A meme about me, myself and I: (borrowed from Shellibells who stole it from Smoochdog)

I know ~ better.
I fought ~ with low self esteem for way too long.
I am angered ~ by people who judge too quickly. And most of the time my in-laws.
I love ~ with everything that i am!
I need ~ time for myself.
I take ~ too few trips to visit my parents.
I hear ~ my kids playing DDR in the basement.
I drink ~ lots and lots of water.
I hate ~ to use the word hate.
I use ~ my email too often for communication.
I want ~ people to appreciate me.
I decided ~ a long time ago not to put up with people's meanness.
I like ~ peanut butter, duh!
I am ~ more than what most people see me as.
I feel ~ anxious about being pregnant
I left ~ college not knowing what I was going to do next.
I do ~ think
I hope ~ I always have a great relationship with my kids.
I dream ~ of always learning new things.
I drive ~ my kids everywhere.
I listen ~ to music all the time.
I type ~ realllly really fast.
I think ~ most people just want to be accepted.
I wish ~ I knew more about art.
I compensate ~ my children with things I never had growing up.
I regret ~ being so shy.
I care ~ if people like me
I should ~ not be so critical of myself.
I am not always ~ comfortable around strangers
I said ~ things that I should not have.
I wonder ~ what my dad would be like if his dad had lived.
I changed ~ my outlook to be more positive.
I cry ~ very little. It takes a lot.
I am ~ a mother, a friend, a daughter, a thinker, a dreamer and a blogger!!
I am not ~ who you think I am.
I lose ~ my patience with stupidity.
I leave ~ you with my favorite poem in the world:


Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.


In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.


Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

Invictus, Wiliam Ernest Henley

And the winner is.....

It looks as though we are bringing yet ANOTHER female into this brood of ours. And I could not be happier. ELATED would be my feelings on the subject. I would not know what to do with a boy.

However, why do I get the feeling that people will act disappointed when I tell them? Like somehow we have let them down by not producing a man to carry on the family name?

BECAUSE IT ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENED, that's why.

When I told ONE of my in-laws already (I'm sure I'll get the same from the other side) the first thing they said was, "BUT WHERE IS MY GRANDSON?"

Well apparently he was lost and someone decided we should be an all pink household. Geebus! What the hell is wrong with people?? And then they make fun of my husband for not being able to make 'one with a stinger'?? WTF!!

Anyhoodilee doodilee.

Ultrasound machines have reallllllly improved since last time I had one, and I could see everything. I slept much better last night. All of her fingers and toes, and her heart and stomach, and even a few times her precious little face. Unbelievable. Last time I had an ultrasound it vaguely looked like a vertebrate. I have pictures, and I will try to scan them if I can. It was just so cool. I bow to the person who invented that machine, and even to the sonographer who snapped her gum the entire time.

The girls were there too, and got to see everything. They were so excited to have a sister, and could not believe they could see her spine.

So now the next fight begins. We secured a boy name. What will this baby be named??!?!? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! But I have to warn you, I am firmly against the names Oprah, Apple, or Scout. Just ain't gonna happen. Or Snowball.

Recovery

Well last night Kristine's bridal shower was a BLAST. I met some new people (for even MORE blogs to read!) and had a great time. Unfortunately my preggo body could no longer hold up and I had to go to sleep...well at least that is what I TOLD them anyway! Hee hee...LP was waiting, and I have such a *pure* impression no one knew any different. BWAHAHAHAHA.

But anyway, it was great being able to talk about porn, sex, snowballing and strip bingo with the likes of those women. It was a grand time.

Today I have my FIRST ULTRASOUND at 2:00 p.m. today! Wish me lots of luck!

Birthday partay

Now that I have a little more time and a little more energy I can talk about Al's 9th birthday. On Friday we took her to Six Flags for the day, and she rode the Ninja for the first time. It was a great time, although I shall never recommend being preggers and going there.

On Saturday we had 11 (yes I'm a total nutjob) of her friends over for a "High School Musical" sleepover. My original idea for her birthday was to do a scavenger hunt, but apparently none of the malls around here ALLOW them, so I had to nix that idea. I thought of doing a neighborhood one, but we live in an older neighborhood and I certainly would not want to interrupt anyone's daily viewing of "Matlock" to go find a colored toothpick.

My sister-in-law made these really cool iPod cakes, made from brownies:

We played two games similar to 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey' but instead it was Put the Word Bubble on Sharpay's face. I then put different colored lipsticks on all of them and had them Kiss the Troy poster. Oh yeah, lots of prepubescent fun. We also played High School Musical trivia, and the last game of the evening was Find the Gum...I placed a piece of bubble gum on a plate and covered it completely with whipped cream, with no hands they had to find the gum and first one to blow a bubble won. The kids had a blast. We ended the evening with of course, a showing of the movie itself, and I had to go upstairs because I could not bear hearing 12 girls sing "We're sooooooarrring....flllllyyyyinnnnngg...." for longer than a minute.

Al had a blast, and I should have known better. I have no comments yet on the whole family birthday debacle, but just believe that I am SPENT.

But it is so worth it! FOR THIS:


and p.s. yes those are SBC balloons, shhhhhh!!!!!!!

Shower

Oh and one more thing, I will be attending the Virtual Bridal Shower of Kristine and Shaun tonight, hope to see you there! It should be a great time!

*oh and one more thing. Hello...guess WHO made the winning goal for England???!? Ohhh yeah.*

(and I know, LP even said he sounds like a leprechaun. Whatev.)

overwhelmed

I knew this past week would be a doozy, but I did not think I'd be gone so long. This week looks to be much calmer. I should have blogged, I really should have. I am neglecting it. Soon the blogger police will come and revoke my blogging license I just know it.

It was my oldest one's 9th birthday this past week, so I've been consumed by that. I had 11 other 9 year old girls in my house by CHOICE Saturday night for her birthday sleepover, and as wonderful as it went, I am worn out. Yesterday we had the grandparents/family over for her birthday, and a slight incident involving yelling and stomping off (NOT the children) topped off quite a weekend.

I need a little while for all of it to sink in!!

yet another!

Add to the list of my favorite things:

Celebrity Dance Offs!!!!!!!

Father FIgure

When I was 4, my dad got into the inflatable jumpy-thingee with me.

When I was six, he held me down while they had to put stitches in my foot.

When I was 10, he taught me all there was to know about Lewis and Clark and then some!

When I was 12, he helped me build the Grand Prize winning science project.

When I was 14, he tried all he could to help me understand algebra (nice try, Dad, but it still hasn't stuck).

When I was 16 he played referee between me and my mom.

When I was 20, he walked with me and put his arm around me while I cried over a boy.

When I was 23, he walked me down the aisle.

When I was 24 I made him a Grandpa.

He is not perfect....the most romantic gift he ever gave my mother was a quilt rack, and he spent more of his time on his teaching job than he did us a lot of the times...but I knew grewing up that I would be lucky if I could find a man half of what he was to be the father of my kids.

My dad is techno-afraid to a fault. He still cannot figure out the call waiting on the telephone. So I know there will never be a day when he will even read my blog.

But with all the things that have happened this past week, and how tired he looked yesterday at our Father's Day BBQ, I hope he knows that I love him more than Lewis probably got tired of hearing Clark snore.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

vacant

i'm lost.

today the greatest thing that happened was being on my deck and watching my daughter catch fireflies.

after she caught at least 9 or 10, she showed them to me, then let them go.

One by one.

And with each one flying away, she named them and said goodbye.

"Goodbye Alexis."

"Goodbye Ryan."

"Goodbye Sarah."

She and her sister are the lights that keep me burning.

disappearing act

Blogger is so weird
My words always disappear
best just to haiku!

Futbal has been very very good to me

The World Cup is very....

entertaining.

*hoo my*

SPF: This week Kristine is taking us on a photographer's journey...well, since I'm still learning (I've got books from the library and everything!) I've chosen to use old pictures already on my computer today. It's lame I know but at least I played!

Aperture:
1. Wide open spaces
2. Brightness
3. Darkness

1. Wide open space: Not that wide but definitely open. This was taken last year at the beginning of the Susan Komen Race for the Cure from atop my husband's car garage (he doesn't own it of course, it's where he parks every day!) I think it's breathtaking all the people supporting the cause.




















2. Brightness: This was the toughest one, since I didn't want to be cheezy and give you YET another picture of my children...so here is a picture that LP took with my other camera, I just like this picture for some reason.
















3: Darkness: Here's LP at night at Disney World being attacked by a Lego dinosaur.

Just rattling on here.

Last night I woke up in a cold sweat after having a bad dream. After waking up though, I was more confused than ever because I realized the guy in my dream was the coach from the movie "Heaven Can Wait". Two problems with that: 1. I've never seen "Heaven Can Wait". 2. The only knowledge I have of the movie is from Mad magazine. So where did he come from? Well, at any rate, he was trying to steal our Christmas decorations, for reasons unknown.

Al started swim team again yesterday. She loved it last year, but she's way out of shape. Her first meet is in two weeks. She is a pro at the backstroke. Her mother can barely doggy paddle.

Got the septic tank pumped yesterday. $160 worth of shit! Good times, good times.

I also got my haircut yesterday, and told my hairdresser (*is this the proper term? Beautician? Hair stylist? What is it these days so I don't sound like my grandmother?*) I'm making an appointment with her every month of my pregnancy. It just feels SO good getting my hair done.

IS there such a thing as pre-partum depression? I do not ever recall feeling this crappy with my other pregnancies. I can't seem to feel good lately. Maybe I need to change those hair appointments to weekly. And I'm still going to sleep every night at 7 p.m. That is not right.

See it's pretty obvious I have little to say today. Go to Kristine's site and follow the story about the stolen Sidekick. It's pretty funny.

Laws of Marriage

There are some things that go along with marriage that you cannot deny. Because you've met this wonderful person, you have to take along with him/her ALL that they are. Including the good, things you learn that make you love them even more, but also the bad, or at most, slightly annoying. Snoring, for one, is something you will agree to take on because you love that person. Some people have obsessions to deal with, whether it is golfing, or fishing, or some sort of activity (LP is pretty good about this, his only 'activity' is working out, which has a lovely side effect of him being hunkalicious, so I *sigh* just put up with it.) Or it could be that he has to be paid a lot of attention to at the airport because of a past incident in his childhood (I'm speaking hypothetically....of course). You live with these things, because said activities and baggage are what make up the person you fell in love with.

But when you marry your spouse, there is one thing you take a huge gamble with.

Your future in-laws.

You could win the jackpot, and have great in-laws who don't intrude or do 'drop bys' or who offer to take you shopping and out to lunch and get along great with your own parents.

OR you could have in-laws who are snoopy and judge every move you make and complain about you and will have nothing to do with your parents and who are just smug, smug, smug.

Oh and spiteful. And bitter. And who give you a hard time EVERY stinkin' holiday.

I'm just sayin.

call me Addict

I tried to go ONE DAY without my Phenergan, my lover, my throwing-up subsider, and look what happened. I threw up ALL day today. I will never foresake you again, my dear.

I thought that with the return of my nausea, I thought I'd post this list again, just in case some husbands think the floodgates are open as soon as your wife starts to feeling better. Just because I feel a little better does not mean you'll be getting dinner tonight. Whatever. Go order Chinese. And while you're up, get me something to drink.

The Top 16 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."
"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"
"I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
"Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"
"Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
"Got milk?"
"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

TopFive's Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...
"You don't have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass."

spf-sumthing sumthing

Well I fell asleep last night at 7 p.m. so I woke up bright and early...only to find my camera batteries died. BUT I was able to recover and find some new batteries and complete today's project, brought to us, as always, but the almost married Kristine.

Today's assignment:

1. Something sparkly
2. Something dull
3. Something colorful



Something sparkly: An easy one, what with a house with two girls in it!

Something dull: But will soon have the perfect picture hanging here, thanks to Al:

3. Something colorful: Al's dress, not even remotely a Pucci:

Did you play?

Top 5 Jobs I've Held in My Lifetime

5. Janitor in college. I only had to work like 1-2 hours a DAY, it was great. All I had to do was clean up the bathrooms at the gym and then vacuum the boys' basketball locker room. I learned two important things: 1. Girls are WAY grosser than boys. 2. Basketball players really don't care if you accidentally walk in on them naked. They almost enjoy it. (or is that common knowledge?) Oh! And I gained a new nickname, the "JANA-tor." Har de har.

4. Waitress at Ponderosa. My first 'real' job. It wasn't the waitressing, I loathed that, and will forever tip my waitresses plentiful for the crap they have to endure. No, once I was 'promoted' to Salad Girl, that's when the fun started. Who knew refilling chocolate pudding and caesar salad could be so much fun? And hanging out in the freezer with your boyfriend? (who was the fry cook btw, I'm so proud). We'd come home from work smelling MIGHTY nice. Whew!

3. Transcriptionist. What can I say, I love my job. It's so easy. I had just quit my full-time job and had a baby, and one of my friends was transcribing notes for her aunt who was a therapist, and she hated it. I offered to help her out, since I A) love to type and B) have serious social anxiety so what better job to have than working from home? And I was right. I also was doing research notes on an Alzheimer's project, and it was very interesting (and heartbreaking) since my grandma was stricken with the same disease. I went back to school to get my medical certificate and now I have a great job working from home so I can blog when I need to! Woo hoo!

2. Camp secretary/store operator. My senior year in college I went with a friend of mine to work at a girl's summer camp in Minnesota. It was so much fun, and Minnesota is such a beautiful place. Each night after dinner the girls got to go to my 'store' and have snacks, as there was no candy allowed. I also had the task of going through packages to make sure no candy was 'smuggled' and once I found a teddy bear that had been re-sewn STUFFED with candy. Like contraband! I felt like the guy finding the nail file in the cake Pee Wee Herman made for Mickey.

and the number 1 job I've held in my lifetime:

1. Lemonade maker at the County Fair. Ohhhhhhhh, yeah. I do not have any idea how I got this job. Or how someone would let a 10 year old squeeze lemons for lemonade, but that is what I did. And it was the best damn lemonade you ever tasted. I do also remember having the day before played an intense game of "Summer Games" on our Commodore 64, and getting the lemon juice in a cut on my palm. Nice, nothing like having freshly squeezed lemonade made for you by a kid with open sores from playing too many video games. Damn kids these days.

Weekend warriors

We decided at the last minute to take the girls camping Sunday. Some friends of ours already had a huge campsite and had invited us down.

Camping has got to be on my top 20 list of favorite things to do. My dad was an Eagle Scout, and he was also a teacher so he had the summers off, and we would go camping at least 2-3 times each summer. I love the smells, the sounds, everything about it.

LP hates camping.

Well, that's not true. He loves camping, he hates sleeping on an air mattress in a TENT. He'd much rather be in an air conditioned, sound proof cabin. Yeah, you knew he was a bit prettyboy, didn't you? We have yet to come up with a solution, as cabins are muy expensive, and IMO take part of the camping out of camping. Ah but fortunately both my kids love camping so they're on my side, and majority rules, in this situation anyway. A popup camper would be the solution, if we had a tow package on the Minivan, which we do not.

We stayed at a great campground, surrounded by a lot of fun and great people. Some I didn't know very well, but all of us had a fantastic time. There were at least 20 kids total, and there were no fights! A few words, but no real crises. The girls beat the boys in water football, they all took turns on the rope swing (**note...this picture was taken by me, balancing belly deep in water on a log with my digital camera, thus the poor picture quality!**) had a massive marshmallow fight, ate smores and made memories that will hopefully last longer than a few days! And the best part was being pregnant, everyone waited on me even when I didn't want them to. How's that for a quality weekend!

SPF: Not really

I set out to do SPF today, but it ended up sort of half assed. But like Bart Simpson told Homer, "I prefer your half-assed parenting to your over-parenting." So it is what it is folks.

My ground:

This was taken by my 6-year old, when I gave her the camera and said, "GO OUT SIDE. DO SOMETHING." Yeah, the first day of summer vacation. Seriously.

What I'm powerless from:

These two sweet beautiful little girls turning into teenagers. Sometimes I wish I could freeze time. But I can't. I can only try to make them as happy and confident and safe as I can.

Before this turns into a "Very Special Vajana" Show, I wish you all a great Memorial Day Weekend. Be sure to say an extra toast to any soldier you know or have known in the past. And the ones who don't get to take this weekend off. Although I won't be able to toast with alcohol, I will be able to raise up a BBQ sandwich in their honor as I head out to Rib America. (*secret--if you click on that link you'll get an extra special treat of a Rick Springfield pic! Unfortunately he won't be here but still!*)

I'm outta here! Word to yo mutha.

Not Ready To Make Nice

Yesterday I was feeling quite melancholy. I was re-hashing several frustrating moments in my head, and feeling just a little bit like having a pity party. Not for myself, but for society as a whole, because it seems to be like some things are a bit screwy.

