One by one.

And with each one flying away, she named them and said goodbye.

"Goodbye Alexis."

"Goodbye Ryan."

"Goodbye Sarah."

She and her sister are the lights that keep me burning.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

disappearing act

Blogger is so weird
My words always disappear
best just to haiku!

Futbal has been very very good to me

The World Cup is very....


*hoo my*

Friday, June 09, 2006

SPF: This week Kristine is taking us on a photographer's journey...well, since I'm still learning (I've got books from the library and everything!) I've chosen to use old pictures already on my computer today. It's lame I know but at least I played!

1. Wide open spaces
2. Brightness
3. Darkness

1. Wide open space: Not that wide but definitely open. This was taken last year at the beginning of the Susan Komen Race for the Cure from atop my husband's car garage (he doesn't own it of course, it's where he parks every day!) I think it's breathtaking all the people supporting the cause.

2. Brightness: This was the toughest one, since I didn't want to be cheezy and give you YET another picture of my here is a picture that LP took with my other camera, I just like this picture for some reason.

3: Darkness: Here's LP at night at Disney World being attacked by a Lego dinosaur.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Just rattling on here.

Last night I woke up in a cold sweat after having a bad dream. After waking up though, I was more confused than ever because I realized the guy in my dream was the coach from the movie "Heaven Can Wait". Two problems with that: 1. I've never seen "Heaven Can Wait". 2. The only knowledge I have of the movie is from Mad magazine. So where did he come from? Well, at any rate, he was trying to steal our Christmas decorations, for reasons unknown.

Al started swim team again yesterday. She loved it last year, but she's way out of shape. Her first meet is in two weeks. She is a pro at the backstroke. Her mother can barely doggy paddle.

Got the septic tank pumped yesterday. $160 worth of shit! Good times, good times.

I also got my haircut yesterday, and told my hairdresser (*is this the proper term? Beautician? Hair stylist? What is it these days so I don't sound like my grandmother?*) I'm making an appointment with her every month of my pregnancy. It just feels SO good getting my hair done.

IS there such a thing as pre-partum depression? I do not ever recall feeling this crappy with my other pregnancies. I can't seem to feel good lately. Maybe I need to change those hair appointments to weekly. And I'm still going to sleep every night at 7 p.m. That is not right.

See it's pretty obvious I have little to say today. Go to Kristine's site and follow the story about the stolen Sidekick. It's pretty funny.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Laws of Marriage

There are some things that go along with marriage that you cannot deny. Because you've met this wonderful person, you have to take along with him/her ALL that they are. Including the good, things you learn that make you love them even more, but also the bad, or at most, slightly annoying. Snoring, for one, is something you will agree to take on because you love that person. Some people have obsessions to deal with, whether it is golfing, or fishing, or some sort of activity (LP is pretty good about this, his only 'activity' is working out, which has a lovely side effect of him being hunkalicious, so I *sigh* just put up with it.) Or it could be that he has to be paid a lot of attention to at the airport because of a past incident in his childhood (I'm speaking hypothetically....of course). You live with these things, because said activities and baggage are what make up the person you fell in love with.

But when you marry your spouse, there is one thing you take a huge gamble with.

Your future in-laws.

You could win the jackpot, and have great in-laws who don't intrude or do 'drop bys' or who offer to take you shopping and out to lunch and get along great with your own parents.

OR you could have in-laws who are snoopy and judge every move you make and complain about you and will have nothing to do with your parents and who are just smug, smug, smug.

Oh and spiteful. And bitter. And who give you a hard time EVERY stinkin' holiday.

I'm just sayin.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

call me Addict

I tried to go ONE DAY without my Phenergan, my lover, my throwing-up subsider, and look what happened. I threw up ALL day today. I will never foresake you again, my dear.

I thought that with the return of my nausea, I thought I'd post this list again, just in case some husbands think the floodgates are open as soon as your wife starts to feeling better. Just because I feel a little better does not mean you'll be getting dinner tonight. Whatever. Go order Chinese. And while you're up, get me something to drink.

The Top 16 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."
"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"
"I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
"Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"
"Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
"Got milk?"
"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

TopFive's Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...
"You don't have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass."

Friday, June 02, 2006

spf-sumthing sumthing

Well I fell asleep last night at 7 p.m. so I woke up bright and early...only to find my camera batteries died. BUT I was able to recover and find some new batteries and complete today's project, brought to us, as always, but the almost married Kristine.

Today's assignment:

1. Something sparkly
2. Something dull
3. Something colorful

Something sparkly: An easy one, what with a house with two girls in it!

Something dull: But will soon have the perfect picture hanging here, thanks to Al:

3. Something colorful: Al's dress, not even remotely a Pucci:

Did you play?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Top 5 Jobs I've Held in My Lifetime

5. Janitor in college. I only had to work like 1-2 hours a DAY, it was great. All I had to do was clean up the bathrooms at the gym and then vacuum the boys' basketball locker room. I learned two important things: 1. Girls are WAY grosser than boys. 2. Basketball players really don't care if you accidentally walk in on them naked. They almost enjoy it. (or is that common knowledge?) Oh! And I gained a new nickname, the "JANA-tor." Har de har.

4. Waitress at Ponderosa. My first 'real' job. It wasn't the waitressing, I loathed that, and will forever tip my waitresses plentiful for the crap they have to endure. No, once I was 'promoted' to Salad Girl, that's when the fun started. Who knew refilling chocolate pudding and caesar salad could be so much fun? And hanging out in the freezer with your boyfriend? (who was the fry cook btw, I'm so proud). We'd come home from work smelling MIGHTY nice. Whew!

3. Transcriptionist. What can I say, I love my job. It's so easy. I had just quit my full-time job and had a baby, and one of my friends was transcribing notes for her aunt who was a therapist, and she hated it. I offered to help her out, since I A) love to type and B) have serious social anxiety so what better job to have than working from home? And I was right. I also was doing research notes on an Alzheimer's project, and it was very interesting (and heartbreaking) since my grandma was stricken with the same disease. I went back to school to get my medical certificate and now I have a great job working from home so I can blog when I need to! Woo hoo!

2. Camp secretary/store operator. My senior year in college I went with a friend of mine to work at a girl's summer camp in Minnesota. It was so much fun, and Minnesota is such a beautiful place. Each night after dinner the girls got to go to my 'store' and have snacks, as there was no candy allowed. I also had the task of going through packages to make sure no candy was 'smuggled' and once I found a teddy bear that had been re-sewn STUFFED with candy. Like contraband! I felt like the guy finding the nail file in the cake Pee Wee Herman made for Mickey.

and the number 1 job I've held in my lifetime:

1. Lemonade maker at the County Fair. Ohhhhhhhh, yeah. I do not have any idea how I got this job. Or how someone would let a 10 year old squeeze lemons for lemonade, but that is what I did. And it was the best damn lemonade you ever tasted. I do also remember having the day before played an intense game of "Summer Games" on our Commodore 64, and getting the lemon juice in a cut on my palm. Nice, nothing like having freshly squeezed lemonade made for you by a kid with open sores from playing too many video games. Damn kids these days.