LP really, really wants another kid. It is a fight that has been going since the day after my youngest was born. That was almost 6 years ago. Who knows, maybe he will win the fight. But not yet. Anyway, I remember how it felt and I still have mixed feelings about it...I loved having a baby doing somersaults in my abdomen, but on other days I felt like just sitting around eating ice cream.
The only time my husband came close to getting shot was the day he told me, "You know, if you exercise more during pregnancy, labor will be quicker!"
Yeah, he almost lost a specific body part on that one.
So today since I could not come up with my own top 5, is this jewel list I found over at TopFive. Enjoy! Oh and by the way, my youngest was also born 4 days before the Rams won the Superbowl in 2000. I cut it close, I know. But he showed up, I was happy!
The Top 16 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."
"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"
"I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
"Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"
"Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
TopFive's Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...
"You don't have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass."