Bald Tang Zyne

Each day I intend on blogging but it never ends up on the screen. There are a million posts stuck in my head, but they are doomed to be imprisoned in my brain next to all my Brady Bunch knowledge.

So guess what? You know all those newsletters you always get in Christmas cards that you just LOVE to read? Yeah, me too....ok, they are awful, and no one likes to read them. That's why I decided to go ahead and recap the year on my blog today! Because honestly, what else do you have to do, party? Come on. We're old. We don't party any more. I'm having people over tonight and you know what we will probably end up doing? Playing Guitar Hero. Such is my life.

On with the shew...........

JANUARY



Makenna is 2 months old and we pretty much don't do much the entire month. Oh, sure, lots of soccer, but other than that, nada. Even Rug's 7th birthday was pretty much a bore, she'd say so herself! oh but LP took this great picture of me...he is such a great photographer. You can certainly tell his priorities with this one.



FEBRUARY


Gettin' re-hitched in Las Vegas was one of the best times we've had. I am looking forward to going back that's for sure. I must make sure we do stuff that actually should stay in vegas though.

MARCH


March sucked. Guess they all can't be good. At least losing your loved ones allows you to open up and love even more.

APRIL



Oh yay my first Cardinal game in the new stadium! So much fun. Then I become even Steven as Al tells me she hates baseball (thus tearing my heart out and smashing it to the ground) but at the same time Rug starts playing baseball and LOVES it. My heart will go on, Celine. The Cards went on to disappoint this year, but that is OK because Yadier never let me down.

Is anybody still reading? I didn't think so.

MAY


The big soccer win--hey, when you are a soccer Mom, this is the highlight. We also learned on this trip, that it does not matter how many Renuzits you buy, if someone has pretty much soiled or killed something in your hotel room before you, it will not get the smell out. Maybe try Glade.

JUNE


June was a weird, roller coaster month for me. My grandma died, I saw the 'real' side of some friends, I lost my JOB in a sense, and Rug got a major screwdgy, as we call it. On the other hand, we went to Gulf Shores (so fun), Al's birthday was a blast, I lost 15 lbs. and Rug got an even better opportunity than the first. It was almost like an after school special, June. "Life can suck, but it can also turn out rosy in the end!" Or something like that. It's been awhile since I've watched an after school special, so my analogies aren't so hot.

JULY


This is getting harder than I expected. July was hard to recall. I do know I get my first paycheck from my new job and LP framed it. You think I'm kidding, I know, but you've read my blog long enough, right? He's a bit off.

AUGUST



We start buckling down on the house hunting, and come up short. This year will be full of big decisions in that arena. After trying to find our dream home, we have since decided to just build it. I could use some corny "Field of Dreams" bit here, but it's too early in the a.m. for that. Also, in August my kids start back to school and I regain some of the sanity lost from the summer. I cry when Al reads "Are you there God? It's Me Margaret." This may seem trivial to you, but in the span of things it is a HUGE deal to me. For Pete's sake my baby now knows about maxi pads people!!! MAXI PADS! ARGHGHGHGH!

SEPTEMBER


I believe I got to eat some sushi for my birthday, so it must have been a good month. Miss M is all over the place, crawling and trying to walk. It is a darn good thing I don't mail these suckers out at Christmas because I'm awful at it.

OCTOBER


Miss M breaks in 3 teeth in one week. I don't think I could forget that if I tried. We had a trip to Davenport Iowa, which I don't think I could remember if I tried. Although AL's team did get 2nd place overall, so that was cool. Halloween was much better this year, the girls had a blast and I got some good candy, and it is all about me, in case you were wondering. Right now Miss M is putting a wire that may or may not be plugged in into an empty Dr. Pepper can. I might need to intervene. Oh and this month we got a Wii on ebay, which will bring great joy to our kids in December. Also, LP decides to have a mid-life crisis, which is still ongoing and will most likely end in March with the purchase of a new car. I hope.

NOVEMBER



Already a year old?? Well, this picture defines how awesome my life is! Though I would suggest for the 1 year birthday cake to NOT use pink icing, it ends up looking like a bad rash.