So I did what any normal, red-blooded, crabby woman would do. I went shopping.

I had several errands to run, and on my way to picking up some packing tape, I bought the new CD from the Dixie Chicks. And my mood lifted immediately as I slid the disk into my car player.

The Dixie Chicks and I formed an oddball relationship several years ago. I'm not one for country music, not that I will completely admonish it, it's just not a pre-set on my dial. Back in 2000, the only thing I'd heard of the Chicks was that they existed.

The night Rug was born, they stuck me in my room around midnight. Rug was exhausted, she just slept. But me, I was all fired up with adrenalin, who was gonna sleep? I'd just given birth to a human being, and for those in the know, the effort exerted does not equate to brushing your teeth. It's a little higher on the Exertion Scale.

So of course the hospital has basic cable. My choices were: infomercials, QVC, infomercials, reruns of "Renegade" or the Country Music Channel. And while Lorenzo Lamas was just delicious in "Grease", I had no desire to watch him drive his mo-mo cycle and solve crimes. I turned on CMT, and these crazy girls were singing in their wedding dresses, running around. But it was such a sweet song, 'Ready to Run', and I will forever remember that song as part of my stay while having Rug. I bought their CD as soon as I got home from the hospital.

Since then I've gotten every CD of theirs, and I honestly know all the songs.

When the controversy occurred in 2003 regarding Natalie Maines statements happened, the first thing I thought was, "Yeah, this will not bode well in the red states." I probably didn't hear much of the fervor, since I don't listen to country stations, I just listen to their CDs.

But when I got her CD and listened to her songs, it was obvious she had become quite disillusioned about the situation, and was still struggling to deal with...well, I'd like to say the abandonment of her fan base, but from her song it sounds like she had to deal with much, much more:

How in the world can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they'd write me a letter sayin' that I better shut up and sing

Or my life will be over

I plan on listening to their CD a lot, and any more that they continue to make. I'm glad they did't back down. Several reviews of their CD I read said something to the effect of, "Couldn't they have just let it go?" Like let's just move on...if your kid was threatened with their life, could you just 'let it go'???? But in the end, it's their music I love, and it makes me happy. It seems to me that some people need a little more of that, happy.

P.S. I was going to post more, but I read kerrianne's take on it, and it's far better written.

Stupid Girls

I just love that song by Pink. I hope I can raise my daughters to think for themselves. Pink is such a great role model, in my opinion. Doesn't take crap!

Every morning I have woken up thinking, boy I need to blog. I have solidified myself as never becoming a writer, cuz jeebus if I can get writer's block from a BLOG, a novel would give a breakdown.

Here is something very anti-soccer mom: WE DO NOT HAVE SOCCER FOR A MONTH! YIPPEE!!!! I am so elated I could cry. Not only that we don't have practice and games to shuffle to, but all the politics and gossiping that the soccer 'world' emanates. It amazes me the B.S. people create for themselves about the most ridiculous things. I am just as glad to have the girls out of school. There is a few girls in particular in the 3rd grade that I will be looking forward to my daughter getting a break from. Remember when Al stood up for herself the other day? Well, it was over who was sitting by whom at lunchtime. There is a certain girl who sort of 'monopolozies" her, and does that whole "If-you-don't-sit-by-me-you're-not-my-friend" bit. When Al finally stood up to her, it came back to her that allegedly this girl told everyone she wished "her mom would have a miscarriage." Al came home with this information, totally distraught, naturally. I was STUNNED that something like that would occur!! I had to call the mom, and it was just this whole nasty business that I am glad to be done with. Bring on the summer!

Although, I cannot count with one hand how many times my kids have already told me they are bored. I'd have to use my toes too!

Clarification

Hm, apparently "RMP" is not widely known, maybe it has a different name?

Basically you draw a circle on a notebook page, on the top write the letters "RMP", meaning 'rich', 'medium' or 'poor'.

Then ask the other person to name 3 people they want to marry. Write the names on the right side of the circle.

Next ask them 3 cars they want. Write them on the bottom.

Finally, the type of house they want to live in, and the 3 answers on the left of the circle. This one was usually the goofiest, as I always wrote I wanted to live in a hut, or a treehouse, or a pyramid, in which none made sense, since I was going to be a mermaid in the future, after all.

Make the person close their eyes, and start drawing tag marks in the middle of the circle until they said 'STOP'. Count the lines, and then count around the circle, crossing out the name you land on once you counted to that number. Continue doing so until all but one choice from each category remained, and Wah-LAH! Your future has arrived, on a piece of notebook paper.

Had this truly worked, I'd be rich, living in a treehouse with C. Thomas Howell driving an I-Roc.

ode to thee, Promethazine

I finally got my new prescription filled last night. I took it right before bed because the pharmacist insisted it would make me 'very, very drowsy.' So I guess no front axel on this medication.

Woo wee he wasn't kiddin. I slept like a dead Bigfoot I did. I woke up and for once I did. not. feel. nauseous. I shall say no more, do not want to jinx it, because I'm 12 and I still believe in that crap. I also believe in the game 'RMP' and if you don't know what that is, tis a sad thing.

Today my 3rd grader is having a 'Chocolate" party at her school, and I am partaking by bringing ice cream and chocolate syrup. But I will be known as the cool mom because I also bought 'Magic Shell' and as everyone knows, that's just the coolest. Al's mom has got it goin' on. Yes ah do.

I have to go shower now, but I shall leave you with two things. A top 5 list, and a picture of what I got for Mother's day. It shall from this day forth be dubbed the "Guilt Ring", as in, my wife is throwing up every single day and I feel bad cuz I can still eat an entire blooming onion in front of her so maybe if I get her this she might feel better. And yes, I DO.

Top 5 foods I have been unable to keep down in the past 3 months:
5. Bran flakes. Oh hell no.
4. Miso soup, actually, any soup.
3. Chocolate. Well, I haven't even tried. Even looking at it makes me sick. It's so sad.
2. Whole wheat toast. Why? White toast is fine.
and the number one thing I cannot keep down?

1. Any type of burgers from anywhere but McDonalds. Do you know how sick this is? I loathe McDonalds. But for some odd reason, they comfort me. Very weird.

Oh and p.s.? Culver's will now officially be known as the First Public Place I Had to Hurl. (the port-a-potty doesn't count, at least no one could hear me! Eww!)

Happy Mother's Day

Not just for the mothers out there, but to everyone who has taken the time to encourage someone else and look after another person or even animal.

This weekend I got to do my favorite thing about mothering...warping my children. I made them dance to "My Sharona" and "You're too Good to Be True" (I love you babeeee and if it's quite alright I need you babeee....). I also made them watch The Muppet Movie and sing Rainbow Connection as loud as they could.

They are in the den right now watching "Midnight Madness". Yes, the warping, it is fun.

Next up is "Rubin & Ed." Because my cat can eat a WHOLE watermelon.

you gotta fight

Yesterday my eldest stood up for herself.

She had been dealing with a girl who insists they are best friends, when in truth, she is a bully.

She's one of those "if you don't sit by me, you're not my friend" kind of girls.

My daughter and I practiced the night before what to say if that happened again.

And she did it. And she came home and said, "Mom! I am so proud of myself, I stood up for myself and it felt SOOOO good!!!"

I am so happy for you, babe. Maybe this way your best friend won't sleep with your boyfriend like mine did in 10th grade. Dammit!

p.s. there is a whole other sad, sordid part to this story, and it almost hurts me to talk about it, but this morning the guy at walgreen's was singing when he checked me out and made me smile, and he will never have any idea how he absolutely restored my faith in humans by that one gesture.

And I will do SPF later when I'm feeling better!

Recoup Monday

We left Friday afternoon to go to Champaign Illinois for a soccer tournament and were gone all weekend. It was a really fun time, and LP got to see his alma mater, University of Illinois. I enjoyed getting to see where his ex-girlfriend's sorority house was, and also the library where he worked! It was like a "This is Your Life" tour. Such fun.

I did get to eat Jimmy John's twice too, in its intended format, which is in a college town. Jimmy John's just tastes better when you are surrounded by students with laptops studying. Or those just waking up from partying the night before at 1 in the afternoon.

