They say King Midas turned everything into gold that he touched.
Well I should be named Queen Mi-ghtnotwanthertotouchthatcuzitsgonnabreak. Everything that I come across tends to break, crack, get stained, stall, puncture, or die. I am not the Grim Reaper so much, I'm just incapable of keeping it together.
Plants have no chance.
I've gone through more Sony Walkmans than a teenager in study hall.
White shirts will emerge from the laundry with unknown stains on them.
I dropped a cordless phone into the dishwater the DAY WE BOUGHT IT.
If there is a nail on the road, you bet I will seek it out like a missle and run over it.
This week I slammed the microwave oven door too hard, now it won't close.
I turned on the vacuum this morning, it started to smoke.
So, it is no surprise that I broke the navigational CD that goes to our new KSHE van.
And as it is no surprise, it will cost $200 to replace it.
Happy Friggin' Mother's day to me.
Queen of the Klutzes.