Difference

3 years ago on my birthday we went to NYC. Then we had a big party with friends, went out drinking and I got a kickass SLR camera for a present.

This year, not so much.

I get to take my kid to soccer practice. I got a body pillow and a crock pot as gifts.

Saddest thing is, I was REALLY EXCITED to get the pillow and crock pot.

Whew getting old puts the F-U in FUN.

Old pictures

I found a disk with some old pictures on it, circa maybe 2001-2002. This was around the time I was at my full Stay at Home Momness. These were some of my favorite times.

Nice wifebeater there LP.

Ahoy maties, red flag ahead

Did everyone enjoy Talk Like A Pirate Day yesterday? Good. I love to spend my afternoon discussing latitude and longitude with my 4th grader while incorporating treasure, gold and walking the plank into my conversation. Lovely.

A few days ago, Dooce was talking about deal breakers on dates. While all were very entertaining, I admitted to myself that I must have had pretty low standards. When I met LP, I broke so many of my dealbreakers it's not even funny (hello, he watched wrestling. WRESTLING.) But i've also been married for 9 years and 7 months so I must have done something right. And even though I didn't date a whole heck of a lot, I can recall not thinking it that big of a deal if a guy was 10 minutes late. You just never know how long that inning is going to take, ya know?

So I give you my top 5 deal breakers of dating, if I was in fact single and even knew what I was talking about, which I so totally don't:

P.S. (please refer to this post on my dating experiences, they are few but note worthy)

5. Any type of drug usage, especially when you discuss it with me on the first date. That was fun when we were in high school, but seriously? A guy who snorts a line when he's got a mortgage just is NOT husband material. Bleh.
4. Not that this ever happened to me, but someone who would answer his cell phone during the middle of a date conversation would infuriate me. Um, that is so showing my age, but when I was dating, cell phones were still the ones in the bag in your car. But it's still rude, I don't care how socially acceptable cell phones are nowdays.
3. Bad breath. Just....no.
2. Sycophants. Oh my gosh it is okay for you to have an opinion. Just because we're on a date does not mean I would get offended if you disagreed with me. Guys who say, "I'm not really into haiku writing," and I respond, "Oh, i love to haiku!!" and then they say, "Yeah, haiku is pretty fun." No, that will not fly with me. Grow some. Have an opinion please. (side note though--haiku probably isn't something you discuss on a date, but haiku rocks!)

and my #1 dealbreaker if I was dating and needed to have a deal broken:

1. Someone who tells you they 'love you' or have a 'connection' with you too soon.
I am not someone who has ever worn their emotions on their sleeve. I believe in order to be truly connected to a person, you really need to spend a good amount of time with said person. I do have an uncannily good judge of character, but that does not mean you know me after one date. Don't tell me you love me or that we were meant to be. Because it usually isn't true. I've had guys say this when I thought, "This guy is crazy!" and then I've been schnookered into believing it by another guy who was boinking someone else at the same time.

It took LP and I 3 months of 'getting to know you' time before we realized one night we were in love. It wasn't love at first sight. We went to Wal-Mart to buy a fan and sat outside eating potato chips together, and in one cosmic moment we both knew. That's how it's supposed to happen, folks.

And LP has NEVER written me a haiku.

Books I won't be reading to Makenna

33

Reason #4,608,000 why you kick ass:

When I asked you where you want go to out to dinner for your birthday, you replied,

"Nowhere. All I want to do is order in some Chinese food and hang out with you and the girls."

Happy Birthday to my own personal hairy monkey.

Conversation

AL: "Mom, remember when I asked for help with my reading homework and you gave me the answer?"

Me: "Yes."

Al: "Well, it was wrong. It was 'bait', not 'freight.'"

Me: "Oh?"

AL: "But I don't feel bad for you. Hunter's mom got it wrong too."

Me: "Gee, thanks."

Al: "I meant, don't FEEL bad. Cuz you got it wrong."

Me: "Right."

LP: (laughing) "Yes, she won't feel bad about getting YOUR homework wrong!"

Rug: "Oh, yeah that's is just CLASSIC."

Me, LP, Al: ?

Libra sun

Fall is my favorite season. I love the smells, the tastes, the overall feel of it. My birthday is in fall, pumpkin carving, chili cook offs and hayrides are just my idea of perfect activities. I have a candle someone bought me a few years ago called 'Spiced Cider" that just sums it all up. LP said he read somewhere that smell is the strongest memory one can have. I believe it. Fall is an olfactory heaven for me.

I am feeling pretty good these days, considering that is. I'm still not jumping or doing somersaults, but I am able to do a little more. I actually took a walk the other day with the family, that was nice. We spent this past weekend cleaning up the house, which sounds totally boring but it brought me great satisfaction. Instead of agreeing to eight million get-togethers, we stayed at home as a family and spent some QUA-lity time together. Fantastic. The crib isn't up yet and we still don't have a car seat, but we're at least somewhat on our way to baby-dom.

I've been looking all over for that perfect 'coming home' outfit for Makenna. I can't seem to find one. I still have the outfits Al and Rug wore home from the hospital, and they ain't much. Poor Al ended up in a onesie because the outfits I brought were just too big. Rug wore one of those gowns, which was perfect. I want something nicer for Makenna, and it hasn't caught my eye yet.

And readers, the last two paragraphs are the reason why I have not updated my blog. Pregnancy has made me a bore. I never wanted this blog to be a pregnancy blog, because, unless you're pregnant, it's not that interesting. And unfortunately from this pregnancy there isn't much i can be nostalgic about. So I've decided to leave you with some pictures. Of some of the blogs I read, I notice that when they don't have a lot to say, they just take pictures. I'd do this if I had a kickass camera and any abilities whatsoever, but I don't. Maybe I'll persue it more once the baby is born, but not now.
So I'm leaving you with my Smurf collection. Remember when I said some day I'd take a picture of them but they are at my mom's? Well, we were there and I took some pictures. I also have this cool vintage McDonald's that I played with constantly as a child and still have all the parts to. Now my kids play with them and they love it when I talk in 'smurf'. I even added my Playmobil people AND am AtroSnick (McDonald's Smurf from the 80s). Enjoy!!!

And have a smurfy day.