I learned several things:

1. Tequila still has the same effect on LP as it always has.
2. Garbage trucks do not care who is sleeping at 5:30 on a Saturday morning.
3. Throwing up in a Port a Potty is a very, very bad experience.
4. Not all soccer parents are as psycho crazy as the ones in our area **seriously I was SO thrilled by this, the other parents were friendly, and non-psycho. We had a game yesterday as soon as we got home again, and it was right back to psycho soccer parents. Weird. It must be this area.**
5. 1 in 2 college students wear their iPods like it's oxygen.
6. I'm gettin' real old.
7. Central Illinois is pretty boring.
8. It's difficult to tell one of your friends that her child is evil and she believe you.
9. Get up early, that continental breakfast doesn't get replenished!
10. LP rocks even if he stayed out too late Friday night, he did all the laundry when we got home, so that totally makes up for it.

I still however, have to figure out what is worse: being in a small hotel room after my husband has had a night of debauchery (I'm sure you know the stench I speak of), or walking outside to get fresh air only to breathe in a nice hefty dose of marijuana remnants from the fiesta our neighbors had for Cinco de Mayo! Muy bueno!

Guess what?

I got to hear the baby's heartbeat today!!!




Oh my gosh.

haven't done this in awhile so I thought I would...

Top 5 Favorite Candy Bars of Mine*

* This is in tribute to the fact that I have had absolutely no chocolate since being preggers. Not by choice mind you, the thought of it just makes me hurl. By the way, the toilet and I have gotten so close, we shall announce our engagement soon.


5. Mr. Goodbar
4. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (not really a bar, per se, but)
3. Butterfinger
2. Twix with peanut butter

and my number #1 favorite candy bar:

1. Take Five Oh my gosh the goodness of this candy bar! Why did someone not think of these sooner?

Speaking of candy bars, there was a hotel near my house when I was little that allowed the neighbor kids swim in their pool for a nominal fee. This is the same place where some stupid teenager stepped on my head while I was underwater. Anyway, they had a snack stand and I would always get this candy called Oompa Loompas. They were somewhat of a precursor to Reese's Pieces, but bigger and much better. I so did not make this up. Does anyone remember these besides me? Yes! I was not imagining them!!

Anyway. My favorite candy memory is going to the wholesale candy store down the street from our house and the gigantic boxes of that sugary sweet Rope Gum. That stuff rocked. Man do I miss that store. But do you know I never got a cavity until I was 25? Mmmm. Candy.

Anyone else have good candy memories??

Meal Makers

Has anyone tried Meal Makers? It's new here, and I was wanting to try it out. You go to this place, and they have all the ingredients to make 12 dinners, and give you stuff to freeze all the dinners in. It would be a Godsend once this baby comes.

This weekend, glad it's over. We had a bit of a nasty soccer game today, when one of the other soccer parents on the other team mocked one of our kids when she was excited about scoring a goal for us (they were winning 4-1, so it's not like he was being a sore loser). LP told him to show some sportsmanship, and Ol' Man shut the hell up. Why such nastiness?

On happier news, I went to a Baby Fair today, in hopes of scoring some free goodies. I got a nice little diaper bag, a free "Dr. Brown" bottle, some Enfamil and a baby spoon. Score! Doesn't take much to make me excited.

I was a bit put off however, when I saw my doctor there and proceeded to introduce my husband. She not only blew me off, but kinda blew him off too. Granted I've only gone to her once, but still. I'd like to think my doctor would remember me. Whatever, she was the one handing out the free diaper bags, so I'm not complaining. Well, okay, I guess I am. But as a wise man once said, I can't complain, but sometimes I still do...life's been good to me....yeah, you know the rest.

On the morning sickness front, hasn't gotten much better, but someone suggested sucking on hard candy so I'm gonna try that. The only thing still that I can keep down, are McDonald's cheese burgers and apples. Mmm I'm gonna go get me a Pink Lady right now.

I had a dream last night that I went to this 80's toy store, and it had EVERY toy from the 80s you could imagine. I was on information overload, and was grabbing every Strawberry Shortcake doll I could hold. I went by the Wuzzles, though, they always kind of freaked me out. My brother used to always say they lived too close to a nuclear power plant or something.

This week we have a field trip to a dairy farm, sign ups for swim team, "Girls Night Out" (with my mother, so it's the 60+ crowd), Cinco de Mayo that I will be the DD for, and a short trip to Champaign Illinois for a soccer tournament. Hopefully it will not require bringing the Sock Em Bop Ems.

Time for an anatomy lesson

Scene: In the car ride home from school.

A: 8 year old
R: 6 year old
Me: Yeah, that's me.


A: Oh my gosh Mom, the second grade boys are so mean! And...well, they started calling Courtney a very inappropriate name. I mean, oh my gosh REALLY inappropriate.

Me: Oh, well, that's 2nd grade boys for ya.

R: What was it?

A: *snicker* It is so inappropriate, I would be embarrassed to say it! *snicker*

Me: Well, go ahead, you know I don't care.

A: Mom, they called her "Mrs. Balls" !!!!!!

Me: (laughing) What? Why in the world would they call her that? That doesn't even make sense.

A: (we're all laughing now) I know! But they did, they called her "Mrs. Balls."

R: Well, what does that mean? Mrs. Balls?

A: Oh, don't you know...Balls are why you have to wear a bra when you get older!

Me: ???!??!?!?! What!?? No they're not! (laughing hysterically now)

A: Oh, Mom, yes they are. *sigh*.

************

Okay, so how on earth did my daughter not know that boobies and balls are two totally different things? I mean, sure my husband calls them funbags, but that's way off.

On Hiatus again

So this 'morning' (noon and night) sickness has really kicked me in the arse. I have not kept anything down in over a week, so yes I'm calling the doctor today. Folding laundry requires me to take a 20 minute nap, obviously something ain't right. Saturday it all came to a head when I was lying on my bathroom tile with my body pillow in a fetal position crying and throwing up at the same time. I will certainly keep you posted on any changes in my condition!

UPDATE: I went to the doctor this morning and I've lost 5 lbs. in a week, so she put me on Reglan and may do an ultrasound next week to make sure nothing else is wrong. On a related note, my mother called me today, and said her neighbor lady told her throwing up is very normal for pregnancy. Fuck off, neighbor lady.

Windy

Just got back from a two day jaunt to Chicago. I am still recuperating. Two girls, a mother in law and a sister in law with a pregnant driver in one car can really wear somebody out. Be back later.

SPF--Pre Easter

Since I totally bailed last week on SPF, (I tried, I really did) I felt this week I needed to have some sort of showing, no matter how poor and pathetic it might be.

So thanks again to Kristine, our fearless leader, for sponsoring this every Friday.

1. Your friends outside the blogger world.
2. Something fuzzy.
3. Something you want to dye/die.


1. My best friend Amy. I've known her since 3rd grade, and we have had our ups and downs but I know no matter what she will be there for me. She has got my back, and I've got hers fo sho.

And my mamma and papa. Do you have any idea how much I'd get my arse kicked if my mother knew I posted this on the internet? She thinks the internet is just for gay porn.

2. Something fuzzy:

3. Something I wish would die already: This vine in my front yard. I can't wait to hire that landscaper this year! Obviously my dad's green thumb was not inherited.

That's it from me today. It's 80 degrees outside, and I've got some blessing to go count. Thanks, Deb for the assignment I should already be doing.

(thinking of all of you today)

I'm going Slightly Mad

I really had planned on posting yesterday about the Queen American Idol episode, but DEAR LORD the preggo hormones were all up in my intestines causing great distress and making me hurl my toast all day long. I can't say I'm not getting just a wee bit tired of these shenanigans. When do I start glowing is all I'm sayin.

I must blame the Blogosphere for my interest in AI this year. Before now, I'd never SEEN an episode of it. EVER. Sure I knew who the winner were--how couldn't you?--but I never sat down and witnessed and partook (is that a word?) in the cultural phenomenon known as the Idol. Paula Abdul was still straight up, as far as I was concerned.

We sat down to watch some of the auditions, and my daughters were TICKLED. We were all pretty entertained by the characters that we saw. (The best still being the Ukrainian chick singing "Bohemian Rhapsody". Oh yes. She should have at least gotten a better deal than that "She Bangs" guy. Seriously).

So Tuesday night when my preggo body decided to hang it up for the day and go nowhere but the couch, I had no choice but to watch TV all night. I was very excited to learn that it was Queen night at the ballpark. One of my all time favorite bands. I called LP in to watch, and we did, together, cuz the girls were off watching some crappy Disney channel show.

***Flashback*** When we were dating, LP and I were talking and he responded to one of my queries with, "Hey, I'm just a man with a man's courage." I stopped for a second, knowing I'd heard these words before. Then I screamed, "Oh my gosh! That's from Flash! I love that movie!" He replied, "What do you mean, Flash Gordon approaching? Open fire!" Again, one more sign from Above that he was the One. ***

I was very curious what songs the kids would pick, me feeling very, very old as most of these kids probably never listened to Queen in their lives. I was also anticipating Cat's rundown the next day, but she's off spending time with her kids, who the hell does she think she is anyway? Being a good parent like that. But anyway. I know I could never do justice to a recap like hers.

I was amazed at how prophetic LP was in Simon's responses though. When Chris got up to sing Innuendo, LP said, "That was good vocals but he didn't pick the right song. He could have had the best one if he picked a song that was likeable." Then Simon went on to say the same.

In the end, I am stunned, nay, PERPLEXED, as to why Ace is still on that show. That. Was. Awful. I can't say that I've seen any of his prior work, but when the members of Queen are hacked off with you, isn't that a sign?? Hello? I'm fairly certain Brian May has an idear.

My favorite cover? None of them. If you want to hear a good cover, go watch "Ella Enchanted" and hear Anne Hathaway singing "Somebody to Love". It's much better.

Best thing that came out of the night was the argument LP and I had about a Queen video. We were talking about the video when the whole band was dressed in drag, and he insisted it was "Radio Ga Ga". Oh no, I am sure it was "I want to Break Free."

So in conclusion, the one thing that truly makes me happy is being right. Yes. And men in drag. That's always a good time.

oh and a few more things

Today is Opening Day at the ballpark for the Cardinals. My father, who is the Father of All Conspiracy Theories and who really does still think it's 1963, is very bitter about this ballpark, because he says it's 'courting the richies'. Basically, you can't go to a ballgame for less than $100. For once I'm going to have to agree with my dad. We didn't have a lot of money when I was a kid, but you can be darn sure we could afford the bleacher seats at Busch Stadium. Now it requires photo I.D. and a very large checking account just to get the crappy seats. But oh well, I'm sure sometime this season we will be lucky enough to score some free tickets. That's the only way I'll justify going. But I still loves my Cards.

In other news, I sure do love those Gateway Grizzlies. They are an independent league located in my husband's hometown (also home of several 'adult bars' which means if you hear someone from St. Louis talking about the 'east side' yeah, this is the place). The games are a RIOT to go to, sometimes they hand out maracas to shake when the opposing team is at bat, and they always have contests for the kids. AND it's super duper cheap to go.

But now, if I haven't told you about this, they have devised a plan to attract more fans.

Again I say, only in the Midwest.

Best Burger in the World!

Monday and dragging

I have spent the majority of the weekend either cleaning incessantly or laying on the couch or in the bathroom hurling. Therefore I have not blogged!

This 'morning' sickness is really kicking my ass! At least I got the okay from the doctor to eat toast with peanut butter on it, my all time favorite thing to eat. I've been taking B6 and it seemed to help at first but now it's a lost cause. Blah.

The nesting hasn't completely kicked in yet, but I was able to get most of the basement cleaned and with help from LP the garage. I did not realize vacuuming up pill bugs could be so much fun.

Last week was Al's musical, "The Space Mice Invade" or whatever, and I have some HILARIOUS video of my diva daughter, asking the kid to put the microphone in front of her and then totally hogging it and basically loving that microphone like it was her own. Yes, my kid was the dork who you could hear above all others. We're talking 1st through 4th grade, and all you could hear was my kid! I kept telling her to back up but she kept inching closer and closer. Ah, those few seconds of fame. It reminded me of the footage of the crazy Spelling Bee girl who was all up in that microphone spelling that word! Yes, one of these days I will figure out how to put video here, and I will play it. Mark my words.

No other news to report. I am working all week, and the girls are off thurs and Friday so I'm sure we'll be doing some easter egg coloring and probably some Rice Krispies square making. It's a Holiday so that means lots of Hopping to and fro from house to grandparent house, as none of them have the decency to be in the same room as one another. We are then leaving a week from today to go to Chicago to the American Girl Place for some wondrous girlie joy.

And in case you were wondering, THIS is what my little Trixster looks like in mah belly right now. (Thanks to CK for the new nickname btw!)

Be ready....

for some REALLY GOOD NEWS!!!!

Congrats!

The Dooce method of Sleep

Gah! Have you all been over to the Dooce's place? 475 comments on how to get a baby to sleep. Unbelievable. I'm amazed. That woman must have to take a Xanax just to read her comments.

To be honest, one of the reasons I hesitated on having a third child is the sleep issue. It is true, believe it or not, babies really do keep you up at night. I'm here as a walking zombie to prove that.

My first child inherited my sleeping habits. I was a non-sleeper from the beginning. They called it colic back then, they call it 'acid reflux' now. Whatever, it just involves a LOT of crying. And no sleep. For anyone.

She would sleep for 10 minutes at a time. No kidding! 10! We called them 'Ala-naps' and laughed and laughed because, well, we were going insane. We never had a chance to do the 'crying it out'method with her, because well, she never really slept and she cried it out for 5 hours at a time even when we were holding her, coddling her, sleeping with her, throwing her in the air...I mean, well she just never stopped crying.

Sometimes, after the 6th or 7th hour of crying, I admit, I would put her in her crib and let her cry for awhile. Not because I did not love her. Not because it was 'inconvenient' for me to hold her. It was because I had exhausted all possible scenarios of why she was crying, and if I didn't take a break from her for 5 minutes, I was going to stick my head in the microwave.

That did not make me a bad mother. At. All. I was a tired, sleep-deprived, exhausted and worn out mother who loved her child but could not get her to stop crying.

When Al was about 2, way past her sleeping through the night, she had a phase of waking up in the middle of the night, coming into our room and sleeping in our bed. At first, I loved it, I always love being by my kids, and it was much easier than getting up. But then it got annoying, and we weren't sleeping and continually waking up at night. So, when she did it, I got up, put her back in her bed, and after a week or so, she stopped coming into our room.

That did not make me a bad mother. At. All. I was tired, sleep-deprived, and wanted my daughter to be able to go back to sleep ON HER OWN.

My second daughter slept through the night at two days old. I've never had to force to sleep, ever. She would fall asleep on a roller coaster. I believe this is well deserved.

That did not make me a bad mother. At. All. I did not drug her, knock her unconscious, or do illegal drugs during my pregnancy to make her such a sleepy child. She's just our Bear.

I cannot stand when other people judge you for your mothering. It's one thing if I am berating my child, or calling them effing idiots because they won't go to effing sleep already. I was really stunned at some of the commenters, saying we did not love our children and how psychologically damaging we were being to our children. One even threatened to turn Dooce into the authorities. Are you KIDDING me?

Look people. I have worked at a shelter for abused kids. I have SEEN it with my own eyes. I have seen 6 month old kids with broken arms because "he wasn't mindin'." THAT, that is abuse.

Teaching your child to be independent, and to comfort themselves, that is not. It's love.

Trust me. I have a brother who is 35 years old and still lives at home. I think I know what I'm talking about when I say, sometimes it is OKAY to say 'no' to your kids, and let themselves cry themselves to sleep sometimes.

As Dooce says, Land mines be damned.

And shoot, my kids have turned out COMPLETELY normal. See?




Oh.........crap.

You're one in a Million

Mrtl gave us a Motif Monday yesterday, and since I spent most of yesterday yakking due to morning sickness, I didn't participate. But instead of sleeping last night, I stayed up thinking of what exactly I would purchase if I had a million dollars.

I came up with a lot.

I know that a million dollars wouldn't stop my from working or anything like that, but it certainly would make things a little easier. Of course I would buy a house, one with first floor laundry, an inground pool and one of those cute little fountain things in the backyard. That will take up a big chunk of the cash. But what's leftover I will use for this:

1. My Dad a Ford Mustang like he has always wanted.

2. LP whatever car he wanted. (at the moment I can't think of what tops his list)

3. An RV for me and one for my parents.

4. I'd totally take 6 weeks off to go traveling. I'd take all the grandparents to Orlando, but not at the same time, natch. And then I'd take my fam to Europe for a month or so.

5. A cute little personal trainer.

6. A very expensive treadmill.

7. Some money for a much nicer nursing home for my grandma, or someone to take care of her. Or both.

8. I'd like one of those nice heated towel racks. I hate getting out of the shower.

9. A Sea Doo! Those things are really cool.

10. A Ms. Pac Man tabletop game, with Galaga on it.

11. Yeah, more traveling. I'd rather see stuff than have stuff.

Okay so that's my millions. Pretty lame, but what can I say, I've had very little sleep and hormones raging through my body. Creativity is not my top priority.

Tomorrow is Al's big Spring Musical, "The Space Mice Invade Earth!" or something like that. She is a space mouse, and has learned that you cannot wear purple striped underwear when wearing white pants. Good lesson to learn.

Oh and the other night when a tornado ripped through this area? Yeah, we were in the basement playing "Simpsons Monopoly". I of course was the three eyed fish. Rug won.

Azaleas

If I had any photography skills at all, I would totally take a picture of my azalea bush I can see out my window right now. It's so pretty.

I had my first doctor appointment on Friday, actually it was with the midwife. Not sure how that all works; this is a new doctor's office as my old OB-gyn retired (who was FABULOUS). This is an all-woman office. Anyway, LP came with me, as he witnessed both children being born and ultrasounds, but never the Pap smear itself. Needless to say he was far from enthused.

LP was also off Thursday and Friday and he went on a field trip with Al on Thursday to the St. Louis Steamers game. Friday he went and was able to get up close and personal with 3rd graders while helping them paint ceramic Easter eggs. I always enjoy when he volunteers at the girls' school and is able to witness the insanity of children first hand. Always fun to get his perspective.

We saw "Ice Age 2" Friday night, that was pretty funny. And proof that original ideas do exist.

Today was a beautiful Spring day, in the 80s. Al had a soccer game, and they played much better than what they have been, won 2-0. Rug entertained herself by making dandelion bracelets, which has to be my all time favorite pasttime from my childhood, not including catching lightning bugs of course.

Not much else to report on a Sunday evening, just trying to keep on keeping on. Looking forward to watching a thunderstorm roll in and help bring May flowers.

You're Beautiful

I guess I will be spending much of this week getting THAT song out of my head.

Last week was spent consoling my 8 year old for she did not win the "High School Musical Lunch takeover" from Radio Disney. 'But Mom, I entered the code word EVERY SINGLE DAY!' It is a shame that a company so dear to her heart can be the teacher of such a life lesson, i.e. even Radio Disney can screw you over.

Well I had some very good answers for the trivia, and as I said, I knew Mrtl would get the brown sugar question. She is all about the baking, that lady. But I shall not say I'd love to try one of her pies, because that would just be...uh...wrong.

Anyway. Amy was correct, the VW Beetle was the most sold car in the 50s and 60s. Too bad one of those same cars drove me to high school every day via my neighbor, as their heating mechanism tends to fail over time, and DAMN it is cold in St. Louis in the winters!!

Elvis' favorite drink was PEPSI, or so the official drink of Graceland so claims. I thought it was going to be something like sasparilla or hootch or something. Needless to say the Elvis category was not one of my best.

Molasses to brown sugar. Yes! in my best Ed McMahon voice.

The Flintstones apparently used CLAMS for money, hence the nickname. Our final guess was turtles, because I honestly could not recall them EVER paying for anything. I thought they just bartered. And they were in the Royal order of the Water Buffalos, so didn't they get free stuff?

I am saddened to say one of my favorite blog haunts, debutant, has decided to close up shop for awhile, hopefully only temporarily. For whatever reasons I can certainly respect her decision, but she was a daily inspiration for me and will be missed. Hopefully I can try to continue using her wisdom and motivation for my own blogging and use her strength as hope for my own life.

***** And in weather news, it's supposed to be in the 60s this week so I doubt you will see me too much! I need to go outside and get some sunrays!!******

Appreciation

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to congratulate me on my 'secret'. It is really strange to me that I am pregnant again, my kids are 8 and 6, it's been awhile! I hemmed and hawed about it for years, LP has been begging me since Rug was a baby to have another one. She took a lot out of me, and, I just couldn't see how we could have one more. But, we are! And I am so glad I can share all the great boring details of my pregnancy with YOU. :)

The first time I was preggers, I was too busy thinking about getting married, and getting settled, and the second time we were moving into a new house, and I got a new job, it was chaotic. This time, I should be able to enjoy it more, and relax. But I think I'm more neurotic than ever! Imagine that!

Last week was exhausting for me. Working until 9 or so at night transcribing, I was beat. Down. Men will never understand the 'fatigue' part of pregnancy. It's not like we're just a little tired and need to rest our wee little heads. It's collapsing, I cannot take another step fatigue. I made the beds and cleaned up the kitchen this morning and that required a 20 minute rest!

So here's my Monday tangent: I wanted to wait until Friday to tell my girls the news, because that is when I go to my first doctor's visit. I am a little leery about telling such news that may have not so good outcomes. Anyway, I was giving LP a real hard time about it, because he wanted to shout it out with a megaphone, and I wanted it kept quiet, and then...Boom goes the Dynamite, I let it slip Thursday night at dinner. The girls were ELATED. They screamed, they clapped, they..did not ask any uncomfortable questions. (YET)

Having had told them, I thought it was appropriate to just go ahead and spread the word. I told 3 of my very good friends, and then later at the soccer games I told the grandparents.

I do NOT like being the center of attention EVER, so I did not tell anyone else.

Today, at Al's soccer game, LP told some of the dads when we arrived, and later on, Rug came over to ask me how I was feeling, and that the baby was probably as big as 'sushi' right now. Well, one of my other Soccer Mom friends was extremely miffed that I had not told her right away about the information. I mean, not ha ha, I'm mad at you. NOT talking to me mad at me. She could not believe I had not told her yet. Well, I was just like, whatever, be mad. I am not about to let someone take away my excitement and make me feel less because they were not the right number on a pecking order. Whatev, I didn't care.

What bothered me was that she went over and told EVERYONE ELSE, "Uh, just so YOU know, and aren't the LAST to know like I was, but Jana is pregnant." Just.Like. That.

Yeah, way out of line, and really, totally weird, right? Who gives a shit about what I do anyway? I'm just a girl, a girl in the world. Give me a break!

Yes. I am done.

On a much brighter note, my parents, my dad's cousins, LP and I won 2nd place at a trivia night last night! Woo hoo! That useless information I store so delicately in my mind finally had some pay off. Well, okay, we basically broke even, but still! 2nd place! And the categories, totally written for me: Cardinals Baseball, TV cartoons, Movie Clips, Name Brands/Logos, TV sitcom theme songs. Yeah, I completely swept the cartoon category. Too bad there wasn't a "Muppet" category, we'd of won 1st for sure!

So here were a few questions we got right, see if you can answer them:

1. What was the most popular vehicle make/model sold worldwide in the 50s and 60s?

2. What was Elvis' favorite soft drink?

3. What do you add to sugar to get brown sugar?

4. What did the Flintstones use for money?

Good luck!!! (* Okay, I lied, we totally got #4 wrong. WTF? I just remember the washing machine and the typewriter!)

SPF Friday-- HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I had to participate this week because the lovely KRISTINE is having her 29th birthday and she has all invited us for a big blog party. What a blog party! Big blogs, little blogs...(with apologies to "Go Dog Go" one of my favorite kid books)

Anyway, she is wanting some love, and rightly so. She has been the keeper of SPF and is just a great gal, so she deserves some blogger love. Happy Birthday Kristine, hope you can have what you love, and love all you have!!

SPF:

1. What I would 'cyber' give to Kristine for her birthday as a gift.

2. 3 words on a piece of paper that describe Kristine.

3. A stupid face of me. (that's easy!)

Oh and by the way, go to Kristine's and drive yourself crazy with the rock band picture. LP and I have been working on it all morning. Then wish her a glorious birthday.


What I would give Kristine as a gift:



I know she has been wanting to do some mad landscaping, so she could use some Home Depot shopping for some bulbs and plants and what not to decorate her outdoor space.

But do not purchase cabinets there. I think I have made that abundantly clear to you people.




3 words that describe Kristine:


See, my daughter is learning about the -ous suffix this week in school, so I felt I needed to exercise her lesson. And get yet another flippin' gratuitious shot of my cat.











Only on the internet people. Happy Birthday Kristine, I don't act stupid for just anyone.












And finally, since this is the day when I usually have more than 2 people stop by, if you feel inclined, I will share with you a little bitty secret.

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT.

Ciao!

Dear Diary:

This post is strictly for my own posterity.

Wednesday: Sandy came over, complained and complained about everything. I feel so badly for her. I want her to be happy.

Thursday: You know what happened on this day. You know.

Friday: LP totally broke a promise. I sulked. We also had dinner with T & J, but not really. It was weird.

Saturday: Rug scored a goal on her new soccer team, she is playing up a year and she did great. I am so proud of her. Went to Pizza Man for lunch. Played DDR, of course.

Sunday: Tried to match all of the white socks in the house with its respective matching sock. I still came out with about 12 socks with a mate. Where do they go.

