I have suffered from an affliction for several years now, and no cure seems to be in sight. I am talking about Foot-in-Mouth Disease, which is no relation to Hand, Foot and Mouth disease.
This is why I'm awful at small talk. I can say something innocently enough, and it turns out to be a royal social disaster.
Three cases in point:
1)Once I worked at a high school as a drug counselor, and was hired at the start of the school year. Upon discussing a juvenile client, I stated that "when I mentioned his drug problem he almost had an aneurysm." while talking to the vice principal.
Guess who had just had a brain aneurysm six months before? The vice principal.
2) Down at the gym, I was discussing with Amy the new elliptical trainers the gym had gotten, stating that the trainers down at a different gym I frequented were smoother and nicer.
Guess whose husband supplied all the new elliptical trainers for the gym? Amy's.
3) Here's an odd one: While meeting an older acquaintance of an in-law, we were discussing my kids and how wonderful grandkids were. I said, "I've heard grandchildren are a reward for not killing your own children!" Totally in jest.
Guess what? The guy's son had just been jailed. For killing his child. Well, I don't feel too bad about that one, what the heck was that all about?
Anyway, my point is, it is a problem for me! Usually I don't care and it's good to laugh at later, but at the time, in the moment, it's what my daughter would call "Awww-kward!!"
My greatest blunder, however, will go down in infamy:
My very good friend, we will call her Red, had a seemingly wonderful marriage. She and, we will say, Ted, were married for some time when one day she and I went to the mall. Upon returning from our trip, we found Ted wandering the streets. Red pulled up along side, and Ted remarked he was 'thinking'. Ok, whatever.
Only a few days later, Red calls to tell me Ted wants a divorce, that he is not happy. Now, this is seriously coming from NOWHERE. So she cries a bit, but she is a very strong woman, and asks me to come over to help her unpack her stuff to move out.
Well, I go over to their house, and we are actually having fun. Red has come to terms with it, and we are blasting the Bay City Rollers and getting the heck outta dodge. Nothing is sacred.
While cleaning out one of the drawers in the hallway, I found some 'exotic massage oils' and thought I would make light of the situation. (of course, you see where this is going, right? Stupid!)
"Hey, Red, guess you won't be wanting to take these along, huh? Ha ha."
Red takes a close look. "Um, Vajay-jay? Yeah, those ain't mine."
Ohhhhhhhhhhhshit.
One call to Ted and the exotic massage oil is hitting the fan.
So he fesses, and he has been sleeping with a co-worker for weeks now! Yikes! Ted comes back, they fight, she stomps out the door while I wait in the car, shaking my head, wondering what I was thinking. She remembered she wanted something else, and goes back in...only to discover he'd locked the door...so she PUNCHES the glass window to open the door.
I end up taking her to the emergency room, having succeeded in giving her 12 stitches in her hand.
Now THAT my friends, is a bad case.
But...I must say, Red recovered wonderfully and is now married to a super hot, super great guy she met, of all places, on the Internet.
Guess I can take my foot outta my mouth on that one...but I'd better make sure they are clean for the next time...which I'm sure will be soon!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Shine on You Crazy Diamond
When I was in junior high school, my mom had a nervous breakdown. She was in the psych ward at the local hospital for about a week.
At the time, I was so angry with her for being so weak, when she had so many blessings in her life. I hated that it was all about her. I hated that our lives were disrupted because of her. I hated having to tell people why she was in the hospital. I hated that she blamed ME for her being the way she was.
Now, I've never been more on the brink of going through the same thing she was in my whole life. I am constantly reminded of what she put up with on a daily basis. Every single day I can hear myself thinking, "God, how did my mother do it?" I realize now how human she was an infallible, and know I was more angry that the ideal I had in my head of her was what I missed the most, that after her breakdown, she wasn't this June Cleaver mom who had it all together (or the Judy's as some call them).
My husband thinks too many people are anxious and depressed these days, and he thinks it is due to fast food. Yes, the McDonald's generation.
I think it's just due to too much all at once.
I knew life would be a roller coaster, but I feel like my straps are broken and I'm holding on with only a finger!
At the time, I was so angry with her for being so weak, when she had so many blessings in her life. I hated that it was all about her. I hated that our lives were disrupted because of her. I hated having to tell people why she was in the hospital. I hated that she blamed ME for her being the way she was.
Now, I've never been more on the brink of going through the same thing she was in my whole life. I am constantly reminded of what she put up with on a daily basis. Every single day I can hear myself thinking, "God, how did my mother do it?" I realize now how human she was an infallible, and know I was more angry that the ideal I had in my head of her was what I missed the most, that after her breakdown, she wasn't this June Cleaver mom who had it all together (or the Judy's as some call them).
My husband thinks too many people are anxious and depressed these days, and he thinks it is due to fast food. Yes, the McDonald's generation.
I think it's just due to too much all at once.
I knew life would be a roller coaster, but I feel like my straps are broken and I'm holding on with only a finger!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
And it makes me wonder....
Some things still amaze me.
THIS shit amazes the heck out of me. I first learned about them when I was at the History Museum in New York City. Makes me wonder how much is out there we still don't know about.
THIS shit amazes the heck out of me. I first learned about them when I was at the History Museum in New York City. Makes me wonder how much is out there we still don't know about.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
4:20
When I was a sophomore in high school, my neighbor would drive me to school every morning in her blue VW bug. She was a huge "Meatloaf" fan and we listened to that damn wolf song until my ears would bleed ("Would you offer you throat to the wolf with the red roses...what? What the crap is that?). She also had no heat, but she smoked cigarettes, so we would have to drive with the windows down in the middle of winter. St. Louis winter. Pre-global warming.
My neighbor, who we will call Freckles, was a very interesting sort of person. I hung out with her more or less because she had a car, and also had access to her Dad's car, which was a 1963 covertible, and it rocked. We'd known each other since we were kids, and she used to freak me out by collecting those weird dolls with the big eyes. (and even Google can't help me find the name of those things--but they have brought back the terror that Ballerina doll gave me as a child...dear Lord the torment my brother gave me about that doll.)
I digress.
One day while on the way to school, we get to discussing what was, at the time, the most popular drug at our high school. Of course I'm talking about the weed. Maryjane. In later years this would eventually become my nickname, as my Spanish teacher dubbed me "Juana" for the remainder of my days. I've been called worse.
Upon discussing said drug, I revealed to her that I had never tried it. Smoking was a big no-no in my household, as my dad had smoked since high school and I certainly did not want to be a hypocrite when I was yelling at him that he was making my brand new jean jacket smell bad.
Well, leave it to Freckles, she said she would get me high after school. Woo hoo!
She picked me up after my last class, and we headed down to The Structure. The Structure was basically a wooden playground at the nearby grade school. But The Structure had such a better ring to it, yes?
Freckles took out this self-rolled, very thick (red flag hello), future destroying marijuana joint. She kept saying, "Are you sure you want to do this?" like I was about to partake in some tribal initiation that may or may not require loss of a limb.
Freckles lit it up, and let me take the first hit. I grabbed it, and notice that it does not smell the way I thought it would (second flag here)
I took a huge puff in, and it HURT all the way down into my lungs.
"WHAT THE HELL!" I said. I had heard that it was harsh but jeebus that burned!!!
Freckles, in all her infinite wisdom, assured me this was the norm, and that I'd get used to it.
I took another tackle at it, and had the same results.
"HOLY CRAP! Forget it, this is not worth it."
I was done.
So, Freckles proceed to 'toke it up' and takes a few hits and agrees, it is harsher than usual.
I am still trying to recover, and it hits me. I have several friends who were pros at this, and something was definitely rotten in Denmark. Or in this case, Amsterdam.
"Give me that for a second, Freckles."
She handed it over and I held it to my nose this time, smelling it. I knew the smell immediately.
"Freckles!!! This was rolled with CHEWING TOBACCO."
Some funny guy was selling chewing tobacco rolled up in cigarettes to unsuspecting, be-freckled individuals. Great.
What was even funnier, afterwards we went to a friend's house, and Freckles pretended to be HIGH!!
Upon returning home, my mom asked me if I'd just brushed my teeth. "You smell minty."
Yes, yes, I know.
My neighbor, who we will call Freckles, was a very interesting sort of person. I hung out with her more or less because she had a car, and also had access to her Dad's car, which was a 1963 covertible, and it rocked. We'd known each other since we were kids, and she used to freak me out by collecting those weird dolls with the big eyes. (and even Google can't help me find the name of those things--but they have brought back the terror that Ballerina doll gave me as a child...dear Lord the torment my brother gave me about that doll.)
I digress.
One day while on the way to school, we get to discussing what was, at the time, the most popular drug at our high school. Of course I'm talking about the weed. Maryjane. In later years this would eventually become my nickname, as my Spanish teacher dubbed me "Juana" for the remainder of my days. I've been called worse.
Upon discussing said drug, I revealed to her that I had never tried it. Smoking was a big no-no in my household, as my dad had smoked since high school and I certainly did not want to be a hypocrite when I was yelling at him that he was making my brand new jean jacket smell bad.
Well, leave it to Freckles, she said she would get me high after school. Woo hoo!
She picked me up after my last class, and we headed down to The Structure. The Structure was basically a wooden playground at the nearby grade school. But The Structure had such a better ring to it, yes?
Freckles took out this self-rolled, very thick (red flag hello), future destroying marijuana joint. She kept saying, "Are you sure you want to do this?" like I was about to partake in some tribal initiation that may or may not require loss of a limb.
Freckles lit it up, and let me take the first hit. I grabbed it, and notice that it does not smell the way I thought it would (second flag here)
I took a huge puff in, and it HURT all the way down into my lungs.
"WHAT THE HELL!" I said. I had heard that it was harsh but jeebus that burned!!!
Freckles, in all her infinite wisdom, assured me this was the norm, and that I'd get used to it.
I took another tackle at it, and had the same results.
"HOLY CRAP! Forget it, this is not worth it."
I was done.
So, Freckles proceed to 'toke it up' and takes a few hits and agrees, it is harsher than usual.
I am still trying to recover, and it hits me. I have several friends who were pros at this, and something was definitely rotten in Denmark. Or in this case, Amsterdam.
"Give me that for a second, Freckles."
She handed it over and I held it to my nose this time, smelling it. I knew the smell immediately.
"Freckles!!! This was rolled with CHEWING TOBACCO."
Some funny guy was selling chewing tobacco rolled up in cigarettes to unsuspecting, be-freckled individuals. Great.
What was even funnier, afterwards we went to a friend's house, and Freckles pretended to be HIGH!!
Upon returning home, my mom asked me if I'd just brushed my teeth. "You smell minty."
Yes, yes, I know.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Ralph, get me through this day
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sunday, July 08, 2007
One day at a Time
Sparkpeople.com is one of the best websites ever!! I love being able to track every calorie I put into my greedy little mouth. So far I've been able to stay in the 1200-1400 calorie range. I have never counted calories before in my life. When I first started losing weight in my early 20s I counted fat grams, and almost starved myself to death. Then on Body For Life there was no counting calories, just mostly equal carbs to equal protein (which I still keep track of). But never calories! I have just taken another step closer to turning into my mother. Next thing you know I'll be clipping coupons to get that Pringles inflatable raft in the mail (this is scary...but there is a story behind that, and yes i DID have Pringles rafts as a kid).
I did really well this weekend eating-wise. We had a double header softball game on Saturday and had to eat quick at Dairy Queen so I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich thinking I was safe...uh, can you say 530 calories? That's almost half of my calories for the day! Yikes. Good thing I am lactose intolerant, that Brownie Earthquake was calling my name....then I was at a wedding that night (Hi Kathy! Love love you!) and just ate salad. So I'm pretty proud of myself.
There were fireworks at the landing on Friday night so we took the girls to see them. It was a gorgeous night, and they were spectacular. Momma loves her some fireworks.
