SPF: Worst Morning Ever.

Kristine wants us to utilize the things that annoy us and create them into SPF art. Well, let me tell ya sumthin. This morning has caused me to cry on two separate occasions, and it is only 11:00 a.m. I have only had 3 hours of sleep (yes, I had a soda yesterday with caffeine, I know, my own fault. But there could have been soemthing better on at 2 a.m. ya know? Help a sister out.) and upon waking up discovered my land phones do not work therefore I cannot dial into work and earn money today and make my livin'. I dropped the kids off only minutes before the bell, only to have to drive 40 minutes away to drop my van off for repair (it stopped working...yeah just like my iPOD. Only the van is still under warranty, which is the only thing I have going for me today....ahhh tangent) and have some JERK cut me off in traffic and almost cause me to wreck, while my cell phone battery goes dead and I realize I left my debit card at home AND I am almost out of gas, and then halfway home I then realize I left the GARAGE DOOR OPENER in my van at the mechanic and have no way of getting into my house.

*Deep breath*

So I call LP and I have to go downtown St. Louis to get his opener, and using a 'short cut' I get lost in Brooklyn (Jbo--remember East St. Louis is the ghetto? Yeah, Brooklyn is the ghetto's ghetto) and I completely lose it, only minutes later does the highway sign lead me back onto salvation and over the bridge. Ohmigosh.

I hadn't eaten BREAKFAST yet people. I am 7 months pregnant. AND i had to pee.

Needless to say, SPF isn't going to be imaginative today. It's going to be old pictures. But I WANT to play. I NEED to play. Having missed out on the last two weeks (which were awesome themes) I am GOING TO PLAY.

So here we go. I know you in no way needed those last paragraphs in your day, but it makes me feel a hell of a lot better to get it off my chest. My 7 month pregnant, large lactating chest. OK.

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME and will someone please give me the go ahead to have a beer even though I am pregnant? Please?:

1. No, it's not my kids. It's my in-laws. This was taken at their house, so I thought it was the least incriminating picture I had. It's funny too, because when we first got married, they were the 'nice' in-laws. I had NO inkling of the terror that would ensue in years to come. I believe they are the reason Xanax was invented in the first place.














2. My Space:


You have seen this picture before, it is my den. I LUV my den and it is here where I am forced to watch "Phil of the Future" and "That's So Raven". (okay, I admit it...I totally think Phil is cute) It is so cozy and as soon as I am done with this I am going to sack my preggo patoot right there.






3. Things that annoy me part 2:

I miss running 5ks. I miss lifting weights. I miss waking up at the butt crack of dawn to go running. I miss my stomach muscles. I miss feeling OK when I wake up. I miss sushi. I miss having a beer. A glass of wine. A shot of something. I miss seeing my feet. I miss my cute, non-swollen feet. I really miss sushi. I miss being able to brush my teeth without gagging. (I don't miss my period) I miss being able to sneeze without peeing in my pants. I miss bending down and picking up something I dropped without it being a major occasion. Okay I think that's enough for now. *Disclaimer for those who have never been pregnant: This is my third. The other two were not like this. Not even remotely. I was singing and painting rooms two days before delivery with the other two. This one not so much. But damn I miss sushi.

Umm, kay, hope I didn't just give my cloud to y'all. I'm not usually this negative. Been a long mornin! Have a great weekend everyone!

School is back, so is the quiet

Today the girls got up very, very early for their first day of school. This will never happen again until the last day of school.

I can't believe they are this old. I just can't.

Summer Reading

Life is crazy. I just can't keep up. I probably won't be blogging much, but I will try to comment still on everyone else's blogs.

Last night I finished "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt. My mother gave it to me, and when I told LP's aunt I was reading it she said, "Ugh...how depressing." I usually don't take other people's reviews of books too seriously, and I am glad I didn't with this book. It was compelling to say the least.

My grandfather grew up poor with an alcoholic father, so there were many similarities between the two. At one point I knew my grandpa was shipped off to live on a farm with a distant relative when my great-grandmother was sent off to the sanatorium. If it weren't for the military, who knew where he would have ended up.

Right before he died, I was over at his house and discovered that he had all his pictures stuffed into shoeboxes of different sizes. I remember spending many nights going through pictures, trying to figure out who the faces were. My grandpa would laugh and say, "I can barely see them, and your grandma can't remember them!" The pictures were so interesting to me, and the stories he told about some of the faces were mesmerizing.

That's what Angela's Ashes brought back to me. It is pretty depressing, because he lived such a squallor life until he came to America. But I guess in essence it is also a success story, as he went on to be a teacher and author. It also reminded me of all the stories older people have to share, but few listen to.

