Monday, January 29, 2007

10 Stinkin' Years

More scannin' y'all...
I had one month to plan this wedding. We wanted to get married on Valentine's Day since that was the day we'd met, and it was Christmas when I got my first ultrasound and LP so romantically said to me, "You have GOT to get on my insurance." Hence the rush to complete the nuptials.

I got my dress off the rack at Penny's, as I wanted an empire waist so not to draw attention to my cute ever-growing belly and look way too close to the video for "Keep Your Hands to Yourself".
We got the rings at a store called "Grandpa's" and the flowers were done by Michael's. I was all class, baby.
We were married in front of about a dozen relatives at LP's grandma's church by Brotha Andy.
*(please note this as it is foreshadowing for a future post/whinefest of mine)
We went to my mom's house afterwards to eat cake, open gifts and toast to our future together.

Then we went out to dinner, had chicken of which I proceeded immediately afterwards to rid myself of by projectile vomiting. Good times!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Scanner Say Qua

Remember yesterday how I mentioned LP bought a new printer? Well, not only is it a printer it is also a copier, fax machine and scanner!!

We got rid of our old scanner about 5 years ago, so up until now I've been unable to do any scanning. Don't know why we never got around to buying one, there was just no need I guess.

But NOW! Woot I'm going to be the Scanning Queen, young and sweet only 17....(dah doo dah doo dah doo dah dooooo).

I grabbed the nearest picture and scanned it immediately. I'm so excited now I can participate in "Way Back Wednesday" and finally show the world how cool I was in 1989. Oh, no wait, that's really not going to happen. I was not so cool in 1989. Well, a girl can dream.

Oh, and in other news it is Rug's birthday!! She got two Webkinz for her birthday and was pleased as a peach pie. (Alliteration, all the cool kids do it.) And if your kid does not have a Webkinz, I suggest you go get one. My children are addicted, and so am I. Check it out!

Onto the picture:

Could I be any paler? It reminds me of a quote I heard on "Real Housewives of Orange County" or whatever it's called. The woman was moving to Chicago because she had a history of skin and cancer "there's only sunshine 3 months a year" here in Illinois. WTF??

Happy 7th Birthday Rug!!!!

(taken on her first day of 3 year old preschool, I could cry--but look how tan she is! Those three months of sun sure do make a difference huh.)

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The School Project

The Project: Make a float about a state. Al got California. It is due today of course.

Saturday: "When are we going to start on my project?"
"We'll go tomorrow to get the supplies."

Sunday: "Mommy!"
"Shhh. Mommy went out last night. We'll do it later."

Sunday evening: "Oh shit. The stores are closed."

Monday evening: "Oh shit! The printer broke!"

Last night, the day before it is due:

4:30 p.m.- LP arrives home, to find me desperately trying to apply pipe cleaners onto a shoebox. He tries to cop a feel, I punch him.

5-6 p.m. – Soccer Practice. I stay at home, desperately trying to apply pipe cleaners. Frigging pipe cleaners!

6-6:30 p.m. – Dinner. LP and I stage a "California Fact" Dance Off to see who has the better ideas. Ironically enough we come up with pretty similar facts.

6:40 p.m. - LP decides to go and BUY A NEW PRINTER. Oh I wish I was joking.

6:30-7 p.m. – More pipe cleaner application. To no avail. Wrap the shoebox, apply foam backing that does not stick. A lot of cursing. Rug is getting in the way, still singing High School Musical songs from the concert Monday night.
(*side note* The concert was SO much fun, and the girls had a blast. And Mommy enjoyed the boy who replaced the original Troy, who is busy off shooting a remake of "Hairspray" ***shudder** another frickin remake!)

7-8 p.m. – The new printer is calibrating.

8:10 p.m. – Still calibrating.

8:15 p.m. – Friggin calibrate already!

8:25 p.m. – LP stomps off as I get anxious with him trying to apply text to a picture and he is taking for-ev-er. Hello? We have NOTHING done. The picture can wait!

8:30 p.m. – Divorce proceedings begin.

8:35 p.m. - LP and I are laughing hysterically as we both attempt to provide spellings for 'sequoia'.

8:40 p.m. – Al starts crying because “You and Daddy aren’t taking this seriously and I’m going to FAIL!”

8:50 p.m. – I figure out a way to put those pipe cleaners on. Just shove them in the box!