Nothing much to write, but I am trying to post for a week without blabbing about my kids. As much as I love them, sometimes I can write about something else. So, I will leave you with one story and try to see if I can do it.
The other day we were in the car and my mom was talking to the girls about weddings. She described hers, and how pretty the flowers were. Then she talked about mine, about the cake and how nice and quaint it was, very intimate. The girls started telling stories about where they wanted to have their own weddings, in the backyard, at the Botanical Gardens, on the beach. My mom drops the bomb..."Who do you think you will marry?" Al speculates for Rug, on a few boys in her class she may or may not have a crush on.
Rug replies, "Nah, I'll probably just go on eHarmony.com. That looks like it works."
I did really well this weekend eating-wise. We had a double header softball game on Saturday and had to eat quick at Dairy Queen so I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich thinking I was safe...uh, can you say 530 calories? That's almost half of my calories for the day! Yikes. Good thing I am lactose intolerant, that Brownie Earthquake was calling my name....then I was at a wedding that night (Hi Kathy! Love love you!) and just ate salad. So I'm pretty proud of myself.
There were fireworks at the landing on Friday night so we took the girls to see them. It was a gorgeous night, and they were spectacular. Momma loves her some fireworks.
Nothing much to write, but I am trying to post for a week without blabbing about my kids. As much as I love them, sometimes I can write about something else. So, I will leave you with one story and try to see if I can do it.
The other day we were in the car and my mom was talking to the girls about weddings. She described hers, and how pretty the flowers were. Then she talked about mine, about the cake and how nice and quaint it was, very intimate. The girls started telling stories about where they wanted to have their own weddings, in the backyard, at the Botanical Gardens, on the beach. My mom drops the bomb..."Who do you think you will marry?" Al speculates for Rug, on a few boys in her class she may or may not have a crush on.
Rug replies, "Nah, I'll probably just go on eHarmony.com. That looks like it works."
Friday, July 06, 2007
Parenting Tip 4,375
When faced with a real fussy baby for no apparent reason, give said baby a hot dog bun. Dissecting a hot dog bun is very educational for baby and will give you at least 20 minutes of peace and quiet.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Been awhile since I've done one, and this one looked particularly fun, from Shelibells.
1. Describe your first kiss.
Well, once I finish dry heaving I can tell you. His name was Glenn and i did not like him at all, but see I am the BIGGEST pushover in the world, and my friend made me do it. I am not kidding. It was awkward, it was awful, blech. But then my 2nd kiss was with a totally hot tuba player, at a wrestling match. Super hot. Tuba, mmmm.
2. Should a person’s pubic hair be trimmed, shaved, or just grown out as the jungle God intended it to be? Trimmed, boys and girls.
3. What’s the best super-hero comic book movie ever made? Flash Gordon omg are you kidding?
4. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Dr. Pepper.
5. Have you ever been caught masturbating? Who, what? Me? No but one time I had an UTI and my doctor asked me if I'd been 'fiddling with myself too much'. Seriously.
6. Which way do you lean your head when going for a kiss? Right.
7. Jockstraps, sexy or no? I'm sorry? Boxers only, please. Never, ever capris.
Have you ever used the excuse, “Oh, I was so drunk that night, I don’t remember a THING!"
No but there was a specific hot tub incident in which I would have used it.
1. Describe your first kiss.
Well, once I finish dry heaving I can tell you. His name was Glenn and i did not like him at all, but see I am the BIGGEST pushover in the world, and my friend made me do it. I am not kidding. It was awkward, it was awful, blech. But then my 2nd kiss was with a totally hot tuba player, at a wrestling match. Super hot. Tuba, mmmm.
2. Should a person’s pubic hair be trimmed, shaved, or just grown out as the jungle God intended it to be? Trimmed, boys and girls.
3. What’s the best super-hero comic book movie ever made? Flash Gordon omg are you kidding?
4. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Dr. Pepper.
5. Have you ever been caught masturbating? Who, what? Me? No but one time I had an UTI and my doctor asked me if I'd been 'fiddling with myself too much'. Seriously.
6. Which way do you lean your head when going for a kiss? Right.
7. Jockstraps, sexy or no? I'm sorry? Boxers only, please. Never, ever capris.
Have you ever used the excuse, “Oh, I was so drunk that night, I don’t remember a THING!"
No but there was a specific hot tub incident in which I would have used it.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Walking on the Moon
Was I having some sort of temporary insanity yesterday by posting that picture of myself? As Dickie Roberts would say, that is nuckin futs. I have been doing better on my diet, though---I hate to use that term, I just try to eat healthy. Willpower is something I need to regain. I am officially on the wagon with French Fries. I will be giving myself a coin at 30 days of no fries. A
McCoin, if you will.
Last night we went to see THE POLICE in concert. Holy guacamole it was incredible. I never thought I'd get to see them live. It was a packed house, and Sting is still hotter than ever---although, I've always been a Stewart Copeland fan. Which is more wrong...me lusting over a man 20 years older than me at 10 years old in 1983, or me still thinking he is hot when he is 55? Anyway, such a great concert. We had spectacular seats and they had just as much gusto now as they probably did the last time they were in St. Louis together, which I think was 1983 as well. My favorite? Definitely "Can't Stand Losing You". Ah, bliss.
I also sat by a guy who had an iPhone and the goof let me sit and play with it. (the iPhone you pervs) it was really neat if you are a gadget person, which I am not. LP's mouth was watering though.
So I can now check another band off my list of Bands to See in Concert. Now I have to still hang on to the hope that Pink Floyd will one day reunite...
What bands do you wish you could see?
McCoin, if you will.
Last night we went to see THE POLICE in concert. Holy guacamole it was incredible. I never thought I'd get to see them live. It was a packed house, and Sting is still hotter than ever---although, I've always been a Stewart Copeland fan. Which is more wrong...me lusting over a man 20 years older than me at 10 years old in 1983, or me still thinking he is hot when he is 55? Anyway, such a great concert. We had spectacular seats and they had just as much gusto now as they probably did the last time they were in St. Louis together, which I think was 1983 as well. My favorite? Definitely "Can't Stand Losing You". Ah, bliss.
I also sat by a guy who had an iPhone and the goof let me sit and play with it. (the iPhone you pervs) it was really neat if you are a gadget person, which I am not. LP's mouth was watering though.
So I can now check another band off my list of Bands to See in Concert. Now I have to still hang on to the hope that Pink Floyd will one day reunite...
What bands do you wish you could see?
Monday, July 02, 2007
The Weight
There are very few people who do not have weight issues. I have had mine, and thought they were licked...until right before I got pregnant with M. I knew I was planning on getting preggers, so I just let it loose with eating. I can throw down, let me tell you. The number one thing that is a very large distraction of my diet? Peanut butter toast. Seriously. I do not eat a ton of ice cream, I hate potato chips, sweets are not my thing. It's the peanut butter on white toast that gets me.
Here is a short time line of my crazy weight yo-yo:
1995: Graduated from college, gaining the "Freshman 15 and then some".
1996: I was heartbroken and disillusioned, and about 40 lbs overweight. My friend gave me a coupon for a YMCA membership, I signed up and went balls to the wall for 4 months. I lost it all by eating Grape-Nuts and a baked potato all day. Not very healthy, and the skinniest I've ever been, but not healthiest. Lowest I think was 115 lbs.
1996, fall: Got preggers with Al.
1997: I only weighed 147 at 40 weeks with Al, which is ridiculous to me now. I lost it very quickly. I then went to a personal trainer for a few months, who told me I would have to work harder than most people due to a high heart rate or something along those lines. Great. So, I worked my a$$ off. I would go to the gym for 2 hours at a time.
2000: Had Rug. After that, I worked out even harder, and was the smallest I've ever been, a size 2-4. I still weighed about 125 lbs. though.
2002: Did my first Body For Life. This program completely changed my life, my body. I would recommend it to ANYONE. Anyone who is serious. Not to anyone who doesn't like to lift weights, and definitely not to anyone who hates cottage cheese.
2003: Did Body For life, again. This time, I got the best results:
Can you even see that? Anyway. That was me in the PJs, showing off my abs. I was strong and lean and had muscles popping out every which way. Maybe I can find a better pic:
Kablam, right?Then I turned 30.
I have gained 5 lbs. per year since I turned 30. WTF? Plus I've lost the motivation I used to have as well. Body For Life does not do it for me anymore, at all. I have to re-teach myself to lift weights the way I used to. It is very hard to stay motivated, especially with the lack of time now that I work fulltime, as well as having a fulltime baby in the household who doesn't necessarily enjoy going to the YMCA daycare. Mrtl has started going to a website that I may start to go to, sparkpeople.com in hopes it will give me the motivation I need. Also, posting here with my calorie counts and making me liable will help as well. Then I can get back into all those super cute capris I bought before getting pregnant with Miss M!! And I promise I will never, ever dye my hair that color blonde again.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Big 10
The 10 days of Al's birthday are over, pretty much. I think she enjoyed it...one of her friend's mom came up to me this weekend and said I was making her look bad, her daughter's birthday is THIS week and she asked if she was getting the '10-day' birthday too!! She said she told her every little detail of the gifts and activities etc, so I must be in with the kids, not so much with the moms. Eh, that's my life. Everyone, always jealous of me and my fabulousness and beauty. It is tough being this wonderful, let me tell you.
I think Al's favorite was the horseback riding, which, even typing it, makes my hips squeal in pain:
This week we will be going to Six Flags where I pray we keep our ankles. Did you read about that?? Barnacles, that is completely nuts. That is the same kind of ride I rode on top of the Stratosphere in Vegas. I believe I will no longer be riding such a ride. Yowza, I'm going to stick to the roller coasters, they are SO much safer...
I think Al's favorite was the horseback riding, which, even typing it, makes my hips squeal in pain:
That was rough! Her horse kept stopping to eat the leaves, and she was trying to pull him away from it but had too much slack, and me trying to explain this to her while she is literally wigging out was to no avail, so we both were just laughing our heads off. She is such a great kid, I wish I had her as a friend when I was growing up!
Her aunt made her another homemade cake, and as usual it was uber cool:
This week we will be going to Six Flags where I pray we keep our ankles. Did you read about that?? Barnacles, that is completely nuts. That is the same kind of ride I rode on top of the Stratosphere in Vegas. I believe I will no longer be riding such a ride. Yowza, I'm going to stick to the roller coasters, they are SO much safer...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Not much doing
I really wanted to post every day this week. And it's almost Wednesday already! Oh well. My grandma died last week, so we were busy with the arrangements, etc. I am very glad my father can go on with his life; he was an incredibly devoted son to her, and my parents have been caring for others too long now, it's time for them to have their own fun!! (and I don't dare ask what that might entail). ((although I'm sure it has something to do with playing Bunco and going to several church dinners)).
The funeral threw a little wrench into the 10-day Al birthday plan, but so far this week it has been good. She spent the day at the bookstore on Monday with a Cardinals game afterwards, (Hello? How many frigging people do we HAVE on the DL?) and today she spent at the City Museum in St. Louis. Tomorrow we are going horseback riding (much to my dismay) and Thursday she will get to meet up with her friends for some roller skating disco. She is enjoying it a lot so far, I'm glad. I think it is much easier than trying to figure out how to entertain 12 screaming girls for 4 hours.
I've gone back to my workout regimen, and by golly this time I'm sticking to it. That is a post for another day, but if Marcia Brady can lose it, surely I can. Oh and the One Day at a Time chickie. So I'm back on the treadmill, again, with my fixed (yay!) iPod and my new sneakers I'm Rhet-ta-go.
Annnnnd finally, if this post weren't exciting enough, the new SUPER Wal-Mart opened in our area last week. You have NO IDEA how thrilling this is. Before now, you had two choices. Pay through the nose and they will bag your groceries, or get limited selection and cheap prices with bagging your own groceries. Ya know what my least favorite thing to do is? Bag frigging groceries. So, now the Wal-Mart is here, cheap prices AND, they bag your damn groceries. It has definitely given me the forbidden fruit, and I am so taking a big ol' bite. I have my list ready. Plus, I can get my nails done, my hair cut, my taxes done AND rotate my tires. Hot dog.