I made the girls watch "Clash of the Titans" before they went and bastardized it with a remake. Not that anyone would really bother with it. Ah, but the Kraken, he just ROCKS.

It is supposed to snow tonight. It's March already! i want spring!!

The time is NOW people

There is a very detrimental social issue that has been all but ignored in our culture. It is yet another obvious sign of the Apocalypse, as well as the fall of our civilization as we know it today.

Hollywood has gone mad, people.

The movie remakes, are OUT OF CONTROL. Completely.

But where are the boycotts? Why are we accepting these horrible, putrid facades to continue? When will the madness stop?

About 10 years ago, I worked as an after-school tutor. I had a very smart, young girl as one of my students, who just needed some extra time for her work (Her parents were the Super Parents, and had enlisted this poor child in every activity under the sun, and then could not understand why she was getting poor grades. I digress.). One night, we were correcting her homework, and she got 100%, and I said, "Hey hey hey!" and she looked at me quizzically. "you know, Fat Albert." "Uh, no. Who's he?"

At the time I was only 23, and could only accept that her parents did not educate her well enough on what was to me, a very important part of culture, that was 70s and 80s morning cartoons. I did not realize at the time that instead of turning into nostalgic lost icons of the past, they would turn instead, into a far, far worse monster than I could ever conjure up.

Fat Albert is now imprinted on the minds of today's youth as the guy from SNL.

Scooby Doo is now a 'real life' movie, made up of Freddie Prinze Jr. in a bad wig (who should be ashamed of himself, considering his lineage).

Willy Wonka is no longer the sweet singing Gene Wilder, but some whacked out Hunter S. Thompson wannabe of Johnny Depp.

I won't even DISCUSS the Bewitched debacle, don't bring it up.

When will it stop people? Dukes of Hazard? Starsky and Hutch? My GOD we must put our collective feet down!!

One of the best parts of being a parent is being able to share with your children the things that made you happy as a child as well. It's my duty and RIGHT as a parent to corrupt them with the same crazy lessons I learned from the movies I saw as a kid. They should know about Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Witch Mountain and the Apple Dumplings gangs. Not some poor imitations!!

I refused to allow my girls to go see the 'new' Pink Panther movie. The only reason I will allow them to see 'the Shaggy Dog' is because Tim Allen can do it justice, and they won't watch the first one because they are adverse to anything in black and white (which is such a shame, but thank goodness "Bye Bye Birdie" was in color!!). But what options do we have instead?? "She's the Man"...oh wait, that's a remake of Shakespeare's 'Twelfth Night'...."Aquamarine"....wait, that's basically a rip off of "Splash"....sigh.

I guess we'll just play with our Easy bake Oven this weekend and make Play-Doh pizza.

P.S. This post was inspired by THIS INFORMATION. Is nothing sacred????

Dick Van Patten he ain't

Today I have been completely obsessed with the Duggar family. Last night, I watched their story on the Discovery Channel, which apparently was their highest rated show ever. The parents, devout Southern Baptists, have 16 (sixteen. Sixteen. SIXTEEN.) children, and built themselves a 7,000 square foot home to live in. Jim Bob and Michelle homeschool their children, sew their own clothes, teach them violin, and have their own church services on Sunday.

LP and I watched it last night, switching between that, the Anatomy of Sex, and a show on polygamy. Needless to say, we had our share of 'relationships' as it were.

This morning, as I was packing lunches, making breakfasts, making beds, doing hair, and emptying the dishwasher, I dropped some cereal on the floor, and he said, "Come on honey, let's have 14 more."

Ummmmm........no.

On Hiatus

I realize I have not blogged in over a week, and it is not due to some catastrophic illness or project due at the end of the week; granted, I've been pretty busy but not enough to excuse my blogging slack-ness.

It just seems every few months or so I have to STEP BACK from blogging, otherwise it completely takes over my day. If I get started on my blog, and then continually check it and follow links, etc. well, as you probably know I end up looking at the clock and realize 2 hours has gone by.

I've just got to re-focus is all.

And the weather has been super nice! Rug and I went out several times andI used my regular Minolta camera to take pictures! And I took them to the store and got them developed! They turned out great, but I don't have a scanner so you won't see them. And that's okay.

A friend of mine came over last week. She is very cool, but has only been using email for around 2 months, so that tells you how techno-savvy she is. Anyway, she asked about blogging, and I told her I had one, and she wanted to see it. See it?!?! Uh....no.

The only person I have told about my blog whom I see on a daily basis is my husband. The rest of my readers who 'know' me in real life live far away from me. This way, if I say something stupid, I don't feel like someone is going to call me on it (except for Jimmy, but he never writes anyway so no worries there).

But to have someone from my circle of friends reading my blog, hmm, I don't know about that one. We shall see what transpires.

So, that is it. Just taking a blogging break, I've done it before, I'm sure I'll do it again.

And one last note: I got a kickass new dancepad for my DDR!!! IT's so cool!!!

Okay, later.

SPF

Welcome to the March 3 2006 edition of SPF, brought to us always by Kristine who has since moved but I have yet to figure out how to get her blogroll link fixed, so we'll get to that later.


*My Favorite pair of Jeans.

Well, right now they'd be any pair that will fit me at this point. I used to be a hardcore Old Navy jeans fan, but then they started falling apart on me, so I became a bornagain Levi-Strauss-ithan.








*My birthmarks/Moles/Freckles
I do not have any birthmarks, but I have had these two freckles under my eyes since I was about five years old. My daughter used to trace them with her fingers when I carried her around. This is also a gratuitous shot of my diamond earrings. And yes I am once again wearing a grey sweatshirt, why do you ask?
















*My photo albums/scrapbooks
Here are where a few of my albums are, right next to me at all times at my computer desk. The rest of them are in the basement, which is a pretty bad place for them really, you know, what with flooding and fires and the wrath of the basement Gods and all. Please, do notice the David Beckham book there. And I do have a lot a lot of pics still on my hard drive, anxiously awaiting to be printed.










*Extra picture for fun

You really truly didn't believe that I would be dumb enough to set my purse on fire right? Well let me tell you, if this picture doesn't prove to you my blonde-worthiness, what does?

All I can remember is that I kept thinking my drink was going to get spilled or knocked over, so I kept pushing it and pushing it...inadvertantly pushing my purse directly into a candle. There were 3 of us sitting there, and not a one of us smelled the burning...a guy from ACROSS THE ROOM smelled it and came over, it was only then that we realized my purse was on fire. And, to add insult to injury, I thought it was a Target purse (which was tragic enough) but when I got it home, it said "Nine West" in side. OH well!!!

What happen on Nyquil cannot be explained

I have documented on numerous occasions my inability to tolerate anything with caffeine in it. I am also a person who does not do medication well. Advil is probably about the only medicine I can take without becoming the frigging Trix rabbit totally feening for some colored flavored cereal. But with the sickness I have had the last few days, the all-over chills and sweat chills were about to drive me insane. I had to take something, otherwise melt into a giant glob of influenza nastiness. The damn Vicks vapor inhaler just was not cutting it, even though I had become acutely addicted.

LP insisted I buy some Nyquil for himself, as he is normally a pretty good sleeper but I guess he felt he needed to hibernate sleep so he took some Monday night and slept hard. I, on the other hand, stayed on the couch and watched "Play Misty for Me" in the wee hours of the morning. (**ooh have you seen this movie? I loved how Clint Eastwood just has these faces, you know?**) Only to wake up miserable and downright crabby yesterday. And I quote my oldest daughter, "Mommy, you are way super crabby."

So last night, I figured, what do I have to lose, I feel like crap already, what's more jitters going to hurt? I took just a teaspoon of Nyquil right before bed and put on my kerchief and cap for a long winter's sleep...when from out on the lawn arose such a clatter...no wait, wrong story.

The sleeping!!!!! It was marvelous. I woke up this morning at 6:22 a.m., rested and feeling much better, albeit with a slight 'hangover' type headache that has not gone away completely yet, but enough where I can tolerate that and not have to think about all the clogged up-ness of my sinuses.

Mostly though, the dreams were totally and indubitably the best part of taking Nyquil. Now, I don't know if you are a regular Nyquil user that the dreams become so vivid, but since I have not taken a sip of Nyquil since 1991, the dreams might have been a tad bit more hallucinogetic.

Dream sequence #1:

Terrorists had struck, but this time they did it by lighting a giant Sparkler in downtown NYC and were bastardizing the Star Spangled Banner using messed up words. Sort of like what Roseanne did, I guess. I was feeling bad because I thought the colors were pretty.