After finishing the book, I went straight to my favorite innernet and Googled "Duplex Planet."

When I was in high school, my brother, who, as crazy as he is, always introduced me to the coolest stuff...Robert Crumb cartoons, Bob Dobbs, Toad the Wet Sprocket...he gave me a book of Duplex Planet for my birthday. I was completely enthralled.

"Duplex Planet" is an ongoing project by David Greenberger. He more or less listens to elderly people and gets their viewpoints on many different subjects. It is humorous, but it's also to show how much we take for granted those viewpoints and disregard such an integral demographic of our society.

It will make you laugh, and also make you miss those days with your grandparents, when they talked about walking to school uphill both ways in 10 feet of snow.

Now the next question is...what book do I read next???

Heard of Girls Gone Wild?

Well this is Muppets Gone Wild:

Muppets Grow UP

MySpace for Dummies

A few years ago, a good college friend of mine invited me join a website to 'stay connected'. I did, just because I rarely talked to her and it was a good way to stay in touch.

Yes, it was Myspace.

Fast forward to now, and that place is like a dance club that stays open later than the other bars and is where everyone goes when they haven't scored yet at the bars they have spent the last 5 hours getting tanked. It's where inhibitions go to die. (if you're familiar with the St. Louis area, Myspace is the "Oz" of the internet. 'Nuf said.) It is a whorehouse. A meat market. Thank Gilligan's Island my daughters are not old enough for it yet. I started blogging here because of it, because a guy messaged me asking me to be 'his' soccer Mom. WTF?

A few weekends ago, LP and I went out with another couple and had a discussion about MySpace. My girl friend was talking about one of her friends who has gotten so caught up in MySpace, you walk in on her and can find 8-10 instant message conversatons going on at one time, all with guys she met on MySpace. Oh and yeah, she is (was) married. MySpace destroyed their marriage.

LP was aghast! He had heard of MySpace but has actually never been on the site. I thought for sure he was kidding, because MySpace is in essence free (albeit soft) porn for all to view. And I know LP. ESPN ain't all he lookies up on the internet.

So yesterday, my sister-in-law emails me with a link to a MySpace page of a guy I knew and unfortunately, I FORMERLY DATED. He was, well, he was dirty. Remember when I said my ex-boyfriend has my name tattooed on his chest? Well this clever ex has a Tasmanian Devil playing HOCKEY on his arm. Oh classy. Yes, I know you are jealous.

LP came home last night and I had to show him the page. Which was a mistake, because I more or less popped his MySpace cherry and he went looking for anyone he could possibly find (just to make fun of, I'm guessing). He discovered, as I did, that most MySpacers are really the people you never want to run into after high school. It is a very small population of 'normal' ones out there.

Later on, I asked LP what he thought of his MySpace experience. He responded, "Well, it doesn't seem too different from blogging, really."

WHAT!!!!!!!!! Shut yo mouth with that talk. I might just go make you get a tattoo of my face on your chest for that one!

lacking

There is just too much going on for me to blog. Unfortunately I'm not one of those blogs that people wait with bated breath for a post, so it causes me sometimes to be a slacker. Plus I'm a "Mommyblogger" I guess, and I would really love to steer clear of all THAT broo-ha ha.

I've got enough in my real life to deal with! :)

LP threw his back out again and has been on Vicodin again, but we still had to have the girls' room painted by this weekend, so he's in there doing it. My house is a complete tornado of a mess, and I would really like to hire one of those professional organizers. It's killing me.

In the meantime though, I have been thoroughly enjoying EtiquetteHell. There have been some 'issues' with the baby shower some friends want to throw me, and I try to live as drama-free as I can, and from this website I see that I have it much better than off than some! Although I could write in about how my MIL gave me their rocking chair as a 'handed down' gift for my baby shower with Al, only after about 10 months she asked for it BACK, telling me it was never mine to 'keep'...and then selling it at a yard sale a few years later. That's gold right there. I wasn't sure what to put in her baby book as to what gift we received from them...'rocking chair that was on loan'???? Loony!

School starts in 2 weeks, and I would like to say things are getting slower but they've just started to pick up. It's Soccer Season. For us Soccer Moms that means focusing on the sidelines because, according to some, it's all we have in our sad, pathetic lives and we have to cling onto it and pretend we are happy even though we *really* aren't. Heh, it's too bad I truly am happy. I guess I'll have to live with it. :)

Hope everyone has a drama free, hate-free weekend!