Tomorrow I will remember to post a pic of Miss M at the Cardinals game because it IS the sweetest thing ever, even if 2 people asked me why I had a wig on my baby. Swear!
The funeral threw a little wrench into the 10-day Al birthday plan, but so far this week it has been good. She spent the day at the bookstore on Monday with a Cardinals game afterwards, (Hello? How many frigging people do we HAVE on the DL?) and today she spent at the City Museum in St. Louis. Tomorrow we are going horseback riding (much to my dismay) and Thursday she will get to meet up with her friends for some roller skating disco. She is enjoying it a lot so far, I'm glad. I think it is much easier than trying to figure out how to entertain 12 screaming girls for 4 hours.
I've gone back to my workout regimen, and by golly this time I'm sticking to it. That is a post for another day, but if Marcia Brady can lose it, surely I can. Oh and the One Day at a Time chickie. So I'm back on the treadmill, again, with my fixed (yay!) iPod and my new sneakers I'm Rhet-ta-go.
Annnnnd finally, if this post weren't exciting enough, the new SUPER Wal-Mart opened in our area last week. You have NO IDEA how thrilling this is. Before now, you had two choices. Pay through the nose and they will bag your groceries, or get limited selection and cheap prices with bagging your own groceries. Ya know what my least favorite thing to do is? Bag frigging groceries. So, now the Wal-Mart is here, cheap prices AND, they bag your damn groceries. It has definitely given me the forbidden fruit, and I am so taking a big ol' bite. I have my list ready. Plus, I can get my nails done, my hair cut, my taxes done AND rotate my tires. Hot dog.
Tomorrow I will remember to post a pic of Miss M at the Cardinals game because it IS the sweetest thing ever, even if 2 people asked me why I had a wig on my baby. Swear!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Today it Begins
My internet has been down for a few days. I have a guy coming today to look at it after telling the guy from customer service who doesn't even know where Illinois is that I had already trouble shooted all that and get someone out here NOW. of course, 'NOW' to them is two days later.
Hope he looks like David Beckham. Yummy. He'll probably look more like David Brenner.
I am starting my daughter's "10 Days of Birthday" today. I have had my share of big birthday parties, and sleepovers cause WAY too much drama. Since she has already become a 'tween, officially, with the constant eye-rolling and the sing-song "MoooOOOOm!!!" we needed to make sure we celebrated the now present mood swings in style.
So, instead of a party, I'm doing something every day for 10 days. Just for her.
Today we will be getting pedicures and going miniature golfing, and her grandparents are taking her out to dinner to ANY restaurant she wishes.
We also have horseback riding, water parks, movies, Six Flags, and rock climbing to look forward to. I'm sure she will have a blast.
I hope so. I am out of ideas!
Hope he looks like David Beckham. Yummy. He'll probably look more like David Brenner.
I am starting my daughter's "10 Days of Birthday" today. I have had my share of big birthday parties, and sleepovers cause WAY too much drama. Since she has already become a 'tween, officially, with the constant eye-rolling and the sing-song "MoooOOOOm!!!" we needed to make sure we celebrated the now present mood swings in style.
So, instead of a party, I'm doing something every day for 10 days. Just for her.
Today we will be getting pedicures and going miniature golfing, and her grandparents are taking her out to dinner to ANY restaurant she wishes.
We also have horseback riding, water parks, movies, Six Flags, and rock climbing to look forward to. I'm sure she will have a blast.
I hope so. I am out of ideas!
Monday, June 11, 2007
hand of death
what IS it with me and iPods? I just got this iPod in May, and it is already dead. Dead. To me. Fortunately it is still under warranty and I will get a new one, but REALLY. The last one cost 400 dollars so at least I was smart this time and got the cheap one. Yeah cheap, $150. Right.
Anyway, I was planning on blogging about something or other but got too caught up in things. This weekend we had a babysitter for 3 hours so LP and I went and got some sushi, and went to Target. These are things we do with no kids. It was nice. Then we sat out on our deck and played the 80s version of Trivial Pursuit. I realize now I need to learn more about Croatia, apparently. Wikipedia, here I come.
I spent a good chunk of my day talking with a realtor about the house. We are wanting to move in the next year or so, not sure where, but we want to be prepared when we do. LP has job opportunities in Georgia, which would be interesting. Neither of us have ever lived further away from our birthplace than 2 hours. I doubt it'll ever happen but it would be so cool.
Obviously my writing has suffered here today, but I find it oddly necessary to write, even though this is ending up sounding like one of those awful Christmas newsletters no one ever wants to read. So sorry to have wasted to your blog time.
In the meantime, kissing the back of a baby's neck is about the greatest thing ever. That and brownies, natch.
Anyway, I was planning on blogging about something or other but got too caught up in things. This weekend we had a babysitter for 3 hours so LP and I went and got some sushi, and went to Target. These are things we do with no kids. It was nice. Then we sat out on our deck and played the 80s version of Trivial Pursuit. I realize now I need to learn more about Croatia, apparently. Wikipedia, here I come.
I spent a good chunk of my day talking with a realtor about the house. We are wanting to move in the next year or so, not sure where, but we want to be prepared when we do. LP has job opportunities in Georgia, which would be interesting. Neither of us have ever lived further away from our birthplace than 2 hours. I doubt it'll ever happen but it would be so cool.
Obviously my writing has suffered here today, but I find it oddly necessary to write, even though this is ending up sounding like one of those awful Christmas newsletters no one ever wants to read. So sorry to have wasted to your blog time.
In the meantime, kissing the back of a baby's neck is about the greatest thing ever. That and brownies, natch.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Wild Card Wed- K!
See, now, I spent all week ruminating on the letter "K" and thought immediately of this picture, and then I thought, Oh, yes, it was 1990, so I could be "Knarly"!!! Then, I realized, "Knarly" actually starts with G, "Gnarly". But dammit I still want the credit, so we can go with a few "K" words here.
We can go with "Keepsake" which is not what I would consider those blue sparkly shoes to be. In fact, this entire get up was borrowed from my friend. Except the hairspray that made my hair stand up that way.
We could also go with "Karma" because the doofus I went to prom with was a royal pain in my arse the whole night, or rather, the whole time we dated, culminating in him not even going to my high school graduation, and us getting into a big fight. And since I know Karma is a bitch, I am totally OK with it.
Lastly, we could go with a word I looked up, "kapok" which means a fluffy fibre for stuffing things. Needless to say, there are some serious shoulder pads going on in this dress. 'nuf said.
Did YOU play?
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
LIfe time Reader
As I mentioned, I went to the library yesterday. My daughters are hell bent on reading their summer away, which, of course I'm happy about but seriously? AIR people. Fresh AIR. It's out there while I'm inside typing. When I was a kid, my mom opened the door after breakfast, and told us she did not want to see our mugs until lunch. My kids needs ta go OUTSIDE! (so I make them have a mandatory hour outside, in which they usually take their books and read. Outside)
Anyway, Al won 1st place this year in her class for Accelerated Reader. That means she read more books and got more points than anyone else in the class. She's a nut I tell ya.
Now Rug, she's not my reader. And that is totally okay. She is my 'pretender'. She will go down to the Polly Pocket table in the basement and play for hours, making up elaborate and sometimes tragic plays and it usually ends up in a big huge Polly mess, with at least one Polly missing a head.
But at the end of the year this year, all of a sudden she was INTO books. I couldn't figure it out, but wasn't asking any questions. She was reading like a fiend.
Last day of school, and I found out why. The boy she has a huge crush on, C, apparently is the winner in the Accelerated Reader in her class. Aha! Reading books = taking AR tests = sitting next to C!!! It all makes sense now.
She enjoys Magic Treehouse books, and if you have a 7-year-old or there abouts, there is a website for them and if they read one of these books, they can answer questions and get a 'passport' for that book. You print out the passport book and get the 'stickers'. That should occupy Rug for a few weeks anyway. She is already on #4.
Al, well, she needed a new book to read. I asked her if she had read "Blubber" yet. Nope. This was one of my favorite books as a child. I had the 4 book set of Judy Blume books, with SuperFudge, Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great, Blubber, and of course, Are you There God, It's Me, Margaret. I read them over and over. Mostly to figure out the whole 'pink belt' thing (careful boys---it's girl stuff) and to digest the characters Ms. Blume created, some of the first fallible characters I'd encountered. So I figured Al, who reads books like "Inkheart" and "Doll People" would enjoy Blubber. Buttttt, knowing and remembering Judy Blume as I did, I re-read it first before giving it to her.
I was amazed at how mean the main character was, and was surprised at myself for holding her so high in my memory, not remembering her calling her teacher a 'bitch' (which, oh my gosh, in my Catholic household was a HUGE no-no) and her brother a little ass. She also eggs a house, and torments another girl in the classroom unforgivingly.
I gave it to Al to read, because it shows how someone can justify their own actions even if they are deplorable, and that inevitably, these actions result in huge consequences.
Now then. Books for the summer--check. Sanity--hopefully intact for at least a few more weeks.
Anyway, Al won 1st place this year in her class for Accelerated Reader. That means she read more books and got more points than anyone else in the class. She's a nut I tell ya.
Now Rug, she's not my reader. And that is totally okay. She is my 'pretender'. She will go down to the Polly Pocket table in the basement and play for hours, making up elaborate and sometimes tragic plays and it usually ends up in a big huge Polly mess, with at least one Polly missing a head.
But at the end of the year this year, all of a sudden she was INTO books. I couldn't figure it out, but wasn't asking any questions. She was reading like a fiend.
Last day of school, and I found out why. The boy she has a huge crush on, C, apparently is the winner in the Accelerated Reader in her class. Aha! Reading books = taking AR tests = sitting next to C!!! It all makes sense now.
She enjoys Magic Treehouse books, and if you have a 7-year-old or there abouts, there is a website for them and if they read one of these books, they can answer questions and get a 'passport' for that book. You print out the passport book and get the 'stickers'. That should occupy Rug for a few weeks anyway. She is already on #4.
Al, well, she needed a new book to read. I asked her if she had read "Blubber" yet. Nope. This was one of my favorite books as a child. I had the 4 book set of Judy Blume books, with SuperFudge, Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great, Blubber, and of course, Are you There God, It's Me, Margaret. I read them over and over. Mostly to figure out the whole 'pink belt' thing (careful boys---it's girl stuff) and to digest the characters Ms. Blume created, some of the first fallible characters I'd encountered. So I figured Al, who reads books like "Inkheart" and "Doll People" would enjoy Blubber. Buttttt, knowing and remembering Judy Blume as I did, I re-read it first before giving it to her.
I was amazed at how mean the main character was, and was surprised at myself for holding her so high in my memory, not remembering her calling her teacher a 'bitch' (which, oh my gosh, in my Catholic household was a HUGE no-no) and her brother a little ass. She also eggs a house, and torments another girl in the classroom unforgivingly.
I gave it to Al to read, because it shows how someone can justify their own actions even if they are deplorable, and that inevitably, these actions result in huge consequences.
Now then. Books for the summer--check. Sanity--hopefully intact for at least a few more weeks.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Passing Time
I could just post a picture, but I won't.
I have a tremendous headache and I can't sleep. the only sounds in the house are of me typing on the keyboard. Everyone is asleep.
The neighbor just pulled up. I wonder where he was.
I could tell you about my brother, Boy Wonder. He is 3 years older than me and was supposed to become something great. He still lives with my parents, which is fine, but he does not pay rent and causes them a lot of stress. That makes me so sad. We went out to dinner with them the other night, and I could feel the anger emanating from him as I sat by him. Tragic.
I had such a lovely weekend with my family. We spent last evening at a nice Chinese restaurant, eating with chopsticks and sharing each other's food. We laughed and giggled at each other, and Miss M, and poked fun one by one...none were spared. Miss M loved the chopsticks, waving them like a baton.
