Monday, April 18, 2005

Liar Liar

Where the hell is that parenting handbook that shows you how to lie to your kids?? I totally did not sign up for this when I decided to procreate.

Al has a loose tooth, and yesterday I noticed the gums around it were red. I took her to the dentist, and he proceeds to tell me nonchalantly, which I'm sure is totally unintentional because after all, he is a dentist, that he has to pull her top 4 teeth.

GAH!!!! WHAT???

What the hell is it with the Qua family and dental horrors lately? Geez!

So, he explains all this to me, I pay for the visit and put my best "white picket fence happy Mom" face and walk to the car, knowing exactly what is coming next.


"Yes sweetheart?" (smiling, my teeth as white as the pearls I'm wearing that match my apron and heels)

"Is it going to hurt?"

Now, this is SO important. I cannot hesitate, because that would instantly send a red flag up to her. Nor can I say, "God yeah Al it's going to hurt like a mother. Glad I'm not you." But I do not want to LIE to her and say, "No, not at all! Bread puddin', babe." Knowing full well that in a week, this dentist will be hovering over her with pliers and gadgets that should not exist plotting to tear solid parts of her mouth out without a second thought.

So I just told her, completely avoiding the question, that this would be a great time for her to work on her "Hillbilly Moment" skit from the Amanda show.

I do not feel like I waffled on that one a bit.

Boy do I feel like a politician.


Circus Kelli said...

Oh no... poor Alex, and poor Jana! I had some really awful teeth-pulling moments when I was a kid. I can completely sympathize with Alex, and you!

I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing in those types of situations, and, if Hubby is around, I look to him to answer the question (yep, completely the coward's way out).

Is there a way they can put her out for a bit? So she can just go to sleep and wake up and it's all over? Then, all she might have is a dull ache.

Ugh, I hate teeth issues.

I think you did just fine, Jana.

Vajana said...

I can't see how they won't put her out, they have to! I think that will freak her out more than the pulling of them, the SHOTS. Ugh, I hate this. And right before we go to Disney, I'm gonna have this cute little toothless smile!!

Circus Kelli said...

Yeah, see, I thought about that. I had some mighty big teeth when I was a kid, and now Punkin has inherited them. Poor thing.

If it was her asking if it would hurt, I would say, "Well not too much. They'll numb you up so you can't feel anything..." and that's when I would realize HOW they would numb her... Punkin HATES shots. HATES them. They'd have to put her out just to give her the shots to numb her.

When I was a kid, the dentist didn't put me out to pull my teeth. There was no actual pain, but the dentist was a *doo-doo head*.

At least you have DISNEYLAND to have her look forward to.

She'll do fine. Maybe it would help if you could hold her hand until she fell asleep.