Dream sequence #2:

I was an FBI agent, but I was also Geena Davis in a blue-green pantsuit (*Note: Some people believe we dream in b/w and then our brain adds color when we wake up...do you honestly think I would choose blue-green?) I was working undercover as a cop and when one of my fellow agents was wounded, who looked just like HDL, my cop superiors came to my house while I was having pork roast with my family to interrogate my about the incident. But I was Geena Davis and they trusted and respected me, so they said they were only there to cover all the bases. I was feeling guilty for leading a double life, and not telling my cop buddies the truth. There was also a train cop scene, but it'd be hard to describe.

Dream sequence #3:

Terrorists strike, again, yet this time they targeted my hometown, and they had a plan that they were going to first eradicate all Action Movie Heroes (I am so not kidding, the Nyquil I swear) and of course Arnold was first, Bruce Willis was next, and for some reason Angelina Jolie was 3rd on the list. After a big explosion, I was reunited with my husband who was BARRY MANILOW of all people, who was wearing an ascot, and when we embraced, he said, "This experience had showed me that I don't want to be married anymore." and I was all like, "Okay, Barry, whatever you want, just hold me for now."

Dream sequence #4:

LP was a foreign ambassador, and we were visiting Gaddafi (it was like the Celebrity Dream Night or something!) and through a mixup had us staying at a Best Western, even though we went to all these formal balls, and were all dressed up, eating the continental breakfast in eveningwear. He was very friendly though, and generous. There was a water park in the back, and we went and I almost lost Rug. LP went to complain to the owners that the water park was substandard.

Final dream:

I was getting ready to renew my vows with LP and I had my dress on and was looking so fancy but my hair would not stay in the bobby pins and it was driving me crazy, but I was so happy that I was not pregnant, like I was the first time we got married!!!

So, in conclusion, I got a great night of sleeping, some wild dreamin', and definitely confirming Hoss's statement that blogging is best when you are NOT feeling normal. I can only imagine what TWO teaspoons of that green concoction would have done to me!

Anniversary

Do you know my Blog anniversary came and went without any acknowledgement??? I started this blog February 19th of last year. I do not recall what prompted me to do so, on blogger that is. I started with a Myspace profile, and I started getting strange friend requests, so I tried to steer clear of it. I still have my profile there, but I seldom visit it.

You can read my first blog entry HERE.

My husband was very leery of the blog world, it's difficult for him to understand the concept of talking to strangers and giving them a peek into your personal life I guess. I love it though, and am completely addicted. I have met wonderful people, and always appreciate anyone who comes to visit!!

On that note, I really must go. I've been miserably sick for the last 2 days and right now I'm actually feeling a little normal, so I probably need to get some work done.

How I spent my Mardi Gras by Vajana

Last night we went to a Mardi Gras party at the good ol' Knights of Columbus.

I drank, ate, got Thousand Island dressing spilled on LP's pants by the waitress with no apology, drank some more, threw Velcro balls at the person to your left, drank bad wine (with ice in it, ew), caught my purse on fire on one of the candles on the table (completely got burnt up), took a shot of Green Apple pucker, danced to a SUCKY band (Note to band: Dude, "Refugee" by Tom Petty has never been, or ever will be, a dance tune), drank some more but did NOT have one of the vodka-soaked cherries, had some girl attempt to lick my chest, had a lengthy discussion on cock rings and dildos, and finished the night off beating two other ladies in arm wrestling.

And in poor blogging taste, for Hoss, I will ask, How did YOU celebrate Mardi Gras???

spfriday

spfriday
Originally uploaded by Vajana.

It is Friday again and I am able to play. Both my girls are sick at home so I have more time to get things done, like SPF! The categories this week are:

*Your favorite lamp

* Your nightstand drawer

* Good books you have read

And away we go.....

lamp

lamp
Originally uploaded by Vajana.

This is my favorite lamp. We do not have many lamps in our house, but with the remodeling we pretty much replaced every light fixture in the house. I will do yet another shameless plug right here for Lowe's, they kick ASS in the light fixture department. Gawd they really should start paying me for all this advertising.

drawer

drawer
Originally uploaded by Vajana.

You get the top drawer...NEVER the middle!!! I didn't even know what was in the top drawer...I'm always opening the middle!! (okay, nuf said)

So in the top drawer we have: the Tao te Ching and Paul Harvey. Both full of wisdom, g'day!

books

books
Originally uploaded by Vajana.

grr, I hope this doesn't show up sideways...well, great books would be anything from Tom Robbins. Jitterbug Perfume of course my all time favorite book, hands down.

As far as a current book I've read, I would say go check out "Time Traveler's Wife". Pretty good.

You can see these books have been re-read and re-read!!

ack

ack
Originally uploaded by Vajana.

Okay, and lastly, is it not the coolest thing that my kindergardener came home with THIS on her graded paper? Bill the Cat! How excited would Bill be knowing he was the prize for knowing how to add numbers.

And if you are unfamiliar with Bill, he is, as Rug says, "a dirty Garfield". Couldn't have said it better myself.

I heart 80s icons

Circus Kelli's comment made me think about the dream I had the other night. She said she dreamt she had a relationship with John Stamos. I always thought he was a little too pretty myself, I was more of a C. Thomas Howell gal myself. (Hello? Soul Man?!?! Touched me.) And of course the Ricks, and I had a bout of Corey infatuation as well.

But I never, ever had it for Tom Cruise.

Oh, my friends were SO in love with him. Posters on their walls, "I LOVE TOM" on their folders, buttons, iron on transfers, the whole bit.

Not me.

Back then even, I knew he was a bit off. He just struck me as being, an alien I guess.

And look, I was right! He is an alien, at least according to John Travolta.

I had this dream that we were at the movies, and he and I had been dating for a few weeks, and I remember just feeling gushy about him, about how excited I was to be with him, that he was just the coolest thing since sliced bread. After the movie, his PARENTS picked us up to drive us home (which, even in dream state, I thought was a little kooky). He walked me to my door to give me a good night kiss, and he starts jumping up and down, "OKAY, I love you. I am so in love with you. I just love you!" Literally freaking me the hell out, even in my dream. I was so conflicted, being really excited because I was thoroughly attracted to him, but then he had to throw that Love word out there, which, in my real life, I don't say to anyone until I am absolutely sure about them, and just then POOF I woke up.

I guess it freaked the real Me out so much I had to get the subconscious Me the hell out of that situation.

But now, when I see pictures of him, I almost feel nostalgic for that one night we spent together that was so nice, and sweet, the night Tom Cruise loved me.

It could've been To-Jana, ya know. Or Jom. Or TomaJana.

Cruiseana?

I know he's been a good friend of mine

Last night I was curling Rug's hair, because they have no school today and she was bored. I was downstairs, and LP runs to the door and says, "Uh, you had better get up here, right away."

"Why?"

"Just, get up here."

Well, of course I immediately thought something was on the news that was bad, you know, something got bombed or something, and he didn't want to scare the girls. But when I walked into the den, THIS GUY is who I see, on our brand new big screen television, ALL in HIGH DEFINITION.

Oh, we watched the whole thing. It certainly made up for the insomnia the other night.

And even though LP continued to make 'witty' remarks throughout the program, I enjoyed every last Bop till you Drop moment of it.

Oooh, I knew we bought that TV for a good reason. Yowza!!!

It's on again tonight for an encore appearance, because well, you know, he's very popular with the HD crowd, I'm sure. (if you do have HD and can see this, seriously, look at his fan base. It's all soccer moms--seriously I saw maybe one guy in the whole audience.)

http://hd.net/op_concertseries.html

Insomnia

Mood: Frustrated.

Why? I can't fucking sleep that's why!! It is 4:00 in the morning and for NO reason at all I am awake, and running out of things to do. It is snowing outside, that usually makes for a restful sleep. No, not for me. Dammit.
Gawd. Maybe I'll download some pictures for you all to enjoy. That should take up a few more minutes before I go back and lay down and try to fall back to sleep!!

This is me in Central Park, NYC in 2003. This is the picture every man should look at before they get married, because THIS is the look they will get when their spouse is a wee bit frustrated with them that he hasn't taken the picture ALREADY. Geez!

Annnnd this is a picture of baby Jesus made entirely out of Legos. And I thought the same thing you are, that is why I took a picture of it.





This is Rug riding the Tilt A Whirl. Love her face.
Here is AL tapping her cleats for a select soccer team. I'm not sure why they do it, but I think it looks so...professional when they do it. Sigh...did I mention she had a 9 o'clock soccer game so I really need to GET to BED????