We went to a local carnival and the girls rode rides that took them upside down and sideways. I held my breath. Again I am cringing at the things I put my mother through. Aiyiyi.
I know I need to go to sleep, but this headache is unbearable! I need an oil change tomorrow, have to go get stamps from the post office. Sigh.
Last week I got "Hannibal Rising" from the library. Last night I finished it. Today I rented the movie. He is quite a character for sure. I went back today to read "Hannibal". Hope it's as good.
There goes the ice machine in the fridge. I think it's telling me to go to bed!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Random
We left for a week to Gulf Shores, Alabama, returned on Thursday only to leave Friday for a soccer tournament. Al's team won 1st place, so it was super worth it. That face right there? Pure bliss. She rocked it.The beach was amazing, I wish we could have stayed longer. I would recommend that place to anyone. Not as loud as Panama City Beach, but still just as pretty. We were total beach bums.
It's the last week of school so my plate is full!
Al found a website that is super fun to waste time on: www.stardoll.com. It brings me such joy to dress Britney in a slutty outfit and put a baby bottle in her hand. Good times.
More later.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Just call me Consumer Reports
It is in my nature to help people. I crave it. Sometimes I catch myself searching out people who look lost, or in need of a decision. If I am in a store, and I overhear someone talking about a product, I will inadvertently give them my two cents, whether they were short money or not. One time I was at Wally world, and an older couple had just gotten Pergo installed in their house, and were trying to figure out what to clean it with. I suggested a product, and about peed my pants with glee when I saw them walk out of the store with said product. It is what I live for.
So today, I am going to give you JanasayQua's recommendations of All Things. These things have worked for me, I like these things, these things will give you joy, hopefully, as they have me. Things can be good, and as Dr. Seuss says, these things are fun, and fun is good.
Household Items:
Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. What did I do before these were invented? They are fabulous, and allow my children to participate fully in the cleaning of da house. It also prevents that "woops I accidentially sprayed this highly toxic cleaner too close to LP's coffee." Not that that every happened previously. (And the Lysol ones do not work as well, trust me.)
Bissell Steam Cleaner This puppy can clean up any mess your pets leave behind. And it smells oh so good! My carpets are like buttah after I steam clean them. Too bad I have kids. God they just ruin everything.
Swiffer or product similar See old couple story above. It truly works wonders.
Dawn Direct Foam. I hate it when I've done the dishes and then there is like, one pan in the sink. My mother, the Queen of the Clean, would absolutely fill up the whole sink just to clean that one pan. Not me. Direct Foam is perfect for lazy people like me who like to have a sink with no dishes. Not for crazy OCD people like my mother. (who still does not own a dishwasher, I might add)
Dyson vacuum cleaners. My husband sheds more than my two cats, and this takes care of it all. Enough said.
Scrubbing Bubbles. How can I not use a product that, as a child, taught me cool looking talking bubbles came in and scrubbed my toilet and bathtub clean? The 'shhhhhhhh' sound still brings back memories and no one has convinced me yet that those little guys aren't in there. I do feel a twinge of guilt once they're flushed down the drain though.
Post-It Notes. I may not be OCD but I am a list maker. You will find lists of daily to-dos, what needs to get done by 2009, what I want to be when I grow up, what to buy at the store and who has pissed me off today, all lying around my house. So Post-It Notes come in handy. Good times. They are also handy for the single men in your life:
Tomorrow, if I find the time....JanasayQua's List of Toiletry Items I cannot live without.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Still A mess
The game was a lot of fun. The stadium is absolutely amazing, but my dad was right. It totally caters to people with money. Altogether, our night out at the ballpark cost well over $200. I can't imagine how much it would have been with the kids. We sat in the "Redbird Club" area which had an air-conditioned (well, it wasn't air-conditioned at the time, it was nipply!) area with 6 stations of different cuisines to choose from. LP and I had 'gourmet' pizzas. It's a far cry from hot dogs and nachos, that is for sure. Our meal was over $30, and that was just one soda. But it was a lot of fun. LP is usually not allowed to take pictures, as you can see from the picture above, it's more like a "Where's Waldo" game than a picture of me.On a sad note, we lost one of Cardinal players this weekend. Josh Hancock, relief pitcher, was killed in a car accident. He was only 29. And that just sucks.
***********
Only a few more weeks until we go to the beach. We have two out of town soccer tournaments and Rug has started softball, so no rest for the wicked!
Here is a question to leave you with that I heard on the radio the other day: Is there a quote or line from a book that changed your way of thinking, and if there is, what is it?
I will tell you my answer tomorrow!
Friday, April 27, 2007
what the &(#$(#
Haven't posted because my thoughts have been a big scramble of mumble jumble. Crazy thoughts flitter in and out of my head constantly, I am unable to maintain one thought for any period of time. So here are a few that have jogged the treadmill in my head:
** What IF God was one of us? That song was on the radio. I'm more in limbo right now about my faith than ever, but if I had two questions, one serious and one not so much, the first would be, "What is UP with babies having cancer?" and the other would be, "God, how would my life be different if I had decided to go to that party in 8th grade that I stayed home from?"
** I truly believe Miss M is an old soul. She talks/babbles all the time, but if I reply in 'baby talk' she looks at me like I'm completely whacked. But when I start talking to her about the news, she talks back. So I've been asking her if she was in a nursing home, or if she died tragically, or what, because she totally acts like she's been here before. I guess her looking at me like I'm completely whacked isn't so far off.
** what the hell is up with THIS? Like a nutzo Law & Order episode except it's real!
** I've finally gotten to an 11 minute mile. I used to do a 9 minute one. At least I've finally gone down a size in pants. Yesterday I was watching "20 Skinniest Celebrities" on VH1 and it was grossing me out but at the same time I kept catching myself thinking, "I wish I had that kind of commitment to starve myself." WTF!
** I'm re-reading "Watership Down". I never thought a book about rabbits would interest me.
** When is the point in a friendship when you say, enough? Aren't you supposed to be friends with someone no matter what, even if they do something you don't agree with? But where is the line between forgiveness and not being taken advantage of?
** How do you instill confidence in your children? Do you build them up or knock them down?
** One of the moms on our softball team told me her daughter thinks LP is 'cute'. Yeah right honey. She had to of heard it from somewhere. Note to self: Watch that chickadee very closely.
** Planet Earth is probably the coolest thing I've ever seen in HD. Wow.
** Could Yadier Molina get any cuter??
** I wish I would not have been so mean to that girl in 7th grade. God what a little witch I was.
** I started taken Hydroxycut, just to see if it would help me. I was up for 3 nights straight.
** Al was in the talent show this year and I could not have been prouder of any one else dancing to "Space Jam". Who would have thought that song would even be relevant anymore.
** I have got to get some self tanner.
** I'm going to go real blonde again this summer.
** Hmm. I haven't blogged in awhile.
So there you have it. My sordid brain making all kinds of ridiculous synapses. Oh, and Miss M is sleeping through the night and guess what did it...letting her go to sleep! Just putting her down! Not getting up with her! It's amazing!
Tonight LP got tickets to the Cardinals game. I have not even BEEN in the new stadium, such a pity. I cannot wait, as they are playing the CUBS, and in case you didn't know, this is the Midwest version of the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. Except well, the Cubs STILL have yet to win a World Series. At least we've won a World Series in our 'new' stadium.
Ciao!
** What IF God was one of us? That song was on the radio. I'm more in limbo right now about my faith than ever, but if I had two questions, one serious and one not so much, the first would be, "What is UP with babies having cancer?" and the other would be, "God, how would my life be different if I had decided to go to that party in 8th grade that I stayed home from?"
** I truly believe Miss M is an old soul. She talks/babbles all the time, but if I reply in 'baby talk' she looks at me like I'm completely whacked. But when I start talking to her about the news, she talks back. So I've been asking her if she was in a nursing home, or if she died tragically, or what, because she totally acts like she's been here before. I guess her looking at me like I'm completely whacked isn't so far off.
** what the hell is up with THIS? Like a nutzo Law & Order episode except it's real!
** I've finally gotten to an 11 minute mile. I used to do a 9 minute one. At least I've finally gone down a size in pants. Yesterday I was watching "20 Skinniest Celebrities" on VH1 and it was grossing me out but at the same time I kept catching myself thinking, "I wish I had that kind of commitment to starve myself." WTF!
** I'm re-reading "Watership Down". I never thought a book about rabbits would interest me.
** When is the point in a friendship when you say, enough? Aren't you supposed to be friends with someone no matter what, even if they do something you don't agree with? But where is the line between forgiveness and not being taken advantage of?
** How do you instill confidence in your children? Do you build them up or knock them down?
** One of the moms on our softball team told me her daughter thinks LP is 'cute'. Yeah right honey. She had to of heard it from somewhere. Note to self: Watch that chickadee very closely.
** Planet Earth is probably the coolest thing I've ever seen in HD. Wow.
** Could Yadier Molina get any cuter??
** I wish I would not have been so mean to that girl in 7th grade. God what a little witch I was.
** I started taken Hydroxycut, just to see if it would help me. I was up for 3 nights straight.
** Al was in the talent show this year and I could not have been prouder of any one else dancing to "Space Jam". Who would have thought that song would even be relevant anymore.
** I have got to get some self tanner.
** I'm going to go real blonde again this summer.
** Hmm. I haven't blogged in awhile.
So there you have it. My sordid brain making all kinds of ridiculous synapses. Oh, and Miss M is sleeping through the night and guess what did it...letting her go to sleep! Just putting her down! Not getting up with her! It's amazing!
Tonight LP got tickets to the Cardinals game. I have not even BEEN in the new stadium, such a pity. I cannot wait, as they are playing the CUBS, and in case you didn't know, this is the Midwest version of the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. Except well, the Cubs STILL have yet to win a World Series. At least we've won a World Series in our 'new' stadium.
Ciao!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Thank you!
Thanks for all the advice/support regarding Miss M's sleep pattern or lack thereof. I had a bit of a Mini-Breakdown yesterday, probably due to the culmination of every person in the house being sick (either throwing up, pink eye, coughing, sneezing, diarrhea or just basic blah-ness) in the last week on top of the lack of sleep. The one night LP stayed up with Miss M last week, Rug was up puking all night. So needless to say the caffeine was working overtime.
The night before last Miss M fell asleep in my arms around 9 ish, and she woke up around 4 a.m. I went in there, patted her on the back, stuck that pacifier back in and she fell back asleep. Then last night I set her in her crib at 9 p.m. and turned on her 'aquarium'. She cried for about 10 minutes, LP went in there, patted her, and folks...she slept until 6 a.m.!!!!!!!! Holy guacamole. I was stoked. I know that this isn't going to happen every night, but damn, 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep are you KIDDING?? LP and I actually got some Business done somewhere other than the shower too!!! Now THAT my readers, can be chalked up as a good day.
Even with the Mini-Breakdown, which, if you must know, consisted of me trying to utilize time efficiently only to end up with protein pancake batter all over me and the kitchen, as well as the plastic top of my blender shredded and grated in with said protein pancaker batter. 'Nuf said.
LP was freaked out by my losing it (of course I called him at work...if I was going down he was going down with me) so much he even suggested I partake in a recreational drug...one of which I may or may not have participated in since college...but I chose instead to blow bubbles with my daughters, and that helped a LOT. I always said bottles of Xanax should include a jug of bubbles to go along, it helps calm your nerves so much.
In conclusion I really thank everyone for giving me such great words of support. Now I know that breakdowns are much better done on your blog, where people you've never met can help you out a hell of a lot more than any psychotherapy can. Cheers!
