gold

They say King Midas turned everything into gold that he touched.

Well I should be named Queen Mi-ghtnotwanthertotouchthatcuzitsgonnabreak. Everything that I come across tends to break, crack, get stained, stall, puncture, or die. I am not the Grim Reaper so much, I'm just incapable of keeping it together.

Plants have no chance.

I've gone through more Sony Walkmans than a teenager in study hall.

White shirts will emerge from the laundry with unknown stains on them.

I dropped a cordless phone into the dishwater the DAY WE BOUGHT IT.

If there is a nail on the road, you bet I will seek it out like a missle and run over it.

This week I slammed the microwave oven door too hard, now it won't close.

I turned on the vacuum this morning, it started to smoke.

So, it is no surprise that I broke the navigational CD that goes to our new KSHE van.

And as it is no surprise, it will cost $200 to replace it.

Happy Friggin' Mother's day to me.

Queen of the Klutzes.