hodge Podge

I love going on trips and have a lot of pictures available to add that extra spice to my posts. Just like Emeril adds spices to his creation, I shall do with mine. BAM!

Have I ever mentioned my love of roller coasters? Yep, I'm a big fan of the coasters. I try to ride one every single place we go. This is the Manhattan Express at NY NY in Vegas. It was actually one of the better coasters I've ridden. Great view. I almost didn't even mind that it cost $12 to ride it.

I also rode the "Big Shot" at the top of the Stratosphere. It's not a roller coaster--they used to have one up there but tore it down. My husband has a huge fear of heights so he did not choose to come along. I went with two of my good friends, Aaron & Phil. I've ridden rides like the Big Shot before, just not on top of a large needle-like building. Basically you sit on these chairs around a large pole, with your feet dangling (No flip flops--TKW would have a problem). Then they just thrust you into the air, and you bounce back down to Earth (could I have any more innuendo in this description? Probably not). Here's the view from the top of the ride:

heh heh, no just kidding. But dammit it felt like we were that high.

The ride itself wasn't all that scary. It really wasn't. What was scary was later when I was at home at the computer, and I looked up the Stratosphere on Wikipedia, and learned that I rode a ride that was TWICE THE SIZE as the Gateway Arch. !!!!!!!! WTF!!! Gateway Arch: 630 feet. Stratosphere: 1,149 feet!!!!

I drive by the Arch at least two or three times a month. I KNOW how freaking tall it is. And I was moronic enough to stand outside a building and ride a flippin' unenclosed thrill ride on my own volition.

So needless to say, LP was waiting downstairs afterwards and flatly said to me, "I will NEVER ever allow you to whine or moan about flying in an airplane after you just chose to ride that ride."

Well okay, but it would help if you got me very drunk first.

Expectations and Travel

This is not a pre-thought-out post, so bear with me. I type as I think, it's not good but you'll have to take what you can get here. Miss M only lets me have a few moments to myself.

I figured something out: Upon reading other blogs, I realize others travel a HELLUVA lot more than I do. Weekend trips are nothing to many people. Going to Las Vegas for the weekend is a pasttime and doesn't require much thought for some.

But to us, it was a VBD (very big deal). There was a lot of planning, researching, deciding, etc. etc. I put a lot of effort into it. And having done that, before I left I realized one thing:

No expectations. That is the key to happiness.

I took things in stride, and there were a lot (LOT) of small things that could have totally hacked me off but I let them all go. I was on vacation after all, with the man I chose to be with for the rest of my life, celebrating 10 years of that.

It was a blast. I had a great time.

We didn't do all that much, but just hanging out (no kids) and being with my friends (no kids) and my husband (and no kids) was just all I needed (sleeping in with no kids and lots of lovin').

As the minister said, we needed to recharge our batteries. Truer words could not have been said. And trust me, LP did a LOT of recharging, va-va-va-VOOM! heh heh.

When you are with a bunch of people it is inevitable that someone is not going to be happy but there was no way I could let that prevent myself from having fun. Again, expectations.

LP and I have decided we need to do that a lot more than every 4 years and plan to probably make it a yearly event, not necessarily to Vegas but at least somewhere sans children. I also realized all I have to do it drink a bottle of wine before takeoff and flying is easy breezy for me.

In conclusion? Drinking is fun. Wear comfortable shoes REGARDLESS of how awesome those kick ass Michelle K shoes look like, bring lots and lots of one dollar bills, you won't make everyone happy, and just keep smiling.

Vegas, we hardly knew ye

And yes, he was looking into my EYES.

more to come!

It is Official

I believe I have garnered the award for Most Puking in One Year.

If you recall, I started out 2006 with the stomach flu. Then in February I became pregnant with Little Miss M, and for 40 weeks threw up on a regular basis (in a port-a-potty no less). Well, for my 10th wedding anniversary I kept the good times a coming, and my streak has yet to end.

Wednesday LP and I decided that instead of spending mucho $$ on a stupid dinner where we'd have to wait for hours, we'd just go to a local Chinese buffet with the kids.

Where else can you get sushi for $7.95?

Red flag right there, right? Like, hello, I should have totally thought that out before eating RAW FISH from a place that advertises the lowest prices in town. Not a good idea on my part.

While we were sitting there, LP and I observed a guy with an Afro the size of my youngest offspring go up to the buffet with a COMB stuck in his hair, 'adjust' the comb, then help himself to some fried rice.

Another red flag here: Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, sit directly in site of the buffet table.

Next we observed a woman head for the buffet.

This woman was plump, and in any other setting I may even say she looked jolly and sweet. She had a knitted hat on, adorned even with the cute little pom poms hanging off the ends.

But she had HAIR.

Lots and lots and lots of orange, frizzy, unkempt HAIR.

And instead of taking her cute little Mrs. Claus hands and moving her mass of locks behind her shoulders, she instead thought it necessary to leave her locks covering her jolly bosom.

Right smack dab into the Egg Drop Soup.

So it really isn't a big surprise at all to me that about an hour later I was hurling my sushi roll into the toilet. Again. I spent my f**king 10 year anniversary curled up in a ball in my bathroom, puking my guts out.

And then it occurred to me.

I was doing this EXACT same thing 10 years ago to the day!

Cripes!

12 Weeks

Well Divine Miss M, today you are 12 weeks old. I would write this next week when you 'officially' turn 3 months old, but my guess is that your momma will be too busy packing away all the trashy linger-ee (what your poppa calls it) for my trip to Vegas. And if that last sentence doesn't tell you how much I need to get away, well, then you're too young to understand.

You have your good days and your bad, just like all of us. Friday you cried pretty much all day long, and I almost lost it and drove the minivan straight off a cliff, but in Illinois a cliff was tough to come by. They don't let you open the windows at the top of the Arch, so that wasn't an option either.

Your smiles absolutely melt my heart. See above for reference.

What's up with the not sleeping during the day at all? I think the longest nap you've had was 20 minutes. I guess that I traded naps for you sleeping through the night, I'll take it!

Yesterday I did something incredibly tragic. You were fussing a bit so I set you in your Bumbo in front of the monitor and put on "Boohbah". You were entranced. They are like Teletubbies on acid, which is almost an oxymoron. Whoops! It was really funny to watch such a young baby be thrilled at weird blobs of goo the way you were though.

I knew having a little baby would be hard, and getting used to a car seat all over again has proved to be challenging, but when I get you dressed in the morning and you are wiggling your little feet and making noises, it reminds me again why I started all this in the first place.

**************************

Tomorrow is my 10 year wedding anniversary. I hope I get some sushi!!

I can't...I can't...

Can I justify spending $200 for a ticket???

Oh hell yeah I can.

THE POLICE TOUR!!

July 2nd St. Louis!!

Never gonna keep up

Why do I feel so guilty when I haven't blogged? Ahh yes, my Catholic upbringing. Gotta love the guilt.

Yesterday I RAN 2 miles for the first time in over a year. Yes it almost took me 25 minutes but who cares. I ran. It felt SO liberating. For some reason I was under the assumption that my gym only took babies after one year old, but I called and they said "six weeks". Damn, so I could have been running my buns off on a treadmill for over a month now? Oh well. Better late than never. It felt so goooooooooood. I have to get back into shape to run the Susan Komen Race for the Cure in June, it's a tradition, and last year was my first time missing.

Have I mentioned lately how awesome it is to NOT be pregnant? And how annoying it is to hear people say, "Oh, my pregnancies were all very easy." Yeah, well suck it. I read on Klog's blog the other day a quote from Katie Couric, "When you're not dealing with health issues and not feeling terrified every day, you don't appreciate how lucky you are." That is so true. Throwing up every single day and feeling just icky for 9 months (40 weeks) I now appreciate that I don't feel that way anymore and am able to let a lot of things slide right off my shoulders!