The night before last Miss M fell asleep in my arms around 9 ish, and she woke up around 4 a.m. I went in there, patted her on the back, stuck that pacifier back in and she fell back asleep. Then last night I set her in her crib at 9 p.m. and turned on her 'aquarium'. She cried for about 10 minutes, LP went in there, patted her, and folks...she slept until 6 a.m.!!!!!!!! Holy guacamole. I was stoked. I know that this isn't going to happen every night, but damn, 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep are you KIDDING?? LP and I actually got some Business done somewhere other than the shower too!!! Now THAT my readers, can be chalked up as a good day.
Even with the Mini-Breakdown, which, if you must know, consisted of me trying to utilize time efficiently only to end up with protein pancake batter all over me and the kitchen, as well as the plastic top of my blender shredded and grated in with said protein pancaker batter. 'Nuf said.
LP was freaked out by my losing it (of course I called him at work...if I was going down he was going down with me) so much he even suggested I partake in a recreational drug...one of which I may or may not have participated in since college...but I chose instead to blow bubbles with my daughters, and that helped a LOT. I always said bottles of Xanax should include a jug of bubbles to go along, it helps calm your nerves so much.
In conclusion I really thank everyone for giving me such great words of support. Now I know that breakdowns are much better done on your blog, where people you've never met can help you out a hell of a lot more than any psychotherapy can. Cheers!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Good night Light and the red balloon....
Remember last year, when Dooce talked about her sleep troubles with Leta?I do. I even commented on it. And so did a lot of other people. Very angry people.
Now finding myself in the same position, with a baby who will not sleep through the night, I find myself torn. The first night I attempted to let her sleep on her own, I woke up in the middle of the night only to find her with her head stuck under the bumper pad!! I was horrified, and she slept with me after that.
I tried to let her sleep on her own again, and then she developed this chest cold, so how could I not let her sleep with me then? I certainly didn't want the Angry Mom Brigade tearing down my doors.
In the meantime, I am drinking enormous amounts of caffeine, even Britney Spears would be stunned at the amount of caffeine I've ingested. And caffeine usually has such ill effects on my system, right now, it's barely balancing out my tiredness.
(I just fell asleep for a few minutes while typing that last paragraph. Seriously. I'm TIRED).
What's a mom to do? Let her cry herself to sleep? Continue to sleep in her bedroom on the extra bed while my husband drifts easily to sleep in our bedroom, never again to share the same abode? Resorting only to quickies in the shower? (did I just say that outloud?) Do I buy book upon book to figure out what is abuse and what isn't??
I know about sleep problems. I have them. My mother would sing "You Give Your Hand to Me" and "500 Miles" every night to me while rubbing my head to go to sleep as a child. I truly believe that if someone would do that to me now, I'd have no more insomnia. (LP, ya listenin?) Aren't I doing Miss M a favor by not allowing her to expect me to sing her a song in hopes of her falling asleep? Isn't falling asleep on your own something that's a GOOD thing?
Help me out here. There is only so much Diet Dr. Pepper one person can drink. I'm going to have to resort to Red Bulls soon, and it's only a short hop skip away from shaving the head.
Friday, April 06, 2007
SPF Friday- HOLEY!
I know it's been a long time since I've participated in SPF (Stuff Portrait Friday) but with the addition of my new camera, things are on the up and up. Even if my participation this week is really stretching it.The theme is "Holey" I guess due to Easter and all (Kristine found Jesus...thank goodness). Yesterday Rug and I made this fantabulous Rice Krispie Bunny, and Rice Krispies are very HOLEY so there, I followed the rules.
Rug decorated Mr. Bunny all by herself--Swedish Fish eyebrows and all-- and was quite proud. Proud enough, in fact, to put her little sister on the table and take her temperature or squish her head down, if you take this picture literally. I didn't take the picture, LP did. I was in here, oddly enough, looking up Dionysus on Wikipedia. Don't ask.
Happy Easter and...DIDJA PLAY???
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Made me laugh today
Mother-in-Law rant.
Please! though this will come back to bite me in the tuckus as I will most likely be acrabby mom-in-law x 3.
Please! though this will come back to bite me in the tuckus as I will most likely be acrabby mom-in-law x 3.
baby handlers
So what is the proper etiquette when someone takes your baby out of your hands to hold them? Without asking, that is. I have come across this a lot lately, I know my kid is adorable but seriously? First of all, it's all yucky outside and who the hell knows what kind of germs you are carrying. And secondly, HELLO THAT IS MY KID.
I'm all about the sharing of the baby love. Babies to some people are like chocolate candy or Reese's Peanut butter cups, they brighten up their day. I am not a baby person, except for my own, so I know there have been few incidents of me taking a baby, and if there were, I surely ASKED permission first.
What's a momma to do? Shun said baby holders or just say, "Hey, not right now. She just got done playing with her own poop."
I'm all about the sharing of the baby love. Babies to some people are like chocolate candy or Reese's Peanut butter cups, they brighten up their day. I am not a baby person, except for my own, so I know there have been few incidents of me taking a baby, and if there were, I surely ASKED permission first.
What's a momma to do? Shun said baby holders or just say, "Hey, not right now. She just got done playing with her own poop."
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Wild Card Wednesday
Over at TKW's, Wednesdays have changed from Way Back to Wild Card. Probably due to the fact that I FINALLY have a scanner to participate in Way Back Wednesday, but such is the way the cosmos is working against me. Let's move forward.
I considered following along and doing the Water Park theme, but this is just another Vegas picture, and we can either file it under "Wedding" since we were renewing our vows, or, my preference, "Wasted" as that is what I was in this picture. Good times.
On a much more disturbing note, did anyone READ this?????
WTF indeed!
Monday, April 02, 2007
I coulda told them that
Mom's heartburn is linked to babies' hair
A small study may confirm what was thought to be a folk tale — the notion that mothers who suffer from heartburn during pregnancy give birth to babies with heads of hair.
Researchers at Johns Hopkins University conducted a study intending to put the claim to rest; instead they confirmed it.
Their study followed 64 pregnant women, including 78 percent suffering from some form of heartburn.
Here's what they learned:— Of the 28 women who reported moderate to severe heartburn, 23 had babies withaverage or above-average amounts of hair.—
Ten of 12 women who reported no heartburn had babies with little or no hair.
Researchers linked the hair to high levels of estrogen and other hormones that can cause heartburn in some women. Those same hormone levels are linked to increased hair growth for unborn babies.
A small study may confirm what was thought to be a folk tale — the notion that mothers who suffer from heartburn during pregnancy give birth to babies with heads of hair.
Researchers at Johns Hopkins University conducted a study intending to put the claim to rest; instead they confirmed it.
Their study followed 64 pregnant women, including 78 percent suffering from some form of heartburn.
Here's what they learned:— Of the 28 women who reported moderate to severe heartburn, 23 had babies withaverage or above-average amounts of hair.—
Ten of 12 women who reported no heartburn had babies with little or no hair.
Researchers linked the hair to high levels of estrogen and other hormones that can cause heartburn in some women. Those same hormone levels are linked to increased hair growth for unborn babies.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
trying to keep up
Just trying to keep my ahead above water. This is a pic of Miss M with my NEW camera, the Canon S3. I researched it pretty indepth, I think I made a good choice. I certainly won't be winning any photography awards, but at least I can say I made an honest effort to take pictures of my third child. Because no, I have not cracked open her baby book yet. Uh, I actually have no idea where it is. Wait, does she even HAVE a baby book?My friend's mom died Sunday. I was there for awhile, it was pretty sad. When I was in high school, my friend moved away to live with her dad, and her mom became my surrogate mother, taking me to dinner, to parties, etc. She was just a lot of fun to be around. I will miss her.
LP has been diagnosed certifiably crazy, as he agreed to coach Rug's softball team. WTF? Because we have all this free time. At least I can look forward to our beach vacation in late May. I need the beach. The beach, it may not need me in my post-baby body, but too effing bad!
Just got done reading "You'll never Nanny in This Town Again"
I was pretty disappointed. I loved the Nanny Diaries, and this was not it. The author, who, granted, was a young kid when she nannied for Debra Winger and Danny DeVito, relays the idiosyncrasies of the Hollywood elite. And though I'm sure she witnessed a lot of pretentiousness and vulgarity, she comes off more as an immature spoiled brat who doesn't conform to her surroundings. But in the end of the book she does realize this and makes a future for herself as a nurse. In my opinion though, read Nanny diaries, it's much better.
Al's addiction to books and reading is astonishing yet frightening...she reads constantly. At school her AR goal is 12 points for the quarter, she already has over 100. I'm a little worried about her reading level...she is a month or so away from reading "Are you There God? It's Me Margaret" and I will most definitely have to stick my head in oven when that occurs.
Have a great week!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Sideswiped
I just finished writing up a post about yesterday and the Blogger Bitch erased it. In a nutshell, I had planned on getting Miss M's 4 month pictures taken yesterday, and blogging, and doing a lot of other things yesterday. Instead, my friend called to tell me her mom had taken a bad turn and if I wanted to say goodbye i had better come to the hospital.Have I mentioned cancer sucks? Yeah, it really, really does.
So I spent the day crying in the ICU trying to figure out what the hell kind of cruel joke it is that she was dying when my friend is 5 months pregnant.
Here's a picture of the Divine Miss M at around 3.5 months. She turned 4 mos. yesterday, but I don't have a digital camera as LP dropped ours in Vegas. In a fit of being fed up with not having a camera I went ahead and purchased a Canon S3 yesterday, so it should be coming to my house in the next few days. I promise I plan on taking a class to use it so I don't look like a total schmuck when I use it.
I have nothing profound to say, but after reading many people and their losses and heartbreaks in the blog world, all I can offer is at least for today try to forget those little annoyances...life is short and every second you are angry is one less spent being happy.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
March blahs
I'm getting really irritated with the weather here. It was 75 degrees yesterday and beautiful. Today it's like 45. Make up your damn mind.
This pic was taken after our ceremony with our 'wedding coordinator' who ended up getting lots of our money that were meant for the slot machines. Right before snapping this picture, my friend J yelled, "Oh my gosh what is that in her bouquet!" prompting the guy to look at them, but in the picture making it look like he was checking out my rack. But oh, what a sweet rack it is. I'm sure that was a bonus for him.
Rug was completely ECSTATIC about the leprechaun note. She totally freaked. I'm sure I'm on the sh*t list of every mother in 1st grade whose kid came home to tell about Rug's discovery. I'm sure I was cussed at least once when they wanted to capture a leprechaun as well. Hey, blame the teacher, not me. I just went with it.
Last night they replayed Game 7 of the NLCS against the Mets. I was asleep at the time of Molina's hit, so it was really nice to re-live fully cognizant.
My little Divine Miss M will be 4 months old tomorrow. She is doing well. Of course I am now typing this one-handed as I'm feeding her!
Tomorrow I will try my best to participate in TKW's Dubya Wednesday. My subject will probably be Weight (and I shall lose it).
This pic was taken after our ceremony with our 'wedding coordinator' who ended up getting lots of our money that were meant for the slot machines. Right before snapping this picture, my friend J yelled, "Oh my gosh what is that in her bouquet!" prompting the guy to look at them, but in the picture making it look like he was checking out my rack. But oh, what a sweet rack it is. I'm sure that was a bonus for him.Rug was completely ECSTATIC about the leprechaun note. She totally freaked. I'm sure I'm on the sh*t list of every mother in 1st grade whose kid came home to tell about Rug's discovery. I'm sure I was cussed at least once when they wanted to capture a leprechaun as well. Hey, blame the teacher, not me. I just went with it.
Last night they replayed Game 7 of the NLCS against the Mets. I was asleep at the time of Molina's hit, so it was really nice to re-live fully cognizant.
My little Divine Miss M will be 4 months old tomorrow. She is doing well. Of course I am now typing this one-handed as I'm feeding her!
Tomorrow I will try my best to participate in TKW's Dubya Wednesday. My subject will probably be Weight (and I shall lose it).
