Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Pie Misunderstanding

LP tends to use old euphemisms and phrases that you would normally hear coming from an 85-year-old man who spent his life working on a farm. I call these his curmudgeon-isms. The girls and I are all used to it, and it is not unlikely you will hear my 6-year-old say, "Well, six in one hand, half dozen in the other." LP prides himself on these, and sometimes even attempts to make new ones up, causing us all to groan because they are usually pretty pathetic. This is a man who still calls the freezer an 'icebox' and exclaims, "What in tarnation?"

Every now and then, he hears someone yapping and will tell them, "Shut your piehole." Now, he never says this in anger, just usually when Dubya is on TV or when Rug is trying to plead her case when she is up on charges given by her sister that she swung the cat around by her front legs.

The other day, LP, Rug and Al were driving in the car (I'm assuming I was still in the hospital). Apparently the road got very bumpy.

Rug says, "Oh Daddy, this road is so bumpy it's making my piehole feel funny!"

He turned around and said, "What? Why would it make your piehole feel funny?"

She replied, "Well, isn't your piehole your privates?"

LP was silent for a second. "Uh, no it's your MOUTH. Where you would put pi...I am NOT having this conversation with you!"

So all this time Rug thought her piehole was something altogether different. Great, where on earth did she learn that?? The last thing I need is my 1st grader referring to her special purpose as PIE. I've got to pay closer attention to what is going on around here!

I am very interested as to what her idea of shutting her piehole meant.

No wait. I'm really not.

*(the picture is of my neighbor's yard after the ice storm)


Kathy said...

Hahahaha,,, thanks for the laugh, I have tears in my eyes. That was so adorable, just precious.

The Odd Mix said...

I am laughing my piehole off!

the_kept_woman said...

LOL...piehole does sound dirty, I'll admit it.

My favorite "curmudgeon-isms" of all times are "That dog don't hunt" (that's not gonna work) and "Now that's diggin' where there's taters!" (now you've got it!)....and am I ever gonna feel stupid if I'm misinterrpreting (holy crap is that spelled wrong) those...

Vajana said...

Kathy: Oh yes, Rug brings tears to our eyes all the time...but usually because she's said something awful!!

Odd: What in tarnation!

TKW: I can honestly say I've not heard of any of those. I'll have to document LP's curmudgeonisms, there are plenty to go around. His favorites are of the "two sandwiches short of a picnic" genre, but he always puts a personal spin on them.

Mama J said...

oh my god that is tooo funny... I just can imagine( well not literally) what rug was thinking..
Oh kids are fun.
that is a moment never to be forgotten.
lets just visit Tranation shall we?
Does he enjoy westren's?? because in all honesty that is the only place I have EVER heard that....
dag nam it!

kalki said...


Only last year did I hear the "six in one hand, half dozen in the other" phrase. Now I say it all the time - it just comes in so handy!