************************************************************************

I bought my dress to renew my vows in. It is so va-va-va Voom and I love it. You can see it here. Of course I will look exactly like the model wearing it when I wear it. And a few teenage girs were trying on prom dresses when I was and I told them I was going to prom with my much younger boyfriend. One of the girls said, "I didn't doubt it for a second." I love girls with a sense of humor.

I also tried Mystic tanning for the first time last night. Hoo boy. Nobody told me how freaking COLD it was. I had to bite my lower lip to hold in my scream! I didn't wipe my wrists well enough apparently, and I had a throwback to 1987 when Q-T was the rage and my hands turned orange. But I'll get it right next time, and by Vegas I'll look somewhat normal. As normal as I can get, anyway.

Makenna is doing well, she is turning 12 weeks old next week and has finally understood the concept of day=awake, night=sleep. That's a good step, next will be to hold her own bottle, so as to not interrupt my very important game of Mah Jongg. What? You're 3 months old in this house you'd better be able to feed yourself by golly!

Tonight is yet another trivia night. Last time I went to one it was the day before my due date, and I was having labor pains. This time I plan on having some other excuse for not knowing what the name of the first railroad was. Wish me luck!

2 months old

My little buttercup has the sweetest smiiiiiiillllleee.......

10 Stinkin' Years

More scannin' y'all...

I had one month to plan this wedding. We wanted to get married on Valentine's Day since that was the day we'd met, and it was Christmas when I got my first ultrasound and LP so romantically said to me, "You have GOT to get on my insurance." Hence the rush to complete the nuptials.

I got my dress off the rack at Penny's, as I wanted an empire waist so not to draw attention to my cute ever-growing belly and look way too close to the video for "Keep Your Hands to Yourself".

We got the rings at a store called "Grandpa's" and the flowers were done by Michael's. I was all class, baby.

We were married in front of about a dozen relatives at LP's grandma's church by Brotha Andy.

*(please note this as it is foreshadowing for a future post/whinefest of mine)

We went to my mom's house afterwards to eat cake, open gifts and toast to our future together.

Then we went out to dinner, had chicken of which I proceeded immediately afterwards to rid myself of by projectile vomiting. Good times!

Scanner Say Qua

Remember yesterday how I mentioned LP bought a new printer? Well, not only is it a printer it is also a copier, fax machine and scanner!!

We got rid of our old scanner about 5 years ago, so up until now I've been unable to do any scanning. Don't know why we never got around to buying one, there was just no need I guess.

But NOW! Woot I'm going to be the Scanning Queen, young and sweet only 17....(dah doo dah doo dah doo dah dooooo).

I grabbed the nearest picture and scanned it immediately. I'm so excited now I can participate in "Way Back Wednesday" and finally show the world how cool I was in 1989. Oh, no wait, that's really not going to happen. I was not so cool in 1989. Well, a girl can dream.

Oh, and in other news it is Rug's birthday!! She got two Webkinz for her birthday and was pleased as a peach pie. (Alliteration, all the cool kids do it.) And if your kid does not have a Webkinz, I suggest you go get one. My children are addicted, and so am I. Check it out!

Onto the picture:

Could I be any paler? It reminds me of a quote I heard on "Real Housewives of Orange County" or whatever it's called. The woman was moving to Chicago because she had a history of skin and cancer "there's only sunshine 3 months a year" here in Illinois. WTF??

Happy 7th Birthday Rug!!!!

(taken on her first day of 3 year old preschool, I could cry--but look how tan she is! Those three months of sun sure do make a difference huh.)

The School Project

The Project: Make a float about a state. Al got California. It is due today of course.

Saturday: "When are we going to start on my project?"
"We'll go tomorrow to get the supplies."

Sunday: "Mommy!"
"Shhh. Mommy went out last night. We'll do it later."

Sunday evening: "Oh shit. The stores are closed."

Monday evening: "Oh shit! The printer broke!"

Last night, the day before it is due:

4:30 p.m.- LP arrives home, to find me desperately trying to apply pipe cleaners onto a shoebox. He tries to cop a feel, I punch him.

5-6 p.m. – Soccer Practice. I stay at home, desperately trying to apply pipe cleaners. Frigging pipe cleaners!

6-6:30 p.m. – Dinner. LP and I stage a "California Fact" Dance Off to see who has the better ideas. Ironically enough we come up with pretty similar facts.

6:40 p.m. - LP decides to go and BUY A NEW PRINTER. Oh I wish I was joking.

6:30-7 p.m. – More pipe cleaner application. To no avail. Wrap the shoebox, apply foam backing that does not stick. A lot of cursing. Rug is getting in the way, still singing High School Musical songs from the concert Monday night.
(*side note* The concert was SO much fun, and the girls had a blast. And Mommy enjoyed the boy who replaced the original Troy, who is busy off shooting a remake of "Hairspray" ***shudder** another frickin remake!)

7-8 p.m. – The new printer is calibrating.

8:10 p.m. – Still calibrating.

8:15 p.m. – Friggin calibrate already!

8:25 p.m. – LP stomps off as I get anxious with him trying to apply text to a picture and he is taking for-ev-er. Hello? We have NOTHING done. The picture can wait!

8:30 p.m. – Divorce proceedings begin.

8:35 p.m. - LP and I are laughing hysterically as we both attempt to provide spellings for 'sequoia'.

8:40 p.m. – Al starts crying because “You and Daddy aren’t taking this seriously and I’m going to FAIL!”

8:50 p.m. – I figure out a way to put those pipe cleaners on. Just shove them in the box!

8:55 p.m. – All the pictures are printed out! Woo hoo!

9:00 p.m. – The Golden Gate Bridge is sagging. Let me rig something up.

9:15 p.m. – One more interesting fact and…..WE ARE DONE!!

Hooooooooly Cow that was a task.

This morning on the way to school the Golden Gate Bridge fell down. I'm sure Fergie will do a song about it.

Just a Quick One

Has anyone noticed how alike 2 month babies are to sloven frat boys? My daughter is sitting here on my lap after her bottle completely wasted as if to say, "Duuuude, I just slammed that, I've gotta crash." Plus she farts a lot.

I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, and blogging has taken a backseat. It seems like a lot of the blogs I used to read are going away as well. I hope I do not have to threaten some of my favorite reads if they too decide to call blogging a defunct pasttime (Mrtl, TKW, Kristine and Kalki--I'm talking to you!). And by threaten I mean threaten to subject them to emails filled with angels and fairies and Neiman Marcus cookie recipes. Beware!

In the meantime, I've booked my flight and hotel for Vega$. We are staying at Bally's and renewing our vows at the Wee Kirk O' The Heather Chapel. I booked it because it sounded Irish, but turns out it's actually Scottish. But what do I care, I'm mostly German anyway.

LP & I have decided to walk down the aisle to the Wedding March from Flash Gordon and leave to "Welcome to the Jungle". It only seems appropriate.

I'm really excited, as LP & I have never been to Vegas and we have an entourage of about 12 other people going with us. LP & I do not gamble, but we do engage in other risky businesses so we plan on having a great time.

10 years is a long time to be married, I don't care who ya are. And considering that 10 years ago I was 4 months pregnant, I think it's cause for celebration--especially because 50% of our wedding guests did not give us very good chances of us making it past one year. Yet here we are, with a 2 month old to boot!! (not that I would boot her, she's pretty cute.)

Speaking of, my camera is working fine but the software to download pictures is on the fritz, that is why no recent picture of Miss M. But trust me she is growing too fast already!

Well if anyone has good Vegas advice, please fill me in. And no we will not be needing any coupons for the "Chicken Ranch" thankyouverymuch.

Making Me Laugh

Rug telling me that since her friend, Antoinette, has such a difficult name to pronounce, she decided to just call her Aunt Tuna.

I've Got Something to Say!*

Lots of thoughts are running in my head but I must gather them and organize them first before I spill them out for all to see. So in the future you will get to hear:

* how I spent my New Year's (not real exciting but whatever)
* How I'm going to lose my baby weight and then some
* All about our forthcoming trip to Las Vegas
* What to do for Mardi Gras this year
* How things are going with Miss M
* Soccer, basketball, priests and $800 (they all connect, I assure you)
* What happens when you put a 6-year-old on an electric scooter and point her towards the Christmas Tree

But in the meantime, I have to share two articles I have read this morning that so accurately depict my feelings on things, I almost jumped into my computer screen to hump each one of the authors. There, that should give you a nice mental image huh.

First of all, over at Kami's I got to read a speech by one Mr. Keith Olbermann. I was at more than one party over Christmas (because I'm a partying fool now that I can drink Blue Moons) in which more than one discussion/argument/donnybrook insued regarding the War in Iraq. Keith eloquently explains my feelings on the subject, and I thank him for that, and invite him to the next party I go to. But he has to bring the artichoke dip.

This morning, LP sent me a link to our favorite ESPN writer's article on Mark McGwire, and why he should be inducted into the Hall of Fame. As a Cardinals fan, this issue especially hits home for me (pun sadly and poorly intended). He is so right on when he describes the feeling after the baseball strike, and how Mark & Sammy reignited our love for baseball. We took Al to see him & the Cards in June 1998 on her 1 year birthday, and although he didn't hit a homer that day, you could just feel the excitement when he was up to bat. Do I think he cheated? Well, sort of. But I think the media has cheated him more. I'd vote for him, only if it's because I was there in 1998 and I remember the feeling I got watching him hit that home run to beat Maris' record, and just like Sports Guy says, THAT is what Cooperstown is about. Hell, it's what's baseball is about. And for all of you Chevrolet-loving, John Cougar-loving, My-country loving people out there, it's what America is about.

Alright people! Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

2007

Happy New Year from ours to yours.

Here's to a great year and happiness and love in 2007.

But no more being pregnant for me! Woot!!!

For the Rest of Us

Because the airing of grievances is very important.

Get your Pole today!

Happy Holidays

So here's the thing.

During the 9 months of my pregnancy I was miserable. I was nauseous 24 hours a day, tired all the time and extremely uncomfortable. With all that I became a crabby, crabby human being.

I also was very scared.

I was convinced something was wrong with me, with the baby, something horrible and awful was going to happen to me during labor.

I worried day in and day out, about what was wrong with me or the baby, worrying about what would happen. So sure that doom was lurking around the maternity ward corner.

So when Makenna was born, and she was immediately swept away to be shaken and stirred, cleaned up and processed, I cried.

I cried because she was absolutely perfect.

I cried because I immediately stopped feeling sick.

I cried because I knew my days of throwing up after brushing my teeth were over.

I cried because I would be able to sleep on my stomach again!

I cried because I was so grateful.

I cried because I learned again what I knew all along--that worrying is just as effective as chewing bubble gum to solve algebra.

I cried because I am so incredibly blessed in my life.

Pie Misunderstanding

LP tends to use old euphemisms and phrases that you would normally hear coming from an 85-year-old man who spent his life working on a farm. I call these his curmudgeon-isms. The girls and I are all used to it, and it is not unlikely you will hear my 6-year-old say, "Well, six in one hand, half dozen in the other." LP prides himself on these, and sometimes even attempts to make new ones up, causing us all to groan because they are usually pretty pathetic. This is a man who still calls the freezer an 'icebox' and exclaims, "What in tarnation?"

Every now and then, he hears someone yapping and will tell them, "Shut your piehole." Now, he never says this in anger, just usually when Dubya is on TV or when Rug is trying to plead her case when she is up on charges given by her sister that she swung the cat around by her front legs.

The other day, LP, Rug and Al were driving in the car (I'm assuming I was still in the hospital). Apparently the road got very bumpy.

Rug says, "Oh Daddy, this road is so bumpy it's making my piehole feel funny!"

He turned around and said, "What? Why would it make your piehole feel funny?"

She replied, "Well, isn't your piehole your privates?"

LP was silent for a second. "Uh, no it's your MOUTH. Where you would put pi...I am NOT having this conversation with you!"

So all this time Rug thought her piehole was something altogether different. Great, where on earth did she learn that?? The last thing I need is my 1st grader referring to her special purpose as PIE. I've got to pay closer attention to what is going on around here!

I am very interested as to what her idea of shutting her piehole meant.

No wait. I'm really not.

*(the picture is of my neighbor's yard after the ice storm)

Haven't left yet

But we are recovering from last week's ice storm that put us out of power...and of course we're trying to get used to being on 'baby time'!! Things are great, wonderful, awesome. She is such a great baby and I am so blessed.

Will write more soon, hope everyone is well.

Keep on Truckin

Thanks for all the well wishes. Makenna decided to grace us with her first sleepless night last night, so LP and I are recovering. He has taken several weeks off of work so he and I will be able to conquer the sleeplessness together, thank goodness. Plus, well hell I'm used to not sleeping so it's all old hat to me. And now that I'm able to sleep on my belly, that just makes life all that much better.

We got rid of both the older girls last night and LP took me out for sushi. Yum, of course it was absolutely delicious. I got the caterpillar roll (eel, avocado, cucumber) and the dragon roll (oh, more eel, cucumber and avocado!). Then I came home and ate about 5 of those Ferrera Rocher with great gusto and we rented "The Break Up" that we both enjoyed.

Life is good!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope all of your holidays are bright this week. We certainly have a blessing in our lives to be thankful for.

Makenna Say Qua

Saturday would be alright

Happy Feet was cute, but sort of hodge podge. I recommend waiting for the DVD. It was looooong.

We went to a trivia night with some friends last night, I thought I was going into labor but to no avail. I ended up re-visiting the spinach and artichoke dip they served. Yes, it was very disgusting. I highly recommend not doing that to anyone in their 40th week of pregnancy.

So Monday morning I'll be at the hospital, bright and early, to be chemically induced. Just like the other two. No chance of me going into labor and having Zack Morris deliver my baby in an elevator, which, in reality, is how I always envisioned my birth to play out.

Doesn't everyone?

Stick to the Status Quo

Membranes: Sufficiently stripped. (didn't hurt too bad!)

Cramping: None.

Attempts at 'other' labor inducing activities: Several.

Attempts working: None.

*Sigh*

Going to go see "Happy Feet" tonight with the girls. Maybe that'll do the trick.

Disappear

once again Blogger is making my posts disappear. Odd.

Final Countdown!!

Still here...go to the doctor on Thursday though. She said she would 'strip my membranes' to help out...I never had this done before but I'm willing to try. I've heard it hurts like a mother but, I'd like to BE a mother soon so I may just have to do it. I'm quite aware that LABOR itself hurts so we can just assume I'll be in pain sometime during the next week.

I'm gonna go get me a pedicure today.

In the meantime enjoy the Sushi Challenge. I love the fact that the Sushi Chef's name is George.

whoa horsie!!

I can't even begin to tell you the chaos that was last week. I remember saying on Halloween to one of my friends, "Well, at least I can say tomorrow is a new day." Unfortunately the day after wasn't much better.

I'm not kidding! Let me give a snippet of the events that occurred last week. My youngest fell on her head while wearing a hair clip and had it lodged inside her melon, my eldest ran into a wall and bruised her leg and couldn't walk, the mom of the fam we usually go trick-or-treating with had a meltdown and said her husband was leaving her and just started crying right then and there...WHILE we were trick-or-treating...I've somehow caught the flu bug and haven't been able to breathe properly all week.

Remember, that was a snippet. There was a whole bundle of other schmidt that went down.

Oh, and I had not once, not twice but three times had some one tell me they wanted to sit by me so 'they can look skinny'.

I had a bit of a breakdown myself yesterday and cried for a half an hour. LP didn't know what to do with me. I couldn't stop, no matter how I tried. (Did I mention I NEVER CRY???) I completely freaked my kids out. They are sufficiently scarred now.

And TKW, you should be happy to know that since I no longer can wear any of my shoes due to puffiness, I am still wearing flip flops, well beyond November 1st. In your honor, my dear.

But there is hope for a better week this week. We went and bought Makenna a dresser today and have finally put up her crib, so she is ready to join our fam. So all is on the up and up. Yesterday while at Target I saw a Cabbage Patch doll named "Makenna Piper". I figured it was a sign to let my husband have his way, so I think we may change her middle name from Elizabeth to Piper. I can live with that. And no, I didn't buy the doll, I guess I should.

Even though the girls totally got screwed on the Halloween bit this year (hello, they did not get ONE Reese's cup OR a Butterfinger. WTF!) they looked great and were able to at least enjoy dressing up. I promised them next year we would have the Halloween of all Halloweens and they would be the envy of all their friends.

Or at least dammit, I'll buy them the mongo Sam's club bag of Reese's cups.

Dangerous

Happy Halloween! I guess I should be scared, considering I live in the most "dangerous city" in America!! Ha! That is terribly misleading, but I'm not surprised. Of course this information comes days after our big Win, which is also not surprising either, because seriously, getting respect for St. Louis is like getting Paris Hilton to put some clothes on.

We had an incredibly lonnnnng weekend, but it's over so the twitch in my eye is gone now. We did make the time to go downtown to the Parade to watch our boys and celebrate! The atmosphere was amazing, I'm so glad my kids got to experience it:

And we have figured out that Al was born a month after the Bulls won the NBA championship, Rug was born days before the Rams won the Super Bowl, and now Makenna gave us the World Series. But don't think for a second I'll be trying for a Blues Stanley Cup. Not gonna happen.

Today will be spent with lots of partying and lots of makeup. Rug is the Corpse Bride and Al is Medusa--tying snakes into a wig ain't the easiest thing to do but we did it! Have a great Halloween hope it brings lots of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups your way! Which, btw, is yet another cursed thing about being pregnant...I have not been able to eat ANY peanut butter, it totally causes me to have heartburn. Ugh it's almost over! I'm counting the days, and my post-partum meal will consist of a rainbow roll of sushi, a beer, and a Reese's Peanut Butter cup. Now that sounds delicious, right?

Queen said it best...

I

am

Speechless.

Sleepy time

I fell asleep. Again. The top of the 7th inning. NO fair. Tonight though, I am so staying up. It's supposed to rain all day today, who knows. Apparently the rain helps remove any 'smudge' from the pitcher's hands HA! I love that they're calling David Eckstein a 'little Smurf'. That just makes it all the sweeter! And I do happen to have a Smurf in a red suit, I'll have to dig that one out. Because, it's important, you know.

GO REDBIRDS!!!!!

(this is my vintage 1982 Wold Series jersey that does not fit over my belly anymore. Oh who am I kidding. It doesn't fit over my BOOBS either. My point here is, I was the EXACT same age of Al the last time the Cardinals won the World Series. Coincidence?)

of course you want more!

Because I have nothing better to do than give you a link to enjoy more of my favorite 80s toys.

Happy Birthday to the SMURFS!!!!!!!

In other news, Kenny Rogers (the pitcher, not the Gambler, although at this point they might be one in the same) may or may not have had pine tar on his hand pitching to the Cardinals. Okay, so what? He was STILL able to kick their asses, even after he supposedly washed his hands. No excuses tonight okay? You're in Cardinal town tonight, so there better be an ass whuppin. We all bleed RED you know.

And LP, for future reference, when I say I'm not cleaning up after dinner, it does not mean, "...so leave it and I will clean it up in the morning." 'Kay?

I will have to tell you about my weekend some time. Me, preggers as ever, staying out until 3 a.m. at the bars. What a sight. I almost got denied at one bar, the bouncer apparently thought I was a moron going out to preggo-drink the night away. Hey, I'm uncomfortable, but I'm not THAT uncomfortable. Trust me, as soon as this baby is out I'm having a beer. Just not yet!

not another word

I wasn't even going to mention the whole Cards thing this year.

First of all, I did not make it to ONE SINGLE game this year. In our new stadium. Not a one. Do you have any IDEA how many years it has been that that's occurred? I could not tell you. At least 15 years. I make it to at least One game. But nope, not this year. Why? Because of that stupid flippin new stadium. Oh sure LP went. Not me. So that's frustrating.

Secondly, I stopped watching the Cards in July. They were just sucking so badly, and Pujols was the only one worth watching. Then in September he just started sucking. So why bother? At least the pitching was OK, but still. Not worth my time.

Then the jerkwads got to the playoffs. Wha? How the hell did that happen? Okay, but they won't make it to the next round.

Oh wait. They did.

So on Wednesday night, I knew they were just going to blow it, and I fell asleep. So glad I did. They blew it. Like I thought they would.

Last night, I tentatively put the game on recall while I watched Law & Order. I figured if I watched it with full force, then they would surely lose and I would end up going into labor. But Law & Order is only an hour, so of course I put the game on afterwards.

And promptly fell asleep. Damn Phenergan!! (No wait...I love you Phenergan, it was just a joke. You stop me from puking and make me sleepy sleep. I SO love you.)

I awoke to the sound of "HOLY CRAP JANA YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!" which scared the holey moley outta me, having already achieved REM sleep and dreaming about mermaids.

Apparently LP thought, "I'll just watch Molina bat and go to bed" and sure enough, my little Yadi scored a 2-run homer. Holy crap indeed.

(note: I'm always rooting for the underdog, my favorite players are almost always non-superstars...hell Craig Paquette and Bruce Sutter were two of my old favorites, so Yadier has been a fave of mine, he's just so cute--which usually has something to do with why I pick them as my favorites.)

So now I'm wide awake and it's the ninth inning. No pressure, none at all. Wainwright is pitching, and ohmigod in a flash the bases are effing LOADED.

Yes, I'm most definitely going to go into labor. You're killing me here.

And then, he pitches that awesome ball and the Mets stadium sounds like the sound proof room they put contestants from the Newlywed Game in. Absolutely silent.

I stayed up to watch some of the post-game interviews, and I know that my Cardinals will never attain the popularity and beloved-ness as other teams like the (gak) Yankees or the Red Sox, but damn I do love them.

They're going to the World Series!!!!!!!!!!

Update

What more can I say than....ugh. Someone asked me yesterday if I was carrying twins. Apparently they did not receive the etiquette book on how to speak to a pregnant lady. I'm sure he is recovering nicely.

I had my baby shower and it was lovely. My friends luv me, they even made homemade guacamole. Got a lotta pink. I'm not much of a light pink girl myself, but I've loosened up a little bit. My MIL told me I'd be taking all that back though, since this is a BOY. (she is still hoping I guess...whatever!) What I did not have for my other kids that completely kicks a$$...holders for everything! The stroller we got even has a wipes holder! Woot!

So we have all the gear and basics for when bambina arrives. Diapers and wipes, that's all ya need. No, her bedroom is not ready yet, but we're gonna work on that this weekend. If anyone has a need for several Polly Pockets, please let me know now because otherwise several Pollys will be facing their imminent doom. Plus a few Bratz dolls, who probably have cases of chlamydia anyway and who will not be missed.

I'm in the home stretch now, and I will not let this heartburn beat me! Looking forward to sharing sweet pics. I go see the doctor tomorrow, and will update more next week.

Take care all!

Haves and have nots

Take the time today to appreciate all you have.

Miniature Earth.

Not Making me Laugh. At all.

I just came back from The Kept Woman's site. On it she has a link to an interview with Shirley Phelps Roper. This woman is completely insane, and to think there are others who believe the same, makes me hurt inside.

Listen to the interview.

I'd say that she needs to get laid, but crap she has 11 children. W.T.F.????

Making Me Laugh

I had a doctor's appointment this morning, and I sat directly across from a young, very preggers girl who was clearly uncomfortable. Just as I was about to ask her if she was okay, they called her to the window. Here was the conversation between said girl and receptionist/MA:

Girl: I've been feeling bad today, and having some contractions so I was wondering if I could see the doctor quickly.

MA: Are the contractions frequent? How far apart?

Girl: Um, like five minutes.

MA: And how far along are you?

Girl: 38 and a half weeks.

*stunned silence of all in the waiting room*

MA: Um, bye. You need to go to the hospital right now!

Girl: But I feel okay now.

MA: Did you drive here?

Girl: Yes. I can drive myself to the hospital I guess.

******

We were all laughing after we left. Apparently this girl did not know she was in labor! Which, of course, will never happen to me. Both the girls had to be induced, and I'm sure Makenna will be just as stubborn. I can remember sitting in the hospital room, with NO CABLE, bored out of my skull and starving. Now I've learned at least they have cable now at the hospital, but I still need something to pass the time.

So do you have any ideas on what we could do while we're waiting and NOT in active labor? Since our iPod broke (I've been in denial about it, it's a post for another day) LP bought an iPod phone so we have at least some music we could download. So if anyone has good labor/delivery music that might help the process, let me know. I plan on making a playlist with your suggestions. Of course "Here Comes My girl" will be on it. But remember, NO ELVIS!!!!!!

Stagnant

Seven weeks to go. That's all I keep thinking. Egad.

is the crib up?

No.

Do I have a car seat?

No.

I figure the kid can get thrown into the trunk and can sleep on the couch. What, because it's a baby it has to be treated differently than my other kids? Please. If she can't grab a Gogurt from the fridge at 4 in the morning by 3 months old than she's going to be in trouble.

Okay so maybe I'm a little grouchy from spending 6 hours in the ER this weekend from little missy. That's all. Who does she think she is laying on MY blood vessels and preventing MY blood from circulating? My body is NOT an all-inclusive resort. Sure meals are provided, but that does not mean you are allowed to mistreat the staff. Those blood vessels are working FOR you dearie. Pay them some respect.

Fortunately all ultrasounds revealed no blood clots so she is not grounded immediately when she gets out, but I'd say a time out is in order.

***************************************

Difference

3 years ago on my birthday we went to NYC. Then we had a big party with friends, went out drinking and I got a kickass SLR camera for a present.

This year, not so much.

I get to take my kid to soccer practice. I got a body pillow and a crock pot as gifts.

Saddest thing is, I was REALLY EXCITED to get the pillow and crock pot.

Whew getting old puts the F-U in FUN.

Old pictures

I found a disk with some old pictures on it, circa maybe 2001-2002. This was around the time I was at my full Stay at Home Momness. These were some of my favorite times.

Nice wifebeater there LP.

Ahoy maties, red flag ahead

Did everyone enjoy Talk Like A Pirate Day yesterday? Good. I love to spend my afternoon discussing latitude and longitude with my 4th grader while incorporating treasure, gold and walking the plank into my conversation. Lovely.

A few days ago, Dooce was talking about deal breakers on dates. While all were very entertaining, I admitted to myself that I must have had pretty low standards. When I met LP, I broke so many of my dealbreakers it's not even funny (hello, he watched wrestling. WRESTLING.) But i've also been married for 9 years and 7 months so I must have done something right. And even though I didn't date a whole heck of a lot, I can recall not thinking it that big of a deal if a guy was 10 minutes late. You just never know how long that inning is going to take, ya know?

So I give you my top 5 deal breakers of dating, if I was in fact single and even knew what I was talking about, which I so totally don't:

P.S. (please refer to this post on my dating experiences, they are few but note worthy)

5. Any type of drug usage, especially when you discuss it with me on the first date. That was fun when we were in high school, but seriously? A guy who snorts a line when he's got a mortgage just is NOT husband material. Bleh.
4. Not that this ever happened to me, but someone who would answer his cell phone during the middle of a date conversation would infuriate me. Um, that is so showing my age, but when I was dating, cell phones were still the ones in the bag in your car. But it's still rude, I don't care how socially acceptable cell phones are nowdays.
3. Bad breath. Just....no.
2. Sycophants. Oh my gosh it is okay for you to have an opinion. Just because we're on a date does not mean I would get offended if you disagreed with me. Guys who say, "I'm not really into haiku writing," and I respond, "Oh, i love to haiku!!" and then they say, "Yeah, haiku is pretty fun." No, that will not fly with me. Grow some. Have an opinion please. (side note though--haiku probably isn't something you discuss on a date, but haiku rocks!)

and my #1 dealbreaker if I was dating and needed to have a deal broken:

1. Someone who tells you they 'love you' or have a 'connection' with you too soon.
I am not someone who has ever worn their emotions on their sleeve. I believe in order to be truly connected to a person, you really need to spend a good amount of time with said person. I do have an uncannily good judge of character, but that does not mean you know me after one date. Don't tell me you love me or that we were meant to be. Because it usually isn't true. I've had guys say this when I thought, "This guy is crazy!" and then I've been schnookered into believing it by another guy who was boinking someone else at the same time.

It took LP and I 3 months of 'getting to know you' time before we realized one night we were in love. It wasn't love at first sight. We went to Wal-Mart to buy a fan and sat outside eating potato chips together, and in one cosmic moment we both knew. That's how it's supposed to happen, folks.

And LP has NEVER written me a haiku.

Books I won't be reading to Makenna

33

Reason #4,608,000 why you kick ass:

When I asked you where you want go to out to dinner for your birthday, you replied,

"Nowhere. All I want to do is order in some Chinese food and hang out with you and the girls."

Happy Birthday to my own personal hairy monkey.

Conversation

AL: "Mom, remember when I asked for help with my reading homework and you gave me the answer?"

Me: "Yes."

Al: "Well, it was wrong. It was 'bait', not 'freight.'"

Me: "Oh?"

AL: "But I don't feel bad for you. Hunter's mom got it wrong too."

Me: "Gee, thanks."

Al: "I meant, don't FEEL bad. Cuz you got it wrong."

Me: "Right."

LP: (laughing) "Yes, she won't feel bad about getting YOUR homework wrong!"

Rug: "Oh, yeah that's is just CLASSIC."

Me, LP, Al: ?

Libra sun

Fall is my favorite season. I love the smells, the tastes, the overall feel of it. My birthday is in fall, pumpkin carving, chili cook offs and hayrides are just my idea of perfect activities. I have a candle someone bought me a few years ago called 'Spiced Cider" that just sums it all up. LP said he read somewhere that smell is the strongest memory one can have. I believe it. Fall is an olfactory heaven for me.

I am feeling pretty good these days, considering that is. I'm still not jumping or doing somersaults, but I am able to do a little more. I actually took a walk the other day with the family, that was nice. We spent this past weekend cleaning up the house, which sounds totally boring but it brought me great satisfaction. Instead of agreeing to eight million get-togethers, we stayed at home as a family and spent some QUA-lity time together. Fantastic. The crib isn't up yet and we still don't have a car seat, but we're at least somewhat on our way to baby-dom.

I've been looking all over for that perfect 'coming home' outfit for Makenna. I can't seem to find one. I still have the outfits Al and Rug wore home from the hospital, and they ain't much. Poor Al ended up in a onesie because the outfits I brought were just too big. Rug wore one of those gowns, which was perfect. I want something nicer for Makenna, and it hasn't caught my eye yet.

And readers, the last two paragraphs are the reason why I have not updated my blog. Pregnancy has made me a bore. I never wanted this blog to be a pregnancy blog, because, unless you're pregnant, it's not that interesting. And unfortunately from this pregnancy there isn't much i can be nostalgic about. So I've decided to leave you with some pictures. Of some of the blogs I read, I notice that when they don't have a lot to say, they just take pictures. I'd do this if I had a kickass camera and any abilities whatsoever, but I don't. Maybe I'll persue it more once the baby is born, but not now.
So I'm leaving you with my Smurf collection. Remember when I said some day I'd take a picture of them but they are at my mom's? Well, we were there and I took some pictures. I also have this cool vintage McDonald's that I played with constantly as a child and still have all the parts to. Now my kids play with them and they love it when I talk in 'smurf'. I even added my Playmobil people AND am AtroSnick (McDonald's Smurf from the 80s). Enjoy!!!

And have a smurfy day.

SPF: Worst Morning Ever.

Kristine wants us to utilize the things that annoy us and create them into SPF art. Well, let me tell ya sumthin. This morning has caused me to cry on two separate occasions, and it is only 11:00 a.m. I have only had 3 hours of sleep (yes, I had a soda yesterday with caffeine, I know, my own fault. But there could have been soemthing better on at 2 a.m. ya know? Help a sister out.) and upon waking up discovered my land phones do not work therefore I cannot dial into work and earn money today and make my livin'. I dropped the kids off only minutes before the bell, only to have to drive 40 minutes away to drop my van off for repair (it stopped working...yeah just like my iPOD. Only the van is still under warranty, which is the only thing I have going for me today....ahhh tangent) and have some JERK cut me off in traffic and almost cause me to wreck, while my cell phone battery goes dead and I realize I left my debit card at home AND I am almost out of gas, and then halfway home I then realize I left the GARAGE DOOR OPENER in my van at the mechanic and have no way of getting into my house.

*Deep breath*

So I call LP and I have to go downtown St. Louis to get his opener, and using a 'short cut' I get lost in Brooklyn (Jbo--remember East St. Louis is the ghetto? Yeah, Brooklyn is the ghetto's ghetto) and I completely lose it, only minutes later does the highway sign lead me back onto salvation and over the bridge. Ohmigosh.

I hadn't eaten BREAKFAST yet people. I am 7 months pregnant. AND i had to pee.

Needless to say, SPF isn't going to be imaginative today. It's going to be old pictures. But I WANT to play. I NEED to play. Having missed out on the last two weeks (which were awesome themes) I am GOING TO PLAY.

So here we go. I know you in no way needed those last paragraphs in your day, but it makes me feel a hell of a lot better to get it off my chest. My 7 month pregnant, large lactating chest. OK.

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME and will someone please give me the go ahead to have a beer even though I am pregnant? Please?:

1. No, it's not my kids. It's my in-laws. This was taken at their house, so I thought it was the least incriminating picture I had. It's funny too, because when we first got married, they were the 'nice' in-laws. I had NO inkling of the terror that would ensue in years to come. I believe they are the reason Xanax was invented in the first place.














2. My Space:


You have seen this picture before, it is my den. I LUV my den and it is here where I am forced to watch "Phil of the Future" and "That's So Raven". (okay, I admit it...I totally think Phil is cute) It is so cozy and as soon as I am done with this I am going to sack my preggo patoot right there.






3. Things that annoy me part 2:

I miss running 5ks. I miss lifting weights. I miss waking up at the butt crack of dawn to go running. I miss my stomach muscles. I miss feeling OK when I wake up. I miss sushi. I miss having a beer. A glass of wine. A shot of something. I miss seeing my feet. I miss my cute, non-swollen feet. I really miss sushi. I miss being able to brush my teeth without gagging. (I don't miss my period) I miss being able to sneeze without peeing in my pants. I miss bending down and picking up something I dropped without it being a major occasion. Okay I think that's enough for now. *Disclaimer for those who have never been pregnant: This is my third. The other two were not like this. Not even remotely. I was singing and painting rooms two days before delivery with the other two. This one not so much. But damn I miss sushi.

Umm, kay, hope I didn't just give my cloud to y'all. I'm not usually this negative. Been a long mornin! Have a great weekend everyone!

School is back, so is the quiet

Today the girls got up very, very early for their first day of school. This will never happen again until the last day of school.

I can't believe they are this old. I just can't.

Summer Reading

Life is crazy. I just can't keep up. I probably won't be blogging much, but I will try to comment still on everyone else's blogs.

Last night I finished "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt. My mother gave it to me, and when I told LP's aunt I was reading it she said, "Ugh...how depressing." I usually don't take other people's reviews of books too seriously, and I am glad I didn't with this book. It was compelling to say the least.

My grandfather grew up poor with an alcoholic father, so there were many similarities between the two. At one point I knew my grandpa was shipped off to live on a farm with a distant relative when my great-grandmother was sent off to the sanatorium. If it weren't for the military, who knew where he would have ended up.

Right before he died, I was over at his house and discovered that he had all his pictures stuffed into shoeboxes of different sizes. I remember spending many nights going through pictures, trying to figure out who the faces were. My grandpa would laugh and say, "I can barely see them, and your grandma can't remember them!" The pictures were so interesting to me, and the stories he told about some of the faces were mesmerizing.

That's what Angela's Ashes brought back to me. It is pretty depressing, because he lived such a squallor life until he came to America. But I guess in essence it is also a success story, as he went on to be a teacher and author. It also reminded me of all the stories older people have to share, but few listen to.

After finishing the book, I went straight to my favorite innernet and Googled "Duplex Planet."

When I was in high school, my brother, who, as crazy as he is, always introduced me to the coolest stuff...Robert Crumb cartoons, Bob Dobbs, Toad the Wet Sprocket...he gave me a book of Duplex Planet for my birthday. I was completely enthralled.

"Duplex Planet" is an ongoing project by David Greenberger. He more or less listens to elderly people and gets their viewpoints on many different subjects. It is humorous, but it's also to show how much we take for granted those viewpoints and disregard such an integral demographic of our society.

It will make you laugh, and also make you miss those days with your grandparents, when they talked about walking to school uphill both ways in 10 feet of snow.

Now the next question is...what book do I read next???

Heard of Girls Gone Wild?

Well this is Muppets Gone Wild:

Muppets Grow UP

MySpace for Dummies

A few years ago, a good college friend of mine invited me join a website to 'stay connected'. I did, just because I rarely talked to her and it was a good way to stay in touch.

Yes, it was Myspace.

Fast forward to now, and that place is like a dance club that stays open later than the other bars and is where everyone goes when they haven't scored yet at the bars they have spent the last 5 hours getting tanked. It's where inhibitions go to die. (if you're familiar with the St. Louis area, Myspace is the "Oz" of the internet. 'Nuf said.) It is a whorehouse. A meat market. Thank Gilligan's Island my daughters are not old enough for it yet. I started blogging here because of it, because a guy messaged me asking me to be 'his' soccer Mom. WTF?

A few weekends ago, LP and I went out with another couple and had a discussion about MySpace. My girl friend was talking about one of her friends who has gotten so caught up in MySpace, you walk in on her and can find 8-10 instant message conversatons going on at one time, all with guys she met on MySpace. Oh and yeah, she is (was) married. MySpace destroyed their marriage.

LP was aghast! He had heard of MySpace but has actually never been on the site. I thought for sure he was kidding, because MySpace is in essence free (albeit soft) porn for all to view. And I know LP. ESPN ain't all he lookies up on the internet.

So yesterday, my sister-in-law emails me with a link to a MySpace page of a guy I knew and unfortunately, I FORMERLY DATED. He was, well, he was dirty. Remember when I said my ex-boyfriend has my name tattooed on his chest? Well this clever ex has a Tasmanian Devil playing HOCKEY on his arm. Oh classy. Yes, I know you are jealous.

LP came home last night and I had to show him the page. Which was a mistake, because I more or less popped his MySpace cherry and he went looking for anyone he could possibly find (just to make fun of, I'm guessing). He discovered, as I did, that most MySpacers are really the people you never want to run into after high school. It is a very small population of 'normal' ones out there.

Later on, I asked LP what he thought of his MySpace experience. He responded, "Well, it doesn't seem too different from blogging, really."

WHAT!!!!!!!!! Shut yo mouth with that talk. I might just go make you get a tattoo of my face on your chest for that one!

lacking

There is just too much going on for me to blog. Unfortunately I'm not one of those blogs that people wait with bated breath for a post, so it causes me sometimes to be a slacker. Plus I'm a "Mommyblogger" I guess, and I would really love to steer clear of all THAT broo-ha ha.

I've got enough in my real life to deal with! :)

LP threw his back out again and has been on Vicodin again, but we still had to have the girls' room painted by this weekend, so he's in there doing it. My house is a complete tornado of a mess, and I would really like to hire one of those professional organizers. It's killing me.

In the meantime though, I have been thoroughly enjoying EtiquetteHell. There have been some 'issues' with the baby shower some friends want to throw me, and I try to live as drama-free as I can, and from this website I see that I have it much better than off than some! Although I could write in about how my MIL gave me their rocking chair as a 'handed down' gift for my baby shower with Al, only after about 10 months she asked for it BACK, telling me it was never mine to 'keep'...and then selling it at a yard sale a few years later. That's gold right there. I wasn't sure what to put in her baby book as to what gift we received from them...'rocking chair that was on loan'???? Loony!

School starts in 2 weeks, and I would like to say things are getting slower but they've just started to pick up. It's Soccer Season. For us Soccer Moms that means focusing on the sidelines because, according to some, it's all we have in our sad, pathetic lives and we have to cling onto it and pretend we are happy even though we *really* aren't. Heh, it's too bad I truly am happy. I guess I'll have to live with it. :)

Hope everyone has a drama free, hate-free weekend!

Follow up

Well my doctor's appt was yesterday and I was in and out of there in 15 minutes. Hm, interesting. She also asked several questions about the 'pain' I was having and that she would continue monitoring it. The followup ultrasound determined the mass they found was a contraction and that I had no ovarian cysts.

So I am still with this mystery pain, which is terribly inconsistent, but I don't think I will be changing doctors yet as I have enough to deal with at this point. With LP's insurance, changing doctors is also like moving to Mars in difficulty.

In the meantime I did take the girls to see Kelly Clarkson in concert. Boy that girl can sing. We all had a blast, and hell yeah I paid for Premier parking and 'accidentally' got placed in the VIP parking! Took me 10 minutes to zip outta there after the concert! Woot!

So in the meantime I will leave with a top 5 list, of which I have not done in awhile:

Top 5 Songs I am enjoying at the Moment:

5. "Crazy" Gnarles Barkley
4. "Ain't No Other Man" Christina Aguilera
3. "Gone" Kelly Clarkson
2. "Is It Any Wonder?" Keane
1. All the fun re-mixes of 80 songs on iTunes. Good times!

crazy road

Weathering the Storm

whoa storm
Originally uploaded by Vajana.

Past weekend events, hmm.

On Friday, my kids were at the local water park and LP took the day off. On our way to Lowe's for paint for their rooms, we noticed the sky was a bit dark. Almost black as night. Okay, it was green. LP looked at me and said, "Uh, should our daughters really be near a large pool of water during an electrical storm?" We high-tailed it towards the water park.

On the news later that evening, they listed places tornadoes hit.

Yeah, they included the road we were driving on.

It was totally freaky, and we are so monumentously lucky. We had two power lines fall in front of our car, along with several trees/branches near us, beside us, behind us, but fortunately not on top of us.

We made it to the water park where my idols the Brownie leaders had all 50 or so girl scouts rounded in a room singing "Herman the Worm". I think they should incude that song in all disaster manuals.

When we got home, there was only minor damage to our house, a few limbs and branches but nothing substantial. We did not have power though, and everything in our freezer and fridge were lost. Big deal!

We spent the weekend at my parents, which was nice but also made me realize a weekend is about the perfect length of stay with my parents. By Sunday I was ready to get back home!

Of course in hindsight I really wished we would have taken a different road, but I guess it makes for a good story. And LP can once again tell people he saved me from the wrath of Mother Nature (just like the Ozark boat trip!) Oh he is my Hero.

Now to get on the roof and try to find some hail damage so we can get a new roof! I'm thinking we're SOL but it's worth a shot!

Introducing

I had my followup ultrasound yesterday, and the sonographer not only found nothing else wrong with me, she could not find the supposed 'mass' that was found by the first sonographer. I should get my official results in a few days, but I'm even further perplexed by it all.

I did get to see little wee one again, she's growing like crazy and she took more pics. We are 99.9% sure her name is going to be Makenna. No we have not agreed on the middle name yet.

So here she is in all her little sweetness:

Inadequacy

If I could sum up the past few days, that would be it. I have been stewing about all my inadequacies lately, going back to the time I said such and such to so and so in 1989 and I cannot seem to stop. This black cloud has had been culminating for some time now, and I can't shake off the rain. But I am a fully functioning black cloud, so no worries.

I did go see the Strangers with Candy movie on Friday with LP, and afterwards went to have some Bubble Tea with an old friend and her new flame. That was the highlight of my week. The movie was side-splitting hilarious, and it wasn't just me cuz the whole theater was erupting in laughter. We saw it at the Tivoli which is this really cool movie theater that someone refurbished and it has a great atmosphere. I almost pretended I was a single gal on a date but my protruding belly didn't let my daydream go too far!

We also purchased bunk beds for the girls this weekend, as well as a Pack-n-Play for the wee one. I should have my head examined for even SUGGESTING that Al and Rug share a bedroom. But that's just how it will be. I should go ahead and buy the duct tape now for the line down the middle of the room.

I'm on my second week of my Wilton Cake Decorating Class. How soccer mom is THAT? What's even worse is how completely excited I am about it. I've always wanted to be a pastry chef, and if I have to decorate Scooby Doo cakes to make me one step closer to that, by golly I will.

Al was in the newspaper this past week for swimming so well, I am so proud of her. They are both off at a summer camp this week, having a great time apparently. The weather has been in the 100s but they're in the woods, nice and cool.

Obviously I have nothing to say today, but I thought an update would be nice. For posterity.

SPF-- Your Piggies

Kristine asks and she shall receive. Stuff Portrait Day is pretty simple this week, just pictures of our toesies.

Thank goodness for stored pictures. I have yet ANOTHER picture from our Florida trip last year, aren't you so glad I took a gazillion pictures so I would have SPF material for the next year and a half!?!

Anyway, the pink piggies LOVE going to the market (well shopping anyway, she's a sassy one). The piggies at the top LOVE to eat roast beef and the crazy bejeweled piggies prefer not to eat roast beef. LP was off somewhere, so we'll just assume his piggies go wee wee wee all the way home.

Did you play?

Quickie

They postponed my ultrasound until next Wednesday. Wonderful.

I tried to stop taking the Phenergan for a day again with very, very bad results.

My very best friend called yesterday and told me she had a miscarriage at 12 weeks.

our iPod, the garage door opener, our ceiling fan and my cell phone all quit working yesterday. Together. As a team.

But life is still great. It all just allows me to count my unbelievable blessings.

thanks

Thanks for all the comments about my doctor dilemma. My followup ultrasound is tomorrow, and once I find out anything from that, I will most likely make an appointment with a different doctor. Thanks for everyone's support, it really helped me to feel better.

***********************

For those of you who thought bartering was out of style, check this guy out:

Red Paperclip!

Cutting through red tape

I'd like to say my doctor appointments have been going along swimmingly, but that just is not even close to the truth. Although I'm certainly not having as many 'double talk' moments as Susie has, I've definitely had my share. It's getting very exhausting.

My old OB-Gyn retired about a year ago, so before I decided to go and get all knocked up, I went to this new office, early February of this year. I told them THEN and THERE of this lower abdominal pain I'd been having, and the PA-C insisted it was ovarian cysts. Okay.

I've seen two other 'professionals' in this office since then. The doctor (or, CC, completely clueless) and the midwife (she's okay, but let's just call her Man Hands). I have not seen the PA-C ever since, and she was the only one I really even felt comfortable with.

I saw the doctor (or CC) in late April and I mentioned the pain again to HER and she suggested it was irritable bowel syndrome. Right.

When I had my ultrasound and got to see the piggies of little Missy, they also found an irregular spot. They called to tell me this last Thursday. The Medical Assistant assigned to the task of calling me said it could be 'nothing' or 'something' but they want a 6 week checkup to make sure. I then reminded her of the lower abdomen pain, and that it had been hurting a lot that day. Her words were, "Oh! If you are having pain then you should probably see the doctor sooner." She set up a 'sooner' appointment for this past Friday. Okay. And please note she said see the DOCTOR. That will come into play later on. I hang up the phone.

And thus begins the freaking out.

I called LP and he suggested I call my insurance's 'helpline' for reassurance. I did. I got an 'advocate' who offered to call the office and explain the results to me. Big. Mistake.

Mind you, this woman had my best interests at heart, she did, but completely went about it the WRONG way. And I really got no good results out of it, other than being labeled "DIFFICULT" on my medical record I am sure. This woman conferenced me in with the medical assistant (poor girl) and more or less started a shouting match with her. She insisted I see the doctor THAT DAY (which would have been good) but the MA was having none of it. She finally got CC (my doctor) on the line. CC assured me and crazy lady that the 'mass' was probably benign and was not that concerned about it. I told her of the pain, and she said,(after I hear her obviously going through my chart) "You've had that for awhile, and we said it could be irritable bowel syndrome. I will give you a prescription for a stool softener."

Okay, y'all know I'm lactose intolerant right? So stool softener? Not such a great idea.

Then she said perhaps I had a urinary tract infection. I said, "For 6 months you think I've had a UTI? Plus, uh, I was JUST THERE and everything was CLEAN."

"Well, the best I can do is you can come in and give me a urine sample and we can test it today."

Read: "I will not see you today but you can waste YOUR TIME by coming in and repeating the same test you had done two days ago if you think that will shut this crazy lady up."

After we hung up with the office, the advocate woman suggested I find another doctor. Thanks.

So this past Friday I go to my doctor's office. I wait IN THE ROOM for over and hour and fifteen minutes. Just as I'm about to walk out, Man hands walks in. Yep, no doctor. She says, "We are here to discuss your ultrasound?" I looked at her blankly. "Well, I was having pain like I have been before and they said to come in sooner..."

"Oh, I have on your chart that we are just discussing the results of your ultrasound."

"But see, this pain, it's been intermittently getting worse."

"Are you having the pain right now?"

"No."

"Well, I can't very well evaluate it if you are not having the pain right now."

"But I was having the pain last week when the office called and suggested I come in earlier because I WAS HAVING THE PAIN."

"Well, let's go over the ultrasound results."

"So you're telling me the pain has nothing to do with the mass they found? The first person I came in here said it was ovarian cysts. Is that not true now?"

"No."

"Okay, then what could be causing this?"

"Well let's talk about the ultrasound results. You can just take Tylenol for the pain."

Oh my gosh I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I told her I wanted to know what the problem was, not to just take Tylenol and cover the pain. I insisted on a followup and she finally ordered another ultrasound. Then she proceeded to tell me she hoped I didn't think she was brushing off my pain, that was not her intention.

Really.

I've already started the search for a new doctor.

*************************************************

On a much lighter note, a friend of mine related this story to me the other day:

They were driving home from somewhere and a discussion came up about my pregnancy. Her 11-year-old daughter, a recent graduate of the Catholic school's sex education class which most likely scared them witless into avoiding sex like the Plague, was commenting on what a nice surprise it was, and how there had been several other nice 'surprises' lately. (a few of our older friends have had babies recently...more 'whoops' than planned!)

My friend replied, "Yes, there have been a lot of surpises lately."

Daughter: "Yeah, but mom what did they..."

F: "Yes?"

D: "I mean, it's nice but how did the surprise..."

F: "They had SEX, dear."

D: "OH MY GOSH I am going to get SICK. Are you serious? GROSS! EW! YUCK!!!!!!!!!"

I am not going to be able to look that child in the eyes for a long time.

Stuff Portrait Day Wedding Edition

Today is a very Stuff Portrait Day because tomorrow, Kristine and Shaun, the cute couple who sponsor this every week, are going to the chapel and gettin' hitched. Good news for them and us, bad news for single people everywhere as two more wonderful people will be off the market.

In honor of their wedding, this week's SPF is wedding themed:

1. Your Love (show us some love)
2. Take us on a Honeymoon! (bring us somewhere with your pictures)
3. Something Blue (No sad faces before my wedding!)

And in honor of the fact that I'm just plain LAZY and didn't take any pics, I'm just going to use ones that are already on my computer! SO there.

1. Your Love(s)

Welllllll naturally.

And even though he's been on The List recently, I still love me some LP.

2. Take us on a honeymoon!

I took this on our honey moon when we were in Hawaii and snuggling and...HA no I did not. Please. This was one of those pictures already pre-loaded on my computer. Perty tho huh. Let's pretend.

3. Something Blue. And I chose to use a pic that I've already used before but it's quite blue:

Have a great weekend everyone! I have yet another doctor's appointment today and hopefully they can figure out what is really wrong this time..wish me lots of luck. And oh yeah.....

DIDJA PLAY?

Somebody

Make me laugh!

Summer nights

Emotions running wild in the last few days:

* I cried at King Kong. It was a riduculously LONG and over-CGI'd movie, but at the end, when King Kong has those sad eyes, I could not contain myself. Damn humans screwing everything up.

* My poor Becks, crying on the sidelines after being subbed in the game against Portugal. And how am I supposed to feel when little hottie Christiano makes the winning goal? Oh my. I also saw David consoling his other players who were crying as well. Who said Brits were all stoic?

* My insurance 'advocate' getting into a HUGE argument with the poor unknowing Medical Assistant at my doctor's office. Now THAT they could have shown on pay per view. Whoa.

* And me again, crying watching VH1 Storytellers. That's a post for another day.

* Do you all realize how rare it is for me to cry more than once in a week? I didn't even cry at my ultrasound, or when either of my children were born. I am not a crier. It does not happen. Hell I almost cried watching fireworks last night. It's getting ridiculous.

On a good Mommy note, Al won 3 '2nd' places and 1 first place in her swim meet last night. Her butterfly rocks! I am so proud of her. And Rug has finally started swimming without use of flotation devices, so I'm feeling hap-hap-happy.

Have a great and safe 4th of July. I am the pyro in the family, so I spent lots of $$ on fountains and goodies such as that, no squealers or whistles though. They freak me out. I love the color.

SPF Friday--Shaun style

Hi everyone! Time for SPF, which was quite a challenge for me this week. Kristine is visiting her momma so her bohunk in waiting Shaun has the ideas for SPF:

1. Something with a story behind it.
2. Random and Odd photo that your readers must caption!
3. (keeping with the wedding theme) Something borrowed.

So though I am having major anxiety today (pains in my body that should not be) I am just going to try to use some pictures from my old stash:

1. Something with a story behind it.

I absolutely do not have story telling abilities, and don't most pictures have stories behind them anyway? This pic was taken in 2003 on the Lake of the Ozarks. We had gone there with my parents for a few days. No sooner than 10 minutes after this picture was taken, a tremendous thunderstorm overtook us and we nearly sank. We all sat curled in a ball on the floor while LP tried to navigate us back to shore. It was very scary, and AL just sat saying the "Our Father" over and over again. We have since called my parents the Griswolds, because growing up on vacations our family always ended up having some sort of mishap, and apparently the two of them have carried that on with them in spirit.

2. Random and Odd photo--readers caption!

3. Something borrowed:

I just love me some Jerri Blank. So here's a picture I borrowed from the internet, in honor of her movie coming out this week. Unfortunately for me in the Midwest it does not open around here (and in only ONE theater!) until the 14th, but you bitches in NY and LA can already see it!

Okay, so that's my lame ass attempt at SPF this week, at least I played!

Did YOU play???!?!?!?!