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Because I don't have enough to worry about
Friday Rug brought home a decorated shoe box proclaiming this was her Leprechaun Trap. The shoebox was meticulously decorated with pom poms, pipe cleaners (My enemy!), feathers, and other staple 1st grade art supplies. She informed me that they had made the Trap on Thursday, and when they arrived on Friday, leprechaun tracks were scattered throughout the room. But tonight, she told me, she would trap a leprechaun.
Oh my, I thought. I was not at all prepared for this.
She diligently went to work, reinventing her trap so it would entice any unknowing Leprechaun better than any trap ever created. She shut the door to her room when she did it, so no one in her family could know the secrets of the magnificence she was creating. We were not to be trusted with such brilliance.
When she came out, it was a sight to behold. She had cut a leprechaun sized hole in the top, but covered it with brown construction paper so the leprechaun would not know there was a hole underneath!! Directly above the hole she had stuck a plastic pot of gold stick she had kept from atop of the cupcake she'd gotten from her St. Patrick's Day party. Surrounding the pot of gold she had numerous arrows and tiny signs that exclaimed, "Glod! Glod!" It reminded me of the hotel "Beetlejuice" was living in when he was trying to get Lydia to say his name, the arrows in big bold neon--"GLOD! GLOD!!"
She allowed me to open up the shoe box, and it was a sight to behold. She had glued a sucker onto the bottom, and in the corner she placed several feathers and a sheet of paper lie on top. "What is this?" I asked.
"It's his bed. I want him to be comfortable. Plus look, the sucker will totally trap him. Leprechauns LOVE candy!"
I then inquired about the several 'signs' she had glued onto the inside of the box that said, "Sorry!" and "I love you SO much".
She replied, "Well, I feel bad about having to trap him. So I want him to feel loved."
I asked her what she planned on doing with him when she caught him, and she said she was going to keep him as a pet.
Yesterday morning, there was no leprechaun. The fact that little Miss M has a chest infection and mom was up all night may have been a factor in this, as perhaps leprechauns hate the sound of babies crying.
As reported by Al, apparently Rug was very, very disheartened by this.
This morning when she wakes up, she will find a note from the leprechaun and a half-eaten sucker telling her she almost caught herself a leprechaun, but he was too wiley and got away.
I'm sure she will think he found some glod somewhere else.
Oh my, I thought. I was not at all prepared for this.
She diligently went to work, reinventing her trap so it would entice any unknowing Leprechaun better than any trap ever created. She shut the door to her room when she did it, so no one in her family could know the secrets of the magnificence she was creating. We were not to be trusted with such brilliance.
When she came out, it was a sight to behold. She had cut a leprechaun sized hole in the top, but covered it with brown construction paper so the leprechaun would not know there was a hole underneath!! Directly above the hole she had stuck a plastic pot of gold stick she had kept from atop of the cupcake she'd gotten from her St. Patrick's Day party. Surrounding the pot of gold she had numerous arrows and tiny signs that exclaimed, "Glod! Glod!" It reminded me of the hotel "Beetlejuice" was living in when he was trying to get Lydia to say his name, the arrows in big bold neon--"GLOD! GLOD!!"
She allowed me to open up the shoe box, and it was a sight to behold. She had glued a sucker onto the bottom, and in the corner she placed several feathers and a sheet of paper lie on top. "What is this?" I asked.
"It's his bed. I want him to be comfortable. Plus look, the sucker will totally trap him. Leprechauns LOVE candy!"
I then inquired about the several 'signs' she had glued onto the inside of the box that said, "Sorry!" and "I love you SO much".
She replied, "Well, I feel bad about having to trap him. So I want him to feel loved."
I asked her what she planned on doing with him when she caught him, and she said she was going to keep him as a pet.
Yesterday morning, there was no leprechaun. The fact that little Miss M has a chest infection and mom was up all night may have been a factor in this, as perhaps leprechauns hate the sound of babies crying.
As reported by Al, apparently Rug was very, very disheartened by this.
This morning when she wakes up, she will find a note from the leprechaun and a half-eaten sucker telling her she almost caught herself a leprechaun, but he was too wiley and got away.
I'm sure she will think he found some glod somewhere else.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
When it rains...
My very good friend's mom just learned she has Stage 4 lung cancer and has months to live.
My friend is having twins in July. She may not get to see them.
LP's grandma just went into the hospital today with shortness of breath, she needs a four vessel bypass.
She refused it.
Life is just too effing short.
All I can is all you jacklegs out there smoking cigarettes just STOP. It is really, really bad for you. Spread the word.
Vajana out.
My friend is having twins in July. She may not get to see them.
LP's grandma just went into the hospital today with shortness of breath, she needs a four vessel bypass.
She refused it.
Life is just too effing short.
All I can is all you jacklegs out there smoking cigarettes just STOP. It is really, really bad for you. Spread the word.
Vajana out.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Priorities
Well I'm officially insane, just like Sting. He said he'd be 'certified insane' if he ever toured with the Police again, and he is.
LP and I are going to see them in July in St. Louis and I just made one of the wealthiest men in Britain richer.
I'm still reeling at how much the tickets were, but I've got my priorities. Not clothes, shoes, expensive cars, just concert tickets. God what a complete dork. At least I'm not investing in comic book conventions--yet anyway.
In other splurge-worthy news, LP and I bought a Total Gym last night. I've been wanting one for a long time, and of course I wanted to tricked out model, but could not afford it (as I had tickets to the Police to buy!). I tried it this morning, and it was a pretty good workout. My goal is to lose 20 'post-baby' pounds by June 1st. I have to be in shape to run in the Susan Komen 5K by June 17. It's not even an option to lose any less. I WILL lose 20 lbs. I have no choice.
Since having Makenna I've been inundated with infomercials at 4 a.m. feedings on TV, and the Total Gym was always one of them, endorsed by none other than Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley. In honor of Chuck and his amazing abilities, I will re-post some of the lesser-known Chuck Norris facts:
LP and I are going to see them in July in St. Louis and I just made one of the wealthiest men in Britain richer.
I'm still reeling at how much the tickets were, but I've got my priorities. Not clothes, shoes, expensive cars, just concert tickets. God what a complete dork. At least I'm not investing in comic book conventions--yet anyway.
In other splurge-worthy news, LP and I bought a Total Gym last night. I've been wanting one for a long time, and of course I wanted to tricked out model, but could not afford it (as I had tickets to the Police to buy!). I tried it this morning, and it was a pretty good workout. My goal is to lose 20 'post-baby' pounds by June 1st. I have to be in shape to run in the Susan Komen 5K by June 17. It's not even an option to lose any less. I WILL lose 20 lbs. I have no choice.
Since having Makenna I've been inundated with infomercials at 4 a.m. feedings on TV, and the Total Gym was always one of them, endorsed by none other than Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley. In honor of Chuck and his amazing abilities, I will re-post some of the lesser-known Chuck Norris facts:
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
- Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
- Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
- In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Whiners of the Day
Today's post is dedicated to people who have nothing better to do than whine.
Our focus today is the critics of the Pizza Hut Book-It program.
If you are not familiar, Pizza Hut has an incentive program for kids in schools. If they read X amount of books a month, they receive a free pizza, and if they read X amount at the end of the year they get a very cool certificate and recognition from their peers as being a kick ass reader.
NOW though, some wiley folk have decided that it is promoting OBESITY and that we should not be bribing our wee children with food that just may cause them to become fat.
Okay, we all know a lot of pizza is not good for you. We get it.
But first of all, they give you ONE certificate a month, and they expire after that month. So it's not like you can save them all up and have an all out Pizza Bonanza until you puke your guts out. And I'm fairly certain that most parents are not apt to indulge in that much pizza anyway. Americans eat 3 BILLION pizzas a year people. It's not like they aren't eating it.
In the 4 years that my eldest has been in the program, I think we've used the certificates for pizza MAYBE 3 times. Seriously. But I have two types of children. One who reads constantly and I have to yell her name like a recorder over and over again before she acknowledges me, and then I have another child who believes she may catch cooties if she even TOUCHES a book. So the Book-It program has been a proud accomplishment for one child, and a HUGE incentive for my other to read at least 10 books a month.
It's not the pizza that is the incentive. It's getting the certificates. Dumb-asses.
Hm. I think we'll be having pizza for dinner tonight.
Our focus today is the critics of the Pizza Hut Book-It program.
If you are not familiar, Pizza Hut has an incentive program for kids in schools. If they read X amount of books a month, they receive a free pizza, and if they read X amount at the end of the year they get a very cool certificate and recognition from their peers as being a kick ass reader.
NOW though, some wiley folk have decided that it is promoting OBESITY and that we should not be bribing our wee children with food that just may cause them to become fat.
Okay, we all know a lot of pizza is not good for you. We get it.
But first of all, they give you ONE certificate a month, and they expire after that month. So it's not like you can save them all up and have an all out Pizza Bonanza until you puke your guts out. And I'm fairly certain that most parents are not apt to indulge in that much pizza anyway. Americans eat 3 BILLION pizzas a year people. It's not like they aren't eating it.
In the 4 years that my eldest has been in the program, I think we've used the certificates for pizza MAYBE 3 times. Seriously. But I have two types of children. One who reads constantly and I have to yell her name like a recorder over and over again before she acknowledges me, and then I have another child who believes she may catch cooties if she even TOUCHES a book. So the Book-It program has been a proud accomplishment for one child, and a HUGE incentive for my other to read at least 10 books a month.
It's not the pizza that is the incentive. It's getting the certificates. Dumb-asses.
Hm. I think we'll be having pizza for dinner tonight.
Monday, March 05, 2007
hodge Podge
I love going on trips and have a lot of pictures available to add that extra spice to my posts. Just like Emeril adds spices to his creation, I shall do with mine. BAM!
Have I ever mentioned my love of roller coasters? Yep, I'm a big fan of the coasters. I try to ride one every single place we go. This is the Manhattan Express at NY NY in Vegas. It was actually one of the better coasters I've ridden. Great view. I almost didn't even mind that it cost $12 to ride it.
I also rode the "Big Shot" at the top of the Stratosphere. It's not a roller coaster--they used to have one up there but tore it down. My husband has a huge fear of heights so he did not choose to come along. I went with two of my good friends, Aaron & Phil. I've ridden rides like the Big Shot before, just not on top of a large needle-like building. Basically you sit on these chairs around a large pole, with your feet dangling (No flip flops--TKW would have a problem). Then they just thrust you into the air, and you bounce back down to Earth (could I have any more innuendo in this description? Probably not). Here's the view from the top of the ride:
heh heh, no just kidding. But dammit it felt like we were that high.
The ride itself wasn't all that scary. It really wasn't. What was scary was later when I was at home at the computer, and I looked up the Stratosphere on Wikipedia, and learned that I rode a ride that was TWICE THE SIZE as the Gateway Arch. !!!!!!!! WTF!!! Gateway Arch: 630 feet. Stratosphere: 1,149 feet!!!!I drive by the Arch at least two or three times a month. I KNOW how freaking tall it is. And I was moronic enough to stand outside a building and ride a flippin' unenclosed thrill ride on my own volition.
So needless to say, LP was waiting downstairs afterwards and flatly said to me, "I will NEVER ever allow you to whine or moan about flying in an airplane after you just chose to ride that ride."
Well okay, but it would help if you got me very drunk first.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Expectations and Travel
This is not a pre-thought-out post, so bear with me. I type as I think, it's not good but you'll have to take what you can get here. Miss M only lets me have a few moments to myself.I figured something out: Upon reading other blogs, I realize others travel a HELLUVA lot more than I do. Weekend trips are nothing to many people. Going to Las Vegas for the weekend is a pasttime and doesn't require much thought for some.
But to us, it was a VBD (very big deal). There was a lot of planning, researching, deciding, etc. etc. I put a lot of effort into it. And having done that, before I left I realized one thing:
No expectations. That is the key to happiness.
I took things in stride, and there were a lot (LOT) of small things that could have totally hacked me off but I let them all go. I was on vacation after all, with the man I chose to be with for the rest of my life, celebrating 10 years of that.
