Thursday, November 10, 2005

Vajana's Corner of Wisdom

When I was in college, I was convinced I would never have children. Never, never never. First of all, I thought it cost too much, and I thought the world was too violent, too cynical, too...awful to bring more humans into. I had decided I would just be the cool 'aunt' to all my friend's kids and take them to my lake where I had sea doos and jet skis and what have you, cuz, well, I didn't have KIDS so I could spend my money on such things.

I also thought kids just WHINED way too much. I used to work at a daycare, and I would see the fussing and the whining, and the sheer lack of discipline parents had on their kids, and decided that child rearing was not for me.

And Barney, he was a HUGE birth control pill. I hated Barney. That purple freakin' dinosaur was a mockery in the face of Big Bird.

Sleeping was also a big factor to consider. I Looooooooooooved to sleep. Some weekends I would wake up, eat dinner only to just go back to sleep. If I wanted to take a nap, I WOULD. With kids, yeah, that wasn't going to happen.

So I went on, firmly deciding that I would not have kids, and get my ph.D in whatever I wanted and travel the world and ladee dah.

Then I met LP.

And what happened? Well, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. He was the One. This did not happen overnight mind you, it took a little while. But I knew. And, knowing that, I guess I figured I didn't have to be careful. But I shoulda. And I didn't. So the stick turned pink and all hell broke loose.

I was pregnant, and sick, and I couldn't tell anyone. He wanted to get married, I wasn't sure, I didn't know what to do. We weren't living together at the time, I was still living at home.

Then I had a miscarriage.

And it was THEN I realized, we loved each other. He was awesome and supportive of me throughout the entire ordeal. And it did not matter what happened, as long as we were together.

So guess what. I got pregnant. AGAIN. Two weeks later!!! On purpose. Everyone thought we were crazy, but they didn't even know I had been pregnant before. And do you know that NO ONE knows this story? No one but me, LP and now the internet. I never told anyone. I planned on telling Al, just because I want her to know she was loved from day one.

But I am really going off on a tangent here. My point is this...Kids completely and totally change your perspective on EVERYTHING. It makes you selfless. It teaches you how to treat others. It makes you realize that person you made fun of in 4th grade was someone's child and if that happened to YOUR kid you would THROTTLE someone. Kids teach you to lighten up. They teach you that you would absolutely trade a night's sleep for a night of snuggling with the smell of a newborn. That for all the whining, the sound of a 2-year-old singing makes up for it. Kids remind you that making funny noises and faces is still funny. They let you relive a little bit of your own childhood. They also make you respect other people's opinions than your own, cuz usually your kids have the exact OPPOSITE opinion that you have!!

When Al was around 18 months old, I was doing the dishes and "Sesame Street" was on. I was too busy to realize it was OVER, and the next show came on.

Yep. It was Barney. She was immediately hooked. She loved Barney.

Kids. Man, do they change your life.

They make it brighter.

(Thanks to Bug for totally inspiring this post)


Nessa said...

Barney rocks! What a sweet family you have and what an awesome story!

mrtl said...

This couldn't have come at a better time for me. Bug has annoyed me beyond belief this afternoon, and I was seriously about to scream or lose my mind.

Lighten up, indeed. I must remember that.

Vajana said...

Nessa: thanks. I am still very glad the Barney years are over.

MRTL: Hey, I never said I don't have moments of pure unadulterated rage though. It's just much better than I thought!

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