DECEMBER



This month brings great snow and a lot of fun chasing the now mobile Miss M around the house. Her favorite activity? Playing with empty Dr. Pepper cans, as previously mentioned. Christmas was one of the best this year. We were able to get everyone exactly what they wanted, whether they knew it or not. And Santa brought a Wii, how crazy is that? I might just have to return the one I bought...

So that is it. 2007 is almost over and I was able to sum it up in one post. Sad? Maybe. Lazy? Definitely.

We are going to be gone soon for Disney World, also making that stop in Atlanta I told you about, and I will try to post but it is not on my New Year's resolution list to spend even MORE time at the computer, so I am not going to bank on it. Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year and for Hoss, Rabbit Rabbit and all that.

MWAH!

This Picture is Not what you Think it Is

At first glance this may look really disgusting, but in reality it's my one year old getting into the snack cabinet and sitting on an opened bag of peanut brittle. Velour pants are very good for keeping the brittle saved for later.




I'd hate to bore you with the going ons in my life, as there is plenty. With all the crazy things going on, my main focus that keeps me sane is our impending (AND ALREADY PAID FOR) trip to Disney World. I'm certainly ready to visit the Happiest Place on Earth that is for sure. I am bummed though, because I learned a few fellow bloggers will be there the week after we are there...that would have been so cool to get to meet them, oh well...I certainly don't plan on this being my last trip there!

LP and I are feeling sort of 'us against the world' lately. I think this comes hand in hand when your children go to a private school and you are surrounded with the same people 24/7. We just need a break from things. Not sure if we are going to make this a permanent break, since LP could possibly be transferred to Atlanta. That is still in the works.

So again, don't want to bore you. Hope the magic of the holidays reaches each and every one of you! (assuming I have more than one reader!)

This Guy Has Brought Back My Hope for Humanity

Dad is pissed and is taking names.


We need more Dads like this.

Back in Black

This is the song that was on the radio this morning my children made me TURN DOWN when I was taking them to school. Oh, the horror! Rug said to me, "Aren't you 34? Well you are acting like a 24-year-old!".

Harumph. They'll be telling me to put on a sweater and shut the door, did I grow up in a barn soon enough!

Miss M has mastered the walking business...well, we are calling her Herman Munster because she walks just like she has cement shoes on. The screaming has become an issue...it's funny yet ridiculous when I take something away from her she lets out this banshee wail that I know the neighbors have to hear. This morning she had a blow out so severe there was poop on her SHOULDERS. I don't even know how that HAPPENS.

Last week was the Christmas Bazaar, in which I am the Grand Mom-pah of. It went much smoother this year, most likely due to not having been in labor the week before like I was last year. Not a good idea. It is over and all the children have loads of lead-filled items to place under the tree.

So this week it will be very, very difficult for anyone to get me out of my sweats. Well...there is one person...but I'm pretty David Beckham is busy this week.

Elfing Around

Happy Thanksgiving, some elves that are fooling around just for you!

Vomitus

Trying to find a picture of all 3 of the girls has proved impossible...but this pic of Miss M describes the details of my life at this point.

Still trying to get over this thing my doctor has dubbed "just the way Jana is built". I'd love to see him deal with eating a hamburger at a new acquaintance's house and having to immediately use the restroom, and not wanting to destroy any semblance of future invites due to what will go in the restroom, make up a stupid excuse to leave because you want to go home and use your OWN bathroom where all is safe and, well, this is already too much information. I've been trying to adjust my diet and it looks like I'll be eating leaves and bananas for the rest of my life.

The main reason I started this blog was to document the going ons of my family. Shows you how awful I am...Miss M took her first steps last week. Tuesday. She of course, will only take them if I'm on one side and LP is on the other, any other set up and she refuses. Who could blame her? Her steps are hilarious, and she would much rather jump face first into the carpet than move her feet. And she thinks that is So funny. She also got a 'one year old' car seat, so now she can see how bad a driver her Mommy truly is. And, to top the weekend off, she dropped a can of soup on her foot. Painful yes, but fortunately this was the only injury of the week, which was much better than the week before when we called Poison Control twice and a keyboard fell on her head.

Third children, they are tough.