It was a blast. I had a great time.
We didn't do all that much, but just hanging out (no kids) and being with my friends (no kids) and my husband (and no kids) was just all I needed (sleeping in with no kids and lots of lovin').
As the minister said, we needed to recharge our batteries. Truer words could not have been said. And trust me, LP did a LOT of recharging, va-va-va-VOOM! heh heh.
When you are with a bunch of people it is inevitable that someone is not going to be happy but there was no way I could let that prevent myself from having fun. Again, expectations.
LP and I have decided we need to do that a lot more than every 4 years and plan to probably make it a yearly event, not necessarily to Vegas but at least somewhere sans children. I also realized all I have to do it drink a bottle of wine before takeoff and flying is easy breezy for me.
In conclusion? Drinking is fun. Wear comfortable shoes REGARDLESS of how awesome those kick ass Michelle K shoes look like, bring lots and lots of one dollar bills, you won't make everyone happy, and just keep smiling.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
It is Official
I believe I have garnered the award for Most Puking in One Year.
If you recall, I started out 2006 with the stomach flu. Then in February I became pregnant with Little Miss M, and for 40 weeks threw up on a regular basis (in a port-a-potty no less). Well, for my 10th wedding anniversary I kept the good times a coming, and my streak has yet to end.
Wednesday LP and I decided that instead of spending mucho $$ on a stupid dinner where we'd have to wait for hours, we'd just go to a local Chinese buffet with the kids.
Where else can you get sushi for $7.95?
Red flag right there, right? Like, hello, I should have totally thought that out before eating RAW FISH from a place that advertises the lowest prices in town. Not a good idea on my part.
While we were sitting there, LP and I observed a guy with an Afro the size of my youngest offspring go up to the buffet with a COMB stuck in his hair, 'adjust' the comb, then help himself to some fried rice.
Another red flag here: Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, sit directly in site of the buffet table.
Next we observed a woman head for the buffet.
This woman was plump, and in any other setting I may even say she looked jolly and sweet. She had a knitted hat on, adorned even with the cute little pom poms hanging off the ends.
But she had HAIR.
Lots and lots and lots of orange, frizzy, unkempt HAIR.
And instead of taking her cute little Mrs. Claus hands and moving her mass of locks behind her shoulders, she instead thought it necessary to leave her locks covering her jolly bosom.
Right smack dab into the Egg Drop Soup.
So it really isn't a big surprise at all to me that about an hour later I was hurling my sushi roll into the toilet. Again. I spent my f**king 10 year anniversary curled up in a ball in my bathroom, puking my guts out.
And then it occurred to me.
I was doing this EXACT same thing 10 years ago to the day!
Cripes!
If you recall, I started out 2006 with the stomach flu. Then in February I became pregnant with Little Miss M, and for 40 weeks threw up on a regular basis (in a port-a-potty no less). Well, for my 10th wedding anniversary I kept the good times a coming, and my streak has yet to end.
Wednesday LP and I decided that instead of spending mucho $$ on a stupid dinner where we'd have to wait for hours, we'd just go to a local Chinese buffet with the kids.
Where else can you get sushi for $7.95?
Red flag right there, right? Like, hello, I should have totally thought that out before eating RAW FISH from a place that advertises the lowest prices in town. Not a good idea on my part.
While we were sitting there, LP and I observed a guy with an Afro the size of my youngest offspring go up to the buffet with a COMB stuck in his hair, 'adjust' the comb, then help himself to some fried rice.
Another red flag here: Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, sit directly in site of the buffet table.
Next we observed a woman head for the buffet.
This woman was plump, and in any other setting I may even say she looked jolly and sweet. She had a knitted hat on, adorned even with the cute little pom poms hanging off the ends.
But she had HAIR.
Lots and lots and lots of orange, frizzy, unkempt HAIR.
And instead of taking her cute little Mrs. Claus hands and moving her mass of locks behind her shoulders, she instead thought it necessary to leave her locks covering her jolly bosom.
Right smack dab into the Egg Drop Soup.
So it really isn't a big surprise at all to me that about an hour later I was hurling my sushi roll into the toilet. Again. I spent my f**king 10 year anniversary curled up in a ball in my bathroom, puking my guts out.
And then it occurred to me.
I was doing this EXACT same thing 10 years ago to the day!
Cripes!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
12 Weeks
Well Divine Miss M, today you are 12 weeks old. I would write this next week when you 'officially' turn 3 months old, but my guess is that your momma will be too busy packing away all the trashy linger-ee (what your poppa calls it) for my trip to Vegas. And if that last sentence doesn't tell you how much I need to get away, well, then you're too young to understand.You have your good days and your bad, just like all of us. Friday you cried pretty much all day long, and I almost lost it and drove the minivan straight off a cliff, but in Illinois a cliff was tough to come by. They don't let you open the windows at the top of the Arch, so that wasn't an option either.
Your smiles absolutely melt my heart. See above for reference.
What's up with the not sleeping during the day at all? I think the longest nap you've had was 20 minutes. I guess that I traded naps for you sleeping through the night, I'll take it!
Yesterday I did something incredibly tragic. You were fussing a bit so I set you in your Bumbo in front of the monitor and put on "Boohbah". You were entranced. They are like Teletubbies on acid, which is almost an oxymoron. Whoops! It was really funny to watch such a young baby be thrilled at weird blobs of goo the way you were though.
I knew having a little baby would be hard, and getting used to a car seat all over again has proved to be challenging, but when I get you dressed in the morning and you are wiggling your little feet and making noises, it reminds me again why I started all this in the first place.
**************************
Tomorrow is my 10 year wedding anniversary. I hope I get some sushi!!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
Never gonna keep up
Why do I feel so guilty when I haven't blogged? Ahh yes, my Catholic upbringing. Gotta love the guilt.
Yesterday I RAN 2 miles for the first time in over a year. Yes it almost took me 25 minutes but who cares. I ran. It felt SO liberating. For some reason I was under the assumption that my gym only took babies after one year old, but I called and they said "six weeks". Damn, so I could have been running my buns off on a treadmill for over a month now? Oh well. Better late than never. It felt so goooooooooood. I have to get back into shape to run the Susan Komen Race for the Cure in June, it's a tradition, and last year was my first time missing.
Have I mentioned lately how awesome it is to NOT be pregnant? And how annoying it is to hear people say, "Oh, my pregnancies were all very easy." Yeah, well suck it. I read on Klog's blog the other day a quote from Katie Couric, "When you're not dealing with health issues and not feeling terrified every day, you don't appreciate how lucky you are." That is so true. Throwing up every single day and feeling just icky for 9 months (40 weeks) I now appreciate that I don't feel that way anymore and am able to let a lot of things slide right off my shoulders!
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I bought my dress to renew my vows in. It is so va-va-va Voom and I love it. You can see it here. Of course I will look exactly like the model wearing it when I wear it. And a few teenage girs were trying on prom dresses when I was and I told them I was going to prom with my much younger boyfriend. One of the girls said, "I didn't doubt it for a second." I love girls with a sense of humor.
I also tried Mystic tanning for the first time last night. Hoo boy. Nobody told me how freaking COLD it was. I had to bite my lower lip to hold in my scream! I didn't wipe my wrists well enough apparently, and I had a throwback to 1987 when Q-T was the rage and my hands turned orange. But I'll get it right next time, and by Vegas I'll look somewhat normal. As normal as I can get, anyway.
Makenna is doing well, she is turning 12 weeks old next week and has finally understood the concept of day=awake, night=sleep. That's a good step, next will be to hold her own bottle, so as to not interrupt my very important game of Mah Jongg. What? You're 3 months old in this house you'd better be able to feed yourself by golly!
Tonight is yet another trivia night. Last time I went to one it was the day before my due date, and I was having labor pains. This time I plan on having some other excuse for not knowing what the name of the first railroad was. Wish me luck!
Yesterday I RAN 2 miles for the first time in over a year. Yes it almost took me 25 minutes but who cares. I ran. It felt SO liberating. For some reason I was under the assumption that my gym only took babies after one year old, but I called and they said "six weeks". Damn, so I could have been running my buns off on a treadmill for over a month now? Oh well. Better late than never. It felt so goooooooooood. I have to get back into shape to run the Susan Komen Race for the Cure in June, it's a tradition, and last year was my first time missing.
Have I mentioned lately how awesome it is to NOT be pregnant? And how annoying it is to hear people say, "Oh, my pregnancies were all very easy." Yeah, well suck it. I read on Klog's blog the other day a quote from Katie Couric, "When you're not dealing with health issues and not feeling terrified every day, you don't appreciate how lucky you are." That is so true. Throwing up every single day and feeling just icky for 9 months (40 weeks) I now appreciate that I don't feel that way anymore and am able to let a lot of things slide right off my shoulders!
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I bought my dress to renew my vows in. It is so va-va-va Voom and I love it. You can see it here. Of course I will look exactly like the model wearing it when I wear it. And a few teenage girs were trying on prom dresses when I was and I told them I was going to prom with my much younger boyfriend. One of the girls said, "I didn't doubt it for a second." I love girls with a sense of humor.
I also tried Mystic tanning for the first time last night. Hoo boy. Nobody told me how freaking COLD it was. I had to bite my lower lip to hold in my scream! I didn't wipe my wrists well enough apparently, and I had a throwback to 1987 when Q-T was the rage and my hands turned orange. But I'll get it right next time, and by Vegas I'll look somewhat normal. As normal as I can get, anyway.
Makenna is doing well, she is turning 12 weeks old next week and has finally understood the concept of day=awake, night=sleep. That's a good step, next will be to hold her own bottle, so as to not interrupt my very important game of Mah Jongg. What? You're 3 months old in this house you'd better be able to feed yourself by golly!
Tonight is yet another trivia night. Last time I went to one it was the day before my due date, and I was having labor pains. This time I plan on having some other excuse for not knowing what the name of the first railroad was. Wish me luck!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
10 Stinkin' Years
More scannin' y'all...
I had one month to plan this wedding. We wanted to get married on Valentine's Day since that was the day we'd met, and it was Christmas when I got my first ultrasound and LP so romantically said to me, "You have GOT to get on my insurance." Hence the rush to complete the nuptials.
I got my dress off the rack at Penny's, as I wanted an empire waist so not to draw attention to my cute ever-growing belly and look way too close to the video for "Keep Your Hands to Yourself".
We got the rings at a store called "Grandpa's" and the flowers were done by Michael's. I was all class, baby.
We were married in front of about a dozen relatives at LP's grandma's church by Brotha Andy.
*(please note this as it is foreshadowing for a future post/whinefest of mine)
We went to my mom's house afterwards to eat cake, open gifts and toast to our future together.
Then we went out to dinner, had chicken of which I proceeded immediately afterwards to rid myself of by projectile vomiting. Good times!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Scanner Say Qua
Remember yesterday how I mentioned LP bought a new printer? Well, not only is it a printer it is also a copier, fax machine and scanner!!
We got rid of our old scanner about 5 years ago, so up until now I've been unable to do any scanning. Don't know why we never got around to buying one, there was just no need I guess.
But NOW! Woot I'm going to be the Scanning Queen, young and sweet only 17....(dah doo dah doo dah doo dah dooooo).
I grabbed the nearest picture and scanned it immediately. I'm so excited now I can participate in "Way Back Wednesday" and finally show the world how cool I was in 1989. Oh, no wait, that's really not going to happen. I was not so cool in 1989. Well, a girl can dream.
Oh, and in other news it is Rug's birthday!! She got two Webkinz for her birthday and was pleased as a peach pie. (Alliteration, all the cool kids do it.) And if your kid does not have a Webkinz, I suggest you go get one. My children are addicted, and so am I. Check it out!
Onto the picture:
Could I be any paler? It reminds me of a quote I heard on "Real Housewives of Orange County" or whatever it's called. The woman was moving to Chicago because she had a history of skin and cancer "there's only sunshine 3 months a year" here in Illinois. WTF??