8:55 p.m. – All the pictures are printed out! Woo hoo!

9:00 p.m. – The Golden Gate Bridge is sagging. Let me rig something up.

9:15 p.m. – One more interesting fact and…..WE ARE DONE!!

Hooooooooly Cow that was a task.

This morning on the way to school the Golden Gate Bridge fell down. I'm sure Fergie will do a song about it.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Just a Quick One

Has anyone noticed how alike 2 month babies are to sloven frat boys? My daughter is sitting here on my lap after her bottle completely wasted as if to say, "Duuuude, I just slammed that, I've gotta crash." Plus she farts a lot.

I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, and blogging has taken a backseat. It seems like a lot of the blogs I used to read are going away as well. I hope I do not have to threaten some of my favorite reads if they too decide to call blogging a defunct pasttime (Mrtl, TKW, Kristine and Kalki--I'm talking to you!). And by threaten I mean threaten to subject them to emails filled with angels and fairies and Neiman Marcus cookie recipes. Beware!

In the meantime, I've booked my flight and hotel for Vega$. We are staying at Bally's and renewing our vows at the Wee Kirk O' The Heather Chapel. I booked it because it sounded Irish, but turns out it's actually Scottish. But what do I care, I'm mostly German anyway.

LP & I have decided to walk down the aisle to the Wedding March from Flash Gordon and leave to "Welcome to the Jungle". It only seems appropriate.

I'm really excited, as LP & I have never been to Vegas and we have an entourage of about 12 other people going with us. LP & I do not gamble, but we do engage in other risky businesses so we plan on having a great time.

10 years is a long time to be married, I don't care who ya are. And considering that 10 years ago I was 4 months pregnant, I think it's cause for celebration--especially because 50% of our wedding guests did not give us very good chances of us making it past one year. Yet here we are, with a 2 month old to boot!! (not that I would boot her, she's pretty cute.)

Speaking of, my camera is working fine but the software to download pictures is on the fritz, that is why no recent picture of Miss M. But trust me she is growing too fast already!

Well if anyone has good Vegas advice, please fill me in. And no we will not be needing any coupons for the "Chicken Ranch" thankyouverymuch.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Making Me Laugh

Rug telling me that since her friend, Antoinette, has such a difficult name to pronounce, she decided to just call her Aunt Tuna.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

I've Got Something to Say!*

Lots of thoughts are running in my head but I must gather them and organize them first before I spill them out for all to see. So in the future you will get to hear:

* how I spent my New Year's (not real exciting but whatever)
* How I'm going to lose my baby weight and then some
* All about our forthcoming trip to Las Vegas
* What to do for Mardi Gras this year
* How things are going with Miss M
* Soccer, basketball, priests and $800 (they all connect, I assure you)
* What happens when you put a 6-year-old on an electric scooter and point her towards the Christmas Tree

But in the meantime, I have to share two articles I have read this morning that so accurately depict my feelings on things, I almost jumped into my computer screen to hump each one of the authors. There, that should give you a nice mental image huh.

First of all, over at Kami's I got to read a speech by one Mr. Keith Olbermann. I was at more than one party over Christmas (because I'm a partying fool now that I can drink Blue Moons) in which more than one discussion/argument/donnybrook insued regarding the War in Iraq. Keith eloquently explains my feelings on the subject, and I thank him for that, and invite him to the next party I go to. But he has to bring the artichoke dip.

This morning, LP sent me a link to our favorite ESPN writer's article on Mark McGwire, and why he should be inducted into the Hall of Fame. As a Cardinals fan, this issue especially hits home for me (pun sadly and poorly intended). He is so right on when he describes the feeling after the baseball strike, and how Mark & Sammy reignited our love for baseball. We took Al to see him & the Cards in June 1998 on her 1 year birthday, and although he didn't hit a homer that day, you could just feel the excitement when he was up to bat. Do I think he cheated? Well, sort of. But I think the media has cheated him more. I'd vote for him, only if it's because I was there in 1998 and I remember the feeling I got watching him hit that home run to beat Maris' record, and just like Sports Guy says, THAT is what Cooperstown is about. Hell, it's what's baseball is about. And for all of you Chevrolet-loving, John Cougar-loving, My-country loving people out there, it's what America is about.

Alright people! Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.