Since this past weekend was a 4 day weekend for the kids, and NO soccer (woo hoo!) I demanded forced family Time and we played "Guesstures" which is basically charades with cards. Rug was on LP's team, but I was helping her with the reading. The card she got said "Vomit" and she chose that. WHen it came to act it out, she started holding her nose and waving her hand near her butt. I looked quizzically at her. Apparently she thought 'vomit' was another word for 'fart'. Yes, I'm teaching them so well.

And lastly, we had Parent Teacher conferences. Both girls got straight A's, but now that Al is in 5th grade she gets on the Honor Roll.

I usually check her homework, but I don't check math anymore as she was getting a few B's on it after I'd checked it. So LP started doing it, and last week when he checked it, she got a 'C'. Well, that didn't fly with him and he had to make sure they were checked correctly, because, God forbid, he be wrong! And, as it turned out, she got 2 right that were marked wrong (by a classmate). in our conference, her teacher brought this up, and told us that Al had told him, "my Dad refuses to be wrong." Hilarious.

At Rug's conference, she had to write a story about why she was thankful for her family. She wrote: "I'm thankful because they always forgive me when I get in trouble."

Oh, no truer words have been said.

Teething babies ain't for wussies

Everyone in the SayQua household is sick. Papa is congested and everyone in the 10 block radius knows about it. When he is sick, the world comes to a screeching, undeniable halt. Tip toeing on feathers and clouds would not be a good enough route to take when he is trying to sleep.

Rug and Al, both begged Mom this morning to let them stay home, due to the sniffles and what not.

Momma said no way, two tests apiece and I ain't studying for them twice. Get ta school. Off they went.

So, through all of this, Momma has been having some serious intestinal problems which may or may not be treated with chalky pink liquids or just being within 4 feet of a lavaratory at any given moment. So severe, Momma is going to a doctor next week for some testin'.

Aye, but I digress.

Miss M has been the toothless wonder long enough, apparently. She has decided in the past week to sprout not one but THREE teeth, back to back. I'm in teething Hell.

Tonight, after all the other SayQuas had taken their Nyquil and settled down for a long seems-like-winter nap, Miss M starts screaming. Wailing. Squealing. For OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF she screams.

I finally couldn't take it anymore and went into LP's den of wooziness (we were in the living room) and woke him up to tell him I wanted to take her to the hospital.

By the time we got to the couch she was FAST ASLEEP.

Sleeping like a baby, as it were.

Now everyone is asleep. But me.

For the record, if anyone asks in the future, this would be the night my downward spiral into insanity began. Yep.

Everybody Hurts

This past week I have been such an Eeyore regarding my situation. I've been very, very sick and therefore have not slept well. LP was out of town so everything was on my shoulders and all in all I was quite irritating to be around.

I was sent this video today on a Professor's Last Lecture.

I don't think it was coincidence. I'm not a fan of Oprah's at all, but I think this guy has the right idea.

I'll be Tigger from now on.

Why wouldn't I be? Look at the goofballs I live with:

11 Months

This weekend is going to be yet another whirlwind. I stayed up late last week to watch "Click" with Adam Sandler, and although it was very cheesy, I could relate to his mind set. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward through things, but I know i'd end up missing a lot. It's hard to slow down and enjoy!

Biggest news out of this weekend...we're going back to Disney World!!!!!! I could burst. LP and I were discussing doing a 'mini-trip' there next year since we're wanting to go on a cruise just the two of us, but want to do a family vacation also...and then Rug got invited to be on a soccer team in a Disney tournament in January!! It's really exciting. We get discount hotel accommodations and Rug gets to play soccer in the Happiest Place on Earth. What more could a soccer Mom ask for?? I'm already working on my strategy because with a 13 month old along things will definitely have to be modified! I have started to write a list of characters I didn't get to see last time that I'm hoping to see again. Oh yeah, it's for the kids...that's right. Whatever! I have already made reservations for a character breakfast. I know, get a life, right? Well, it could be worse...I could be a Yankees fan.

Monday feels like...Monday

Well we are back from Bettendorf, Iowa with 2nd place for Al in a soccer tournament. Saturday morning Miss M woke up before everyone else so I took her to the lobby so the other SayQuas could sleep. On the table was a history of Bettendorf Iowa.

I read it in 20 minutes! :) Not much going on up there!

But it was pleasant, and they had a SUPER Target, one of which I'd never seen the likes of. I in fact was not aware there was such a thing as "Super" Target, so you could imagine my elation. LP enjoyed the "Dick's Sporting Goods" more, and slid a Columbia jacket into my cart whilst I was in the checkout and didn't know it.

A few hours later, there was a homeless man on the side of the road wearing same jacket. Interesting to note. It was on sale.

Also, on our way home, (approx. 4 hours, lots of corn but very pretty as the leaves are changing) our brains now have burned the image of a very large 200+ pound older woman on the side of the road with her pants off apparently having an episode of...well, let's just say she needed to go real bad...I don't know that we shall ever speak of it again.

And last of all, I will leave you with a joke I heard that made me chuckle:

What did Jesus say to the Cubs?

"Don't do anything until I get back"

Not the One and Other Things I am behind on

So disappointed in my house. It was supposed to be the One!! It was by far the worst and cluttered-est floor plan we've seen to date. 5 bedrooms in a ranch is usually not a good idea, especially if you take space from the kitchen to do so. It was awful.

I did not feel defeated however. I know that if it's meant to be, it is meant to be. Both LP and I felt this as a sign that maybe, perhaps, we should stay put. Attempt to rotate the girls sharing a room, since Miss M will be big enough to be in a bed by next year. I asked Al if she thought she could take it, sharing with Rug until Miss M turned 2, and she said 'as long as I don't have to find Caprisun wrappers in the corner every day'. Spoken like a true woman.

We are going to go ahead as planned with trying to sell the house though, after we fix a few more things (such as the drywall). But if more things keep popping up, we will drop it altogether. We are going to give it until March. If Al survives living with rug that long.

*************************************************

Al has recently been obsessed with Harry Potter. When it first came out, she was little so it meant nothing to her, and of course I was chasing a punk baby around so I never read the books. Now Al is reading all the books back to back, and then watching the movies as well. It's all Harry Potter, all the time around here. We are not one to be to date with the trends, people.

Now some boys at school have told her about the Potter Pals, and for days my kids have been belting this nice ditty out 24/7.

It's no wonder I'm slowly losing my marbles.

If that is not enough to satiate your YouTube viewing for the day, you can always check out The SNL Harry Potter skit with Lindsay Lohan. Hee-larious.

I'm outta here this weekend...but be sure that I'll be watching SNL with the Foo Fighters Saturday night...regardless of what time zone I might be in. :)

Lyrical Gangster

My mom gave me the pics from my Yee Haw birthday. Note Bud sign and no shoes on the bambino. Could I get any more Britney? Yes I could...I didn't get my license renewed for over a week after it had expired.

I wish I had time to tell you of the many adventures in House-getting-ready-to sell-but-not-quite-there-yet but it would just take too long and I think you may laugh your sides off. And sides keep you together.

Let me put it to you this way. Even Tim the Tool Man Taylor wore goggles when he drywalled. LP does not. Eye flushing was a huge part of our weekend.

last week my realtor sent me a new listing and I had a feeling about it. I drove out to see it, and it is my house. It is a new build, but we are still going to see the inside tomorrow night. The drywall isn't even up yet. Hopefully THEY wear goggles when they put it up.

So give me all your good Mojo Jojo because I want this to be THE ONE.

I promise to even put shoes on the munchkin.

Total Mom Post

Miss M has been a pretty good sleeper, albeit a light one. For awhile all I'd have to do is plop her in her crib at 10 a.m. for her morning nap, switch on the Aquarium and she'd be out in 30 seconds flat.

Now that soccer has begun, our schedule is totally out of whack on the weekends, so it usually takes her until Wednesday to get back into it. Not so good. Also, LP has a thing he has to do every night, that is, rock her to sleep. Every night. Therefore, Princess thinks this is the way it should go all the time.

Sorry, but Mommy's busy. You know, looking at houses, checking up on blogs, natch.

Today I stuck her in at 10:45 hoping for a miracle. The Aquarium's batteries are dead. I told myself I'd give it until 11:00 and I'd rescue her from her misery.

10:57 she was out. Woo hoo!

Also, I had to do the Heimlich maneuver on her this morning. She choked on a penny. Great. She has in addition, discovered how to UNLOCK the screen door and get out. I found her halfway across the back patio the other day.

This is what they call 'testing me'.