Happy 7th Birthday Rug!!!!
(taken on her first day of 3 year old preschool, I could cry--but look how tan she is! Those three months of sun sure do make a difference huh.)
Thursday, January 25, 2007
The School Project
The Project: Make a float about a state. Al got California. It is due today of course.
Saturday: "When are we going to start on my project?"
"We'll go tomorrow to get the supplies."
Sunday: "Mommy!"
"Shhh. Mommy went out last night. We'll do it later."
Sunday evening: "Oh shit. The stores are closed."
Monday evening: "Oh shit! The printer broke!"
Last night, the day before it is due:
4:30 p.m.- LP arrives home, to find me desperately trying to apply pipe cleaners onto a shoebox. He tries to cop a feel, I punch him.
5-6 p.m. – Soccer Practice. I stay at home, desperately trying to apply pipe cleaners. Frigging pipe cleaners!
6-6:30 p.m. – Dinner. LP and I stage a "California Fact" Dance Off to see who has the better ideas. Ironically enough we come up with pretty similar facts.
6:40 p.m. - LP decides to go and BUY A NEW PRINTER. Oh I wish I was joking.
6:30-7 p.m. – More pipe cleaner application. To no avail. Wrap the shoebox, apply foam backing that does not stick. A lot of cursing. Rug is getting in the way, still singing High School Musical songs from the concert Monday night.
(*side note* The concert was SO much fun, and the girls had a blast. And Mommy enjoyed the boy who replaced the original Troy, who is busy off shooting a remake of "Hairspray" ***shudder** another frickin remake!)
7-8 p.m. – The new printer is calibrating.
8:10 p.m. – Still calibrating.
8:15 p.m. – Friggin calibrate already!
8:25 p.m. – LP stomps off as I get anxious with him trying to apply text to a picture and he is taking for-ev-er. Hello? We have NOTHING done. The picture can wait!
8:30 p.m. – Divorce proceedings begin.
8:35 p.m. - LP and I are laughing hysterically as we both attempt to provide spellings for 'sequoia'.
8:40 p.m. – Al starts crying because “You and Daddy aren’t taking this seriously and I’m going to FAIL!”
8:50 p.m. – I figure out a way to put those pipe cleaners on. Just shove them in the box!
8:55 p.m. – All the pictures are printed out! Woo hoo!
9:00 p.m. – The Golden Gate Bridge is sagging. Let me rig something up.
9:15 p.m. – One more interesting fact and…..WE ARE DONE!!
Hooooooooly Cow that was a task.
This morning on the way to school the Golden Gate Bridge fell down. I'm sure Fergie will do a song about it.
Saturday: "When are we going to start on my project?"
"We'll go tomorrow to get the supplies."
Sunday: "Mommy!"
"Shhh. Mommy went out last night. We'll do it later."
Sunday evening: "Oh shit. The stores are closed."
Monday evening: "Oh shit! The printer broke!"
Last night, the day before it is due:
4:30 p.m.- LP arrives home, to find me desperately trying to apply pipe cleaners onto a shoebox. He tries to cop a feel, I punch him.
5-6 p.m. – Soccer Practice. I stay at home, desperately trying to apply pipe cleaners. Frigging pipe cleaners!
6-6:30 p.m. – Dinner. LP and I stage a "California Fact" Dance Off to see who has the better ideas. Ironically enough we come up with pretty similar facts.
6:40 p.m. - LP decides to go and BUY A NEW PRINTER. Oh I wish I was joking.
6:30-7 p.m. – More pipe cleaner application. To no avail. Wrap the shoebox, apply foam backing that does not stick. A lot of cursing. Rug is getting in the way, still singing High School Musical songs from the concert Monday night.
(*side note* The concert was SO much fun, and the girls had a blast. And Mommy enjoyed the boy who replaced the original Troy, who is busy off shooting a remake of "Hairspray" ***shudder** another frickin remake!)
7-8 p.m. – The new printer is calibrating.
8:10 p.m. – Still calibrating.
8:15 p.m. – Friggin calibrate already!
8:25 p.m. – LP stomps off as I get anxious with him trying to apply text to a picture and he is taking for-ev-er. Hello? We have NOTHING done. The picture can wait!
8:30 p.m. – Divorce proceedings begin.
8:35 p.m. - LP and I are laughing hysterically as we both attempt to provide spellings for 'sequoia'.
8:40 p.m. – Al starts crying because “You and Daddy aren’t taking this seriously and I’m going to FAIL!”
8:50 p.m. – I figure out a way to put those pipe cleaners on. Just shove them in the box!
8:55 p.m. – All the pictures are printed out! Woo hoo!
9:00 p.m. – The Golden Gate Bridge is sagging. Let me rig something up.
9:15 p.m. – One more interesting fact and…..WE ARE DONE!!
Hooooooooly Cow that was a task.
This morning on the way to school the Golden Gate Bridge fell down. I'm sure Fergie will do a song about it.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Just a Quick One
Has anyone noticed how alike 2 month babies are to sloven frat boys? My daughter is sitting here on my lap after her bottle completely wasted as if to say, "Duuuude, I just slammed that, I've gotta crash." Plus she farts a lot.
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, and blogging has taken a backseat. It seems like a lot of the blogs I used to read are going away as well. I hope I do not have to threaten some of my favorite reads if they too decide to call blogging a defunct pasttime (Mrtl, TKW, Kristine and Kalki--I'm talking to you!). And by threaten I mean threaten to subject them to emails filled with angels and fairies and Neiman Marcus cookie recipes. Beware!
In the meantime, I've booked my flight and hotel for Vega$. We are staying at Bally's and renewing our vows at the Wee Kirk O' The Heather Chapel. I booked it because it sounded Irish, but turns out it's actually Scottish. But what do I care, I'm mostly German anyway.
LP & I have decided to walk down the aisle to the Wedding March from Flash Gordon and leave to "Welcome to the Jungle". It only seems appropriate.
I'm really excited, as LP & I have never been to Vegas and we have an entourage of about 12 other people going with us. LP & I do not gamble, but we do engage in other risky businesses so we plan on having a great time.
10 years is a long time to be married, I don't care who ya are. And considering that 10 years ago I was 4 months pregnant, I think it's cause for celebration--especially because 50% of our wedding guests did not give us very good chances of us making it past one year. Yet here we are, with a 2 month old to boot!! (not that I would boot her, she's pretty cute.)
Speaking of, my camera is working fine but the software to download pictures is on the fritz, that is why no recent picture of Miss M. But trust me she is growing too fast already!
Well if anyone has good Vegas advice, please fill me in. And no we will not be needing any coupons for the "Chicken Ranch" thankyouverymuch.
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, and blogging has taken a backseat. It seems like a lot of the blogs I used to read are going away as well. I hope I do not have to threaten some of my favorite reads if they too decide to call blogging a defunct pasttime (Mrtl, TKW, Kristine and Kalki--I'm talking to you!). And by threaten I mean threaten to subject them to emails filled with angels and fairies and Neiman Marcus cookie recipes. Beware!
In the meantime, I've booked my flight and hotel for Vega$. We are staying at Bally's and renewing our vows at the Wee Kirk O' The Heather Chapel. I booked it because it sounded Irish, but turns out it's actually Scottish. But what do I care, I'm mostly German anyway.
LP & I have decided to walk down the aisle to the Wedding March from Flash Gordon and leave to "Welcome to the Jungle". It only seems appropriate.
I'm really excited, as LP & I have never been to Vegas and we have an entourage of about 12 other people going with us. LP & I do not gamble, but we do engage in other risky businesses so we plan on having a great time.
10 years is a long time to be married, I don't care who ya are. And considering that 10 years ago I was 4 months pregnant, I think it's cause for celebration--especially because 50% of our wedding guests did not give us very good chances of us making it past one year. Yet here we are, with a 2 month old to boot!! (not that I would boot her, she's pretty cute.)
Speaking of, my camera is working fine but the software to download pictures is on the fritz, that is why no recent picture of Miss M. But trust me she is growing too fast already!
Well if anyone has good Vegas advice, please fill me in. And no we will not be needing any coupons for the "Chicken Ranch" thankyouverymuch.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Making Me Laugh
Rug telling me that since her friend, Antoinette, has such a difficult name to pronounce, she decided to just call her Aunt Tuna.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I've Got Something to Say!*
Lots of thoughts are running in my head but I must gather them and organize them first before I spill them out for all to see. So in the future you will get to hear:
* how I spent my New Year's (not real exciting but whatever)
* How I'm going to lose my baby weight and then some
* All about our forthcoming trip to Las Vegas
* What to do for Mardi Gras this year
* How things are going with Miss M
* Soccer, basketball, priests and $800 (they all connect, I assure you)
* What happens when you put a 6-year-old on an electric scooter and point her towards the Christmas Tree
But in the meantime, I have to share two articles I have read this morning that so accurately depict my feelings on things, I almost jumped into my computer screen to hump each one of the authors. There, that should give you a nice mental image huh.
First of all, over at Kami's I got to read a speech by one Mr. Keith Olbermann. I was at more than one party over Christmas (because I'm a partying fool now that I can drink Blue Moons) in which more than one discussion/argument/donnybrook insued regarding the War in Iraq. Keith eloquently explains my feelings on the subject, and I thank him for that, and invite him to the next party I go to. But he has to bring the artichoke dip.
This morning, LP sent me a link to our favorite ESPN writer's article on Mark McGwire, and why he should be inducted into the Hall of Fame. As a Cardinals fan, this issue especially hits home for me (pun sadly and poorly intended). He is so right on when he describes the feeling after the baseball strike, and how Mark & Sammy reignited our love for baseball. We took Al to see him & the Cards in June 1998 on her 1 year birthday, and although he didn't hit a homer that day, you could just feel the excitement when he was up to bat. Do I think he cheated? Well, sort of. But I think the media has cheated him more. I'd vote for him, only if it's because I was there in 1998 and I remember the feeling I got watching him hit that home run to beat Maris' record, and just like Sports Guy says, THAT is what Cooperstown is about. Hell, it's what's baseball is about. And for all of you Chevrolet-loving, John Cougar-loving, My-country loving people out there, it's what America is about.
Alright people! Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.
* how I spent my New Year's (not real exciting but whatever)
* How I'm going to lose my baby weight and then some
* All about our forthcoming trip to Las Vegas
* What to do for Mardi Gras this year
* How things are going with Miss M
* Soccer, basketball, priests and $800 (they all connect, I assure you)
* What happens when you put a 6-year-old on an electric scooter and point her towards the Christmas Tree
But in the meantime, I have to share two articles I have read this morning that so accurately depict my feelings on things, I almost jumped into my computer screen to hump each one of the authors. There, that should give you a nice mental image huh.
First of all, over at Kami's I got to read a speech by one Mr. Keith Olbermann. I was at more than one party over Christmas (because I'm a partying fool now that I can drink Blue Moons) in which more than one discussion/argument/donnybrook insued regarding the War in Iraq. Keith eloquently explains my feelings on the subject, and I thank him for that, and invite him to the next party I go to. But he has to bring the artichoke dip.
This morning, LP sent me a link to our favorite ESPN writer's article on Mark McGwire, and why he should be inducted into the Hall of Fame. As a Cardinals fan, this issue especially hits home for me (pun sadly and poorly intended). He is so right on when he describes the feeling after the baseball strike, and how Mark & Sammy reignited our love for baseball. We took Al to see him & the Cards in June 1998 on her 1 year birthday, and although he didn't hit a homer that day, you could just feel the excitement when he was up to bat. Do I think he cheated? Well, sort of. But I think the media has cheated him more. I'd vote for him, only if it's because I was there in 1998 and I remember the feeling I got watching him hit that home run to beat Maris' record, and just like Sports Guy says, THAT is what Cooperstown is about. Hell, it's what's baseball is about. And for all of you Chevrolet-loving, John Cougar-loving, My-country loving people out there, it's what America is about.
Alright people! Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.
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