Um, what the hell?

A kid my daughter's age gives birth????? WTF???

What I did this weekend, Haiku style

Friday Wal-Mart trip
I still forgot to get bread
My life is so lame.

Fell asleep at nine
Long ago Friday meant bars
I like to have sleep.

Pancakes for breakfast
The weather is so pretty
Ran out of syrup

Soccer games galore
Al has handball in the box
Bad call but they win

Clean up the basement!
The realtor is coming soon
Polly Pockets gone.

Yay I get sushi!
Which roll do I like the best?
Mmm I'd say lobster.

The Landing is nice
Drinking wine and watching the
Bachelorettes get drunk

Sunday more soccer
The parents are so crazy
They are only 10!

Time to wind it down
Read Olivia to Rug
That girl is so fun!

Life can be a bore
I'm so glad that there's haiku
Appreciate more!!!!

Pet Peeve #5,328

When I have been obviously scouring the house clean all morning, having already made breakfast, bathed baby, started, switched and folded laundry, took out the trash among several other things not meant for Sunday mornings, say to me,

"I need you to do me a favor."

And then expect a jovial and compliant response as opposed to a sarcastic one in return.

Not. Going. To. Happen.

Strange Times

well I was supposed to be in Kansas City tonight watching David Beckham play soccer. But since he is now in the DL list, that was not going to happen. But today apparently his dad has had a heart attack and he had to fly to the UK to see him. Hope he is OK. Heaven knows if I see video of David crying, well, that will be all that is left of me.

Guess what I did for my birthday? Oh my goodness. My parents wanted to take me out to dinner and suggested something that ends in "Roadhouse". Now, being a child of the 80s, first thing that popped into my head was, Patrick Swayze doing hot shirtless yoga. Uh, yeah, not so much. This was a peanuts on the floor, loud Toby Keith playing, roadhouse. I was not happy. Plus my mother insisted on telling the cowgirl waitress it was in fact my 34th birthday and she replies that all birthday cowgirls have to ride the saddle.

Excuse me?

The table next to us was also having a birthday, and to my HORROR, I saw them wheel a saddle in front of the table and force the woman to ride it and shake a napkin in the air, while she announced to the crowd it was "Charlene's ____ birthday let's all give her a rowdy YEE HAW!" and of course, like cattle do, the place erupted in a sing song "YEE HAW" for poor Charlene.

Bonus for me though. I have a 7-year-old daughter who was more than willing to substitute saddle riding for me. Unfortunately, my mother insisted I do the napkin waving. YEE HAW!!!

All this, and I realize that the guy I had a super crush on in high school was the manager of the joint, watching me the entire time.

On the way home, it occurs to me I have not had cake. So I make LP stop off at the gas station so I can at least have some chocolate, for Pete's sake (yee haw).

I walk in and there is a cute, waifish girl searching the candy section. She says to me, "My boyfriend told me I have to come out with either candy or liquor." I told her it was my birthday and I didn't get cake. We met eyes, feeling sorry for each other simultaneously.

As I walked out with my Reese's peanut butter cups, she wished me a happy birthday. It was the nicest gesture I'd had all day.

Yee haw.

So today...

Today is International Tool day. Feel free to make any jokes there you want.

George Gerswin was born on this date.

So was Olivia Newton John.

And Serena Williams.

And me!!!!!

Wild weekend

Well, she figured out how to move the gate. So we finally moved the cat food downstairs. I was worried that the cats wouldn't get it, and it's still confusing them quite a bit but I think they will get a handle on the situation shortly. They're cats, it's food, they will figure it out.

The Italianfest was this weekend, and though there ain't a spot of Italian in either LP or myself, we got our drink on. In the Midwest, you really don't have to have a reason to drink, but we like to make up reasons to celebrate. I so love Blue Moon. Deelish, but will hit ya hard. There was a drunk gal in the bar we ended up with, wearing a tiara and apparently drinking alone, and she insisted on dancing with all of us. I like those kinds of gals. Especially when she is belting "Love Song" by Tesla at the top of her lungs, while normally would be unacceptable, in that setting is welcomed with open arms.

It's the week of my birthday and I will be having sushi by the weeks' end! Hopefully red velvet cake, too. That would be great for the anniversary